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Dear Know-It-All People Without Kids, Shut the %$#@ Up

By Lori Garcia |

Ooo, the title is a little harsh. Let’s try this again: Dear Know-It-All People Without Kids, Shut the %$#@ Up Please. Now that’s better.

There were tons of things I swore I’d never say or do once I became a parent. I suppose in opposite world I’m parenting exactly how I thought I would (or should).

Every now and again I encounter a smuggy childless soul with defined and vocal ideas about parenting. Hey, I was a “better” parent before I had kids too. Don’t get the wrong idea, it’s not that I have a thing against the childless population – oh gosh no. I have a thing against the smarty pants childless types who insist on sharing their inexperienced and unsolicited advice.

This rant is exclusively reserved for the nonparentals who claim to be wise in the challenges of raising little people. These folks are quick to discuss daycare, potty training, vaccinations, and the laws of proper parenting. Most of the time I just smile and nod, but other times I bottle it up, sit down at the computer and unleash the unbridled fury of everything I’m too chicken to say out loud.

Brace yourselves; this slideshow is about 9 years in the making.

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How parents feel when childless people give parenting advice

I know my kids better than you do

I know it's hard to imagine but I actually do know the little people who passed through my birth canal, nursed on my boobs and pooped/peed/vomited all over me for a solid year. I can tell you every illness, every first word, when they started walking and what calms them down. I know their triggers, their favorite foods and how to mother them. Can you say that? Didn't think so.
Photo credit: Shutterstock

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About Lori Garcia

mommyfriend

Lori Garcia

Lori Garcia is a writer and mother of two living and loving in Southern California. When she's not fussing with her bangs, you can find her shaking her groove thing on her personal blog, Mommyfriend where she almost never combines true tales of motherhood and mayhem with her degree in child development. Read bio and latest posts → Read Lori's latest posts →

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106 thoughts on “Dear Know-It-All People Without Kids, Shut the %$#@ Up

  1. Vanessa aka mamascribble.com says:

    HA! You just about summed it up, my friend! :)

    Vanessa

  2. Sylvia says:

    Love the “don’t tell me how tired your are” slide. I didn’t realize how tired I would be until I had my little guy. I seem to have grown accustomed to being in a constant state of fatigue.

  3. Kristin @kdwald says:

    Oh, come on. Child-less people need to live in the delusion that they would be able to control the insanity. It’s part of what makes our world turn relatively smoothly. It’s like how I know very well that I could run the country (and that means *any* country) better – and I know exactly what to do to fix this whole “energy crisis” issue. Let them live in the blissful, haughty belief that it’s easier than we make it look.

  4. Jen says:

    Don’t forget the parents of only one child whose child was a relatively easy child to rear. A lot of them are know-it-alls who don’t really know as much as they think. If I’d had only my second child, I would probably be one of them, because there is no doubt that she has been much easier temperament-wise from the get go.

  5. Stacey Gill says:

    Hilarious. I, too, love the one about being tired. (And wishing a dificult child on them).

  6. Monica says:

    The same can be said of some relatively new parents. You know the ones who only have children 4 and under, but think they know how to deal with pre-teen and teenage mood swings. Yeah give it another 5-10 years you’ll be singing a different tune, I guarantee you!

  7. Danielle says:

    @Monica, I totally agree. People with infants/toddlers offer me advice for my (almost) 10 year old all the time and it irks me to no end.

    @Jen makes another point I instantly thought of when I read this- raising one child does not an expert make. The second (or third, etc) child always changes everything.

    Another thing that bugs me is when parents of perfectly healthy people think they can give me parenting advice for children who have medical problems. He has severe eczema, environmental allergies, multiple food allergies, a chronic GI disorder, and a huge cognitive delay. You simply cannot expect of him what you would of another 5 year old. He needs to be treated according to what he can handle.

  8. julie says:

    Hey, us childless/free people know a lot more about kids than you give us credit for. Childfree people know enough about kids to know better than to have any, I can tell you that much. Ever hear of Supernanny? Childless. The thing about people without kids is that we get to be subjective, rather than having an emotional reason to get defensive on behalf of kids, or defensive for the sake of our own egos.

