Dear Husband, I'm Tired of Being the "Bad Cop"Lori Garcia
You’re a fantastical father in a million-billion ways. You’re fun, exciting, entertaining, and hilarious all qualities our kids (and I) have come to know and love about you. But when it comes to being the “bad cop” in parenting, I sense that you miss the kids too much to want to get your hands dirty.
It’s not uncommon for parents to fall into “good cop/bad cop” roles, but as the designated bad cop, I have to say my role pretty much blows.
Kids require an annoying amount of discipline, obnoxious amount of scheduling, and ridiculous amount of attention, but that’s parenting. While parenting is filled with joy, it’s more often filled with really hard work carefully administered by the bad cop. Someone has to keep the schedule, someone has to maintain order, someone has to ensure the children survive that someone is the bad cop.
While I’ve noticed that kids generally favor one parent for their needs and the other for their fun, I’d like to know what it feels like leave the heavy lifting to someone else. I’m tired of being known as mom, destroyer of fun.
I know it’s because I’m the bad cop that you get to be the good cop. And because raising well-mannered, healthy kids has always been important to you, I know you’ll flex your bad cop muscles…but only when you absolutely have to.
We both want the exact same things for our children but our parenting methodology is often worlds apart.
I can easily understand how our personalities lead us to assume good cop/bad cop roles, but I can’t help think there’s got to be a better, more equitable way.
Circle of Moms suggests that when it comes to good cop/bad cop parenting, “… getting on the same page will help your child develop a clear sense of boundaries.” Honey, we’ve got some homework to do.
When it comes down to it, I don’t want to be the good cop or the bad cop; I just want a parenting partner in crime.
Are you the “good cop” or “bad cop” in your household?
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