    Here’s a thought, if you were doing a good job of parenting, no one would tell you to do things differently. Or, if they did, you wouldn’t be bothered by it. Likely, you’re bothered because those childless/free people ARE right, and aren’t buying your excuses.

  9. Svetlana says:

    Don’t worry. I have no interest in telling you how to raise your children. Life will do that eventually. Just teach your children not to touch things that are not theirs (including produce at the grocery store or other people’s dogs – my God, some parents have no sense!), take them out of the restaurant when they have a screaming tantrum, do not drag them to R-rated films or to child-unfriendly businesses, especially past their bedtime, and don’t cajole them to bother me in public when I am minding my own business (this is called “babystalking”) – and you and I should be cool.

  10. Pat says:

    Awww I don’t believe that many childfree people are bothering you with unsolicited advice. Childfree people usually try to stay far from children and their accompanying, simpleton mommies. That’s my thing with mothers, not so much the fathers, is that you constantly think that someone gives a shit about your common kid. You do, I presume the grandparents do. But as for the rest of us, forget it.

  11. Pismo says:

    Of course the childless have something that none of you have; The very good sense not to breed in a world overflowing with humans.

    Most of us don’t care about your kid, or your self-imposed “problems”. You had it, so you raise it. The only advice we want to give you is “get your tubes tied!”

    Just don’t block the supermarket isles, sidewalks or doorways while you are doing so, or nearly cause car accidents messing with your spawn, or let your brat(s) scream, fuss, and/or run wild wherever they are, or expect us to cheerfully foot the bill for your tax credits and ever-rising school costs.

  12. Amy says:

    Oh,puh-leez….I wouldn’t bother to tell you how to raise your kids. I ,like most childFREEpeople,couldn’t care less,so long as you are not harming them or allowing them to irritate or inconvenience others in public.
    I am much too busy doing what I want when I want,achieving my dreams,and enjoying my wonderful marriage to worry about tedious ,ordinary,mundane things like the proper way to raise a child.
    Thanks to stfu parents for the link to this silly blog,though :D

  13. Katie says:

    You’re tired? Wow, how very unfortunate. I’m sure wiping butts and walking around with a baby in your arms is every bit as tiring as the several consecutive 18 hour days I have to pull routinely.

  14. mommyfriend says:

    Whoa there childless peeps. I said outright, “This rant is exclusively reserved for the nonparentals who claim to be wise in the challenges of raising little people. These folks are quick to discuss daycare, potty training, vaccinations, and the laws of proper parenting.” Unless you’re one of those, you can respectifully calm down. As for “several consecutive 18 hour days you have to pull routinely, achieving your dreams,and enjoying your wonderful marriage”…we moms do that too – in addition to everything else. We’re not bitter, we’re just asking you to keep your opinion to yourself because unless you’re knee deep in it, you can’t possibly know. The tone of some of these comments remind me why I’m so blessed to be humbled as a mother. Having the opportunity to think beyond myself makes me a better person than I once was. Thanks for the reminder,

  15. JamieAnne says:

    After reading these comments, it is clear to me that some of you who are childless are doing the world a favor. Self-centered, me-centric attitudes and children should not be combined. Not that they are not parents with the same afflictions, but good for you for realizing it.

    If you want nothing to do with kids, fine by me. As long as you keep your snide comments to yourselves I’ll do my best to keep my kids from interrupting your never ending “me” time.

  16. Kait says:

    I’m childfree and plan to be for the rest of my life, and I would NEVER offer advice to my friends with kids unless they asked. I don’t like kids, I don’t know how to deal with them, and it’s not my business how my friends raise their kids, unless they are abusing or neglecting them. Also, just because people don’t have kids doesn’t mean they don’t know what it’s like to be busy. I am allowed to be tired and comment on it. I work 45 hours a week and volunteer every weekend. Your reasons for exhaustion are simply different than mine, and neither is better or worse. Also, being smug and acting like you’re better than everyone else who doesn’t have children is the reason people like me find MOMMIES annoying. Also, thanks to STFU parents for the link ;)

  17. Keri says:

    Thanks for the laugh, I needed it this morning!!

  18. Mommy Rotten says:

    As a mom I have to say this was pretty obnoxious. I think the sin of offering unsolicited advice (which is annoying) pales in comparison to the assumptions, prejudices and entitlement written here.

  19. KC says:

    What an unfortunate article. I fail to see how suggestions such as these delivered in a tone like this does anything to help parents and child free people understand one another.

    Granted, I am probably not one of the parents you are aiming this article at, but it still impacts me. I hold down three part-time jobs — often, my days can be 16-18 hours long. Trust me, I am very tired at the end of the day, and I think, given this schedule, it is reasonable to complain about my fatigue. Having a child does not mean you are automatically rewarded the gold medal in the Tiredness Olympics (TM). I also think it’s a bit irritating that much of the advice you are offering here doesn’t follow itself. Aren’t you offering me unsolicited advice? Aren’t you assuming your audience is stupid?

    You know what would be more constructive? Providing some ideas for how childfree people can offer feedback in a supportive way. Sometimes parents can get too far into the weeds to be objective, or to recognize some behavior is going to be problematic. Sometimes understanding how children behave when they are not around you can be helpful to parents, and it’s silly to reject it outright without considering the truth of the statement, and whether using a different approach might not be helpful for your child.

  20. Bex says:

    I was right with you until you said “I feel sorry for you future children and, I wish you a difficult child.” You had a great point until you sunk to being rude.

    I have a ‘difficult child’, he is autistic and is aggressive because he doesn’t understand appropriate social skills and gets irate. As you can imagine, I get hoards of unsolicited advice. Yes it is annoying, but wishing these people the heartache I face daily, that’s just nasty.

    Attitudes like this is why childfree people often don’t want to be friends with people with kids. I know plenty of Moms who see their childfree friends, do nothing but blab on about their kids the ENTIRE time, but if the friend engages Mom about the only thing she is prepared to talk about, it’s all “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, YOU DON”T HAVE KIDS!”
    Everyone has their ideals about what they will parent like, I’m sure you were like this too once, or were you perfect from the get-go?

  21. A says:

    You’d like to hear something redeeming? Beaten into submission? Wishing ill on others and on unborn children? What huge self-righteous piece of garbage. It’s mothers like this that give attentive, patient parents such bad reputations. Maybe no one says anything redeeming because your kids aren’t great, and no one is obligated to compliment your or your kids if there is nothing to compliment. Maybe you’ve been beaten into submission because you’re not strong enough, and need to take it upon yourself to learn more skills and/or make better choices when teaching your children how to behave. Hoping that other people have difficult children is just cruel, both towards the parents and the child. Nice attitude towards society. If you spent half as much time being firm with your parenting choices (so that your kids don’t walk all over you) as you have categorizing your frustrations with childless people and writing this article, maybe your life wouldn’t be so difficult and you’d have less to complain about.

  22. Kara says:

    What a poorly written piece of *&^%. As a mom of three, I find this article, the author, and many of these sancti-mommy commenters here embarrassing and completely hypocritical. Way to give all give parents a bad name. One minute you’re going on about how the childless population is self-absorbed and me-centric… and then two lines later do exactly the same thing with “don’t you dare tell ME how tired YOU are.” You call them judgmental and then you follow that up by claiming they’re ignorant and that you to feel sorry for their future children. You say they’re the rude ones yet you go on to wish them a difficult child? Um.… look in the mirror much? Grow up and grow a pair. Unsolicited advice is given all the time and about everything (work, home, money, marriage). Most people are just trying to be helpful. But if it bothers you that much, try an “adult” and politely ask the advice-giver to stop. But don’t go on a crazy defensive rampage and embarrass the rest of the parenting population out here. Personally, two of my best parenting confidantes do not have kids yet, but I find them to be very wise (and and often give great advice and a better perspective) than many of my mommy friends. Just goes to show that good ideas can come from anywhere and just because you have a kid, doesn’t mean you’re an expert on the subject (and vice versa).

  23. Reality says:

    Maybe no one ever compliments your kids because your kids are rude and act horribly in public. And by “getting beat into submission” do you actually mean “let my kids walk all over me, and just giggle and laugh when little Bobby shoves a senior citizen or Susie throws food at other people in the restaurant”?

  24. Heeds says:

    While you did say outright that “This rant is exclusively reserved for the nonparentals who claim to be wise in the challenges of raising little people,” how exactly does another person saying they’re tired constitute them telling you how to raise your kids? There are hundreds of legitimate reasons for a person to be tired that don’t involve children. Parents don’t have an exclusive right to exhaustion and any parent who acts like they do is just asking to be treated like a tantrum-throwing toddler themselves. It’s petty and ridiculous. (And, before I get flamed for being a know-it-all nonparental, I have 4 kids. Including twins. I’m quite clear on how exhausting it is.)

  25. Amanda says:

    Your desire to hear something redeeming?
    Probably lost any chance of that with this “article”.

  26. Rachael says:

    Wow, this article started out okay but it turned out very petty and vindictive. When I say I’m tired, it’s because I have heart failure, and asthma, and I can’t effing BREATHE. Why don’t you try thinking about the other person for a few seconds instead of living in “all about me” mommy la-la-land (which, I hasten to add, most mommies do not live in)?

  27. Lee says:

    1. Do NOT lump vaccinations in there with other stuff “non-parentals” couldn’t possibly understand. Just because I haven’t used my uterus for its intended purpose doesn’t mean I don’t understand how immunology works, and unless there is a legitimate medical reason your child can’t be vaccinated, if you choose not to do so, I WILL call you out as a terrible selfish excuse for a parent and a human being.

    Last week, I was on the streetcar with two tourist parents who were dragging their whining, listless, obviously miserable kids on a streetcar ride. The kids were COVERED in oozing chickenpox sores. You know what? Chickenpox is almost always a mild illness in healthy young children and in a few days, those kids will probably be fine. But not everyone who lacks immunity to chickenpox is a healthy young child–in an immunocompromised person or even in a healthy adult, chickenpox can be deadly. A pregnant woman who contracts chickenpox runs the risk of her kid having some pretty serious birth defects. You’re not vaccinating your kid just for your kid…you’re doing it for everybody else who CAN’T be vaccinated.

    And, for God’s sake, if you DON’T vaccinate your kid, QUARANTINE THEM WHEN THEY COME DOWN WITH SOMETHING.

    2. For an entire year, I worked two jobs (sales clerk and waitress and then full-time college teacher, divided between two campuses, and waitress). No car, no on-site laundry facilities, 47 stairs to my home, and guess what, the housework didn’t do itself, either. I routinely put in 70 hour weeks, and for one 47-day-stretch, I did not have a single day off. Sleeping through the night and then getting up at noon on Saturday? Try leaving the house at 6:30 am on Friday to catch two buses to one campus, leaving that campus at 11:30 am to catch two buses to another campus, not being done teaching for the day until 9:45 at night and there’s not another bus until 11 pm, and knowing you’ve got two days worth of double-shifts in a row at the restaurant that weekend, which means you’re there and on your feet and up to your elbows in salad dressing and spaghetti sauce from 8 am till 11 pm, and at some point you also have to grade over 100 papers, and then you get to do it all again on Monday.

    You have a couple of people who make messes and behave like brats and whom you are partially responsible for the education of. I had HUNDREDS, and a lot of them were drunk, and I wasn’t allowed to spank them when they were being assholes. Don’t give me that crap about how I couldn’t possibly know what tired is.

  28. Amy says:

    As a childree by choice woman, I agree with much of this: I would never criticize a parent unless they were doing something that ANY person could plainly see as wrong — mainly, abusive or adan

    However, I will complain of tiredness (if I want to) and feel no guilt. When you have a child, you CHOOSE to take on a very difficult job, which can (and usually does) include sleeplessness. Suggesting that non-parents can’t complain about fatigue is just as unfair as asking parents to stop griping about the fatigue simply they voluntarily signed up for.

    I’m sorry if parent feel jealous that the childfree get more sleep, but that’s the path they chose. Also, insomnia is a real thing that can affect anyone, offspring or not. As are long working hours and just because one doesn’t have a kid, doesn’t mean they don’t or can’t have very busy lives.

  29. Jen says:

    “The tone of some of these comments remind me why I’m so blessed to be humbled as a mother. Having the opportunity to think beyond myself makes me a better person than I once was.”

    Yep, sounds pretty humble to me.

  30. Jan says:

    This feels like jealousy coming from someone who has made their bed and now has to lie in it.
    Wishing ill will on someone trying to help is totally wrong. Wishing someone to have horrible children, or feeling pity for unborn humans is just stupid.
    Plenty of things happen in people’s lives that are more tiring and emotionally draining than parenting. Dealing with people and life around us, death, stress, work, and the uncertainty of life in general are tiring. Childfree people usually do more productive things with their lives like volunteering, or being mentors, or actually succeeding at their jobs, and bettering themselves. That is tiring. Just like you don’t want unsolicited advice on your parenting, we don’t want unsolicited advice on being nonparents. Sure we won’t ever know what it’s like to be a parent, much like you won’t ever know what it takes to be a nonparent. Being a parent at its basest level doesn’t take anything but your sex organs and some (hopefully) common sense. Being a nonparent is going against societal norms and meaning we have to put up with written garbage like this. We’re sorry if you are jealous, or feel you are more important than us. But frankly we are just happy to go home and be away from you and your sniveling children.

    PS we won’t have future children because we are intelligent enough to understand how to use birth control properly.

    OH! ALSO!! We nonparents ALWAYS hear unsolicited advice on how WE should live OUR lives! That we NEED children, and we WILL have them one day! So Why don’t you STFU and leave your own bad choices to yourself.

  31. Jan says:

    “The tone of some of these comments remind me why I’m so blessed to be humbled as a mother. Having the opportunity to think beyond myself makes me a better person than I once was. Thanks for the reminder.”

    Mommyfriend, if this is you as a better person…quick, pop out another because you need some work on that!

  32. Cara says:

    “What a poorly written piece of *&^%. As a mom of three, I find this article, the author, and many of these sancti-mommy commenters here embarrassing and completely hypocritical. ”

    Thank you Kara, for I am childfree and do not go on rampages against parents who tell me to have children all the time, or try to tell me what I know best. It is good to know there are smart people who are well-balanced like you, and there are people like the author of this article…

    I still have some hope for the future…I like parents and do not try to tell them how to do their job. I still have to hear parents tell me that I should have kids. I know my SELF better than you do. And the tired bit rubs me the wrong way for the exact same reasons as Kara mentioned in her above comment.

  33. Kara says:

    “Having a child does not mean you are automatically rewarded the gold medal in the Tiredness Olympics (TM). LOL.” Best. Line. Ever. I work a full-time job and then come home to chase 3 kids around the house for the rest of my night. I’m thoroughly exhausted. But I would never be so self-absorbed and self-righteous as to think that my exhaustion is any more significant than that of a non-parent. Remember fellow mommies, we consciously made this decision to have our kids and they’re worth EVERY minute of sleep we lose on them. And yes, we’re entitled to complain about it… but that doesn’t mean we’re allowed to marginalize anyone else’s complaints about whatever is making them tired as well. MOMMYFRIEND, it’s irresponsible voices like yours that is making this landscape between parents and non-parents such a hostile one. I just hope that the non-parents reading this piece realize that so many of us do not support or share this author’s opinions. It’s a shame that pretty much anyone with access to the Internet these days can post &*^% like this and call themselves a blogger/writer.

  34. Dogs are kids says:

    It is too bad non parents didn’t intervene here when this kids died of cancer because he parents didn’t get him treated:

    http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/131348/parents_let_sons_cancer_go

  35. Hope C says:

    “The tone of some of these comments remind me why I’m so blessed to be humbled as a mother. Having the opportunity to think beyond myself makes me a better person than I was before”

    This may be the most smug thing I have ever heard- and after reading your original post it had plenty of competition.

  36. A says:

    Here’s another reason mommies like this need to get off their high horse: I may be a childless female who is overly proud of making the choice of not bringing a baby into my unstable life, but I have a reason to get irked when I see articles like this. I had a mother who, despite her paranoia, anxiety, lack of attention and love and general anger towards me because she hated my father… she thought she was an AWESOME mom. She wasn’t. I don’t trust any of you Martyr Mommies, because if you need to compliment yourself that much, you probably don’t have anyone else doing it for you. That means you might not be a great at your “job” as you think you are.

  37. Mary says:

    I hate to break it to you but non-parents discussing vaccinations is completely legitimate. That is a matter of public health and they have just as much right having opinions on the matter because your choice could affect them.

  38. creativediva says:

    I find it hilariously ironic that I stumbled across this controversial piece of crap by Googling “I F%@&ing hate mommy bloggers.” True story.

  39. Otik says:

    As a parent, not one of those horrible, judgmental, meanie child-free hags, I have to say…you take yourself way too seriously. People like you really are the reason that normal and SANE parents like myself are still lumped into the nutty “mombie” category. Get over yourself and be a bit more “humbled by being a mom” (whatever THAT is supposed to mean, because seems like you are the direct opposite); stop being so wrapped up in anger at those who CHOSE not to have kids- it really seems that women who are so vehemently outspoken against the childless are really just bitter that they can’t have the same care-free lifestyle anymore. You really just make yourself look like a self-centered jerk with things like this.

  40. Rachel says:

    @Jen and @Danielle Your point about being a parent of one is completely off base. Just like its rude for the childless to tell parents how to raise kids, its insulting to be told that as a parent of one, we dont really understand. Perhaps we do and that is why we chose to have one or perhaps, we are lucky to only get 1, whatever the case, its not your place to judge.

  41. Kate says:

    I’m an infertile woman desperately trying to have a child – so not quite childless (yet) in that I want them – but my friends all have children.

    I try to get together with my mom friends, but what do they talk about? Their kids. I tried to bring up politics during a recent coffee with a mom friend and she couldn’t carry on the conversation. So we reverted back to talking about her kids.

    It’s at that point in the conversation when I bring up my niece. I might say, “Oh, my niece does that,” or “My niece loves Dora,” but it’s not because I think all children are the same – as you thought perhaps I do according to your slideshow – it’s because I’m grasping at straws when it comes to talking to you about something!

    So while you make your snarky comment about how every kid is different and “our nephew may be the same age as my son but that’s about where the similarities end” please remember – I am at least TRYING to have a conversation with you. I get you’re a mom, you’re tired, you don’t have time for the news, but do you get that I could give two figs about your kid’s diaper explosions or their last doctor’s appointment?

  42. Gayle says:

    I am childfree and can say that I do not input my own advice on parents’ childrearing unless their kids are causing themselves, me or someone in near vicinity distress or harm. That bit about you having done it for 90 years is laughably stupid…I love how some parents act they are the FIRST and ONLY to have children. Guess what? Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it! That does NOT make you special just like me NOT having kids does NOT make me special. I can honestly say that by some of these responses, some parents have it right, and some childless have it right too. It is when you are too extreme to group one category of people into a stereotype, and then tell why you know what is best for everyone…which you DON’T, I’m afraid to tell you, that is dangerous. Come on, you can nitpick and say that having ONE child isn’t enough until you’ve had TWO!! And even then, you’ll NEVER know the stress of THREE!!! It’s just a stupid way to feel superior to someone else.

    Also, if this slideshow has been nine years in the making, I feel sorry for you, and for your children. I think we can all agree that you summed it up nicely for us in your last slide…you are indeed an idiot.

    Now I’m off to talk to my truly awesome parent friends who don’t feel the need to constantly reaffirm their own awesomeness as parents and people. Why? Because they really are.

  43. amberdoty says:

    Hey Jan/Gayle/Cara or whatever other name you choose to troll posts on around Babble, if you don’t agree with mommyfriend’s post try not reading them instead of spending half your night visiting all of her posts to write nasty comments.

  44. chellie says:

    I am child-free, not child-less.

  45. LUP says:

    Mommyfriend as the mother of another blogger here I had to chime in and say I was a terrible mother and even now am NOT great at it. My kids drank soda, ate food off the table since like birth, (I even have a picture of one of them sucking fat out a slice of bacon at about 6 weeks old), they watched television all the time- even inappropriate horror movies. I allowed them to use profanity within reason…I told them from birth a family was not always a mommy and a daddy sometimes it was two mommies or two daddies, I taught them to love people regardless of the color of someone’s skin living in rural alabama where it was NOT considered okay. I am NOT your average mom. THESE people would TEAR my mothering skills to shreds! AND YET.. I have college educated, professional, well rounded, loving, happy children…KEEP making your own decisions and venting about the CRAZIES…it helps US..the small minority of Mothers who can not be PERFECT in a world of THOSE PEOPLE who deem themselves so.

  46. Valerie says:

    This is disgusting! You are mom that give us real moms a bad name! I have plenty of friends without kids and I would NEVER be so rude to them like you are in this article! Learn some manners, because clearly you are not teaching them to your kids!

  47. Teresa says:

    Why aren’t people without children allowed to be tired? That one is really stupid. And anyway, I would take being tired because my kid has been up all night over the hangover like sea sick exhaustion that is ‘being pregnant” tired.

  48. Maryse Senecal says:

    loving this post.. my boys are now both grown and living the life… what an accomplishment.. means I did alright as a parent!! I stayed at home to raise them when many of my friends were dropping out of my life because of that decision… I raised them my way in spite of comments from family… I got to know each of them as individuals and what worked for one didn’t always work for both… I adapted, I played hard, I loved everyday… so yeah… I did it, it worked! they are both well rounded young men with plans and goals and bright futures…

  49. jannell says:

    i love the one about how other people complain about being tired. im a single mom of 2 little girls. a 5 yr old and a 17 month old. i cannot lay my baby down to sleep until around 11 or 12 if i do it before she will wake up at 2 in the morning and be up till 4 or 5! also trying to get my 5 yr old to lay down is really hard when there is a baby running around pulling her hair and trying to bite her toes. so until u childless folks are up every single night till around 3 ( sometimes 4) cause thats the only time of the day u can take a shower( or get anything done) and then back up at 6:45 to take kids to school. i really dont want to hear how tired YOU are!

  50. Jess says:

    I am always baffled by the amount of childless people who post comments on these blogs, usually stating why they will forever be childless and superior (and apparently totally without a sense of humor).

  51. Zack Swire says:

    Lori, you are hilarious. And for those who took offense to this, relax.

    Cheers!

    Zack

  52. Faith says:

    my personal favorites are when you have a just out of high schooler or high schooler who works part-time at a child care center and attends child care classes, because they learned this it should go like thi., I have a degree in ECE and have worked with children since I was 12, I have a 12 year old and a 4 year old, and I STILL don’t pass out advice, even when asked, I tell the parent what do you think would work best. You know your child the best, what do you think?

  53. Alyssa says:

    This is really terrible, Not all moms are like this and not all Child-less people are like this, we ALL have our own prides and on problems. if you are going to rant on maybe a better choice of words would have made this a better blog. I know and see busy people all the time and NONE even try to give me advice unless I ask them too, nor do they seem to judge, I consider myself a good mom not am amazing mom but a good one. but I do not Judge other They are only trying to help. Next time you are ranting try and make you name your aduaince right. I would Suggest that you DO NOT WISH A DIFFICULT CHILD ON ANYONE. thats just plain out rude and discusting!!!!!

  54. April says:

    I agree that people with or without kids do not need to be being rude to you and being big mouths. However, you can have VERY good advice about children and not have children of your own. I had years of experience with kids from babysitting, working at daycares and kids camps and teaching dance to little kids before I had kids of my own. So I did know a thing or two….or 100 about children and child care. So just discounting any advice I might have as stupid since I don’t have kids is pretty stupid.

  55. Shannon says:

    I was childless for a long time, and I wanted to be. Then finally, I was ready. Now my husband and I have a wonderful son, who has a wonderfully easy temperament. I don’t care how many kids you have, it is NOT easy! I knew I felt the same way as many of the childless b’s who posted above, so I knew better than to have kids until I was ready to let go of my selfish side. I finally did, and now I tell you the whole world is different! It does not matter how good a mother you are SOMEONE will tell you something about raising your kid that you don’t agree with. It happens. We can guilt ourselves better than anyone, we don’t need help, thankyouverymuch. All we ask is that childless people be a little understanding and respectful of the fact that we mother’s often do it ALL – yes that means we wipe butts, carry babies, do laundry, feed kids, AND still chase our dreams, have career goals, work inordinate numbers of hours, meet our other obligations, and manage to be sexy as all get out for our partners. We deserve your respect for doing what YOU do, PLUS being amazing mommies. We certainly respect you for having the wisdom NOT to have kids because you clearly are not ready. Thanks!

  56. Kerri says:

    As a 34 y/o Social Worker (for 4 years) and former Teacher (for 5 years), I HATE when people ask me if I have kids and then make remarks such as “Well, you don’t know how it is until you have them.” I may not have spent a full 24 hours with a child more than 5 times in my life but I have spent the majority of the working hours of the day with children AWAY FROM THEIR PARENTS (for over 9 years) and that is when you learn about children’s behaviors and how to manage them and TRY to guide other people to manage them. I do not offer unsolicited advice. Professionally, the people who are referred to me have genuine Parenting deficits, legally and ethically. And when I run into “situations” in public, off duty, and my inner Social Worker kicks in, I hold my tongue (but have called 911 on several occassions). And Personally, I have struggled for YEARS to finally get pregnant (I am due 5/28) so all of these years of cocky, superior, I-know-everything-about-Parenting-because-I-have-them-and-you-don’t Parents debasing and dismissing my advice (and certified Parenting classes) because I was childless have been very hurtful. Yes, SOME people don’t know about kids but pretend to from their childless ivory towers. However, not all of us so-far childless people should remain mute when we just might have some professional and warranted guidance to give.

  57. Diana says:

    Thank you and amen ! nothing pisses me off more then people without children and without the full time experience It can be joyful then it can be ugly (like what i just woke up too this morning at 5 a.m. after only two hours sleep due to all night screaming from my youngest because he did not want to go to sleep, he wanted to play all night, so that’s what i did played with him till he conked out then wake up to take care of my other two, well i woke up too 3 diaperless clothless children finger painting with man made paint giggling and laughing if you get my drift I have been going through it for 3 years with my oldest, a year and a half with my second oldest and 3 months with my youngest , and clean up bills = a lot of stress and tears plus pre treating hand scrubbing so I say they get no treats instead of spanking them (so tempting) then i go out with them to the store to rent a wet vac for $100 along with $50 in safe cleaning products, and some asshole without a clue says i wouldn’t want to be your child based on the fact because i said no to something my child wanted (evil me i must be just as bad as casey anthony) then hands my kids lollipops rewarding them when they are punished and i get the continued unwanted actions and stepped on with my boundaries crossed ) another pet peeve i have is know it all parents, well what works for your child does not work for mine,some children will rant wanting to be held and consoled while others need to be left alone or the ranting get’s worse like my third child, doesn’t stop these know it all saints , but then they realize oh yea different person especially when my child wallops them in the face and kicks them (although might i add it feels good when that happens strangely enough? like a told you so in physical form especially when the idiots apologize!) Hey when I ask for advice its all gravy and I don’t deny childless people can know a thing or two but when I don’t ask do not feel entitled to give it to me, or feel like you know more about my children then i do , or love them more then i do. thank you so needed this rant especially after today.

  58. Ernie says:

    It’s not just rude to offer unsolicited *parenting* advice, it’s rude to offer unsolicited advice at all. Ask such a person if they would like it if you told them outright that the sweater they were wearing is ugly.

  59. Heather says:

    Yeah, I’ve not had childless people give me advice but it is very annoying when someone with one kid trys telling you how to raise yours when their kid is a complete brat. And also@ Amy. Who was blabbing about blah dreams being achieved, wonderful marriage, blah blah. I’m a parent who A) has a wonderful marriage and B) am getting ready to start college to achieve my dream of being a photographer. So to speak, it’s not just nonparents that get all those luxurys you claim to have. So….shut your mouth! K thanks. (*¯︶¯*)

  60. Laura says:

    This is one of the most presumptuous, degrading, misinformed, and ugly articles I have ever read on a parenting blog. You- as well as the mothers cheering you on- are the reason people dislike like parents. It is the certain smugness of a know-it-all mom that is far more infuriating than a cranky child. Bring on the children! Leave the mothers at home.

  61. Amanda says:

    Ugh. Can we add in that adoptive parents need to shut up as well? Great for you that you adopted kids, but shut up about maternal instincts. You don’t have the same ones we biological moms have.

  62. JJ says:

    I have to say, as an experienced parent of three kids I can understand where this is coming from, but I have to disagree with “1 year of parenting = 10 years experience” I get so tired of hearing people who have a 1 year old cast judgement over how someone is dealing with their 3 or 6 or 15 year old.

    Seriously, you aren’t experienced until you’ve actually done the time.

  63. Reality says:

    Ever notice that its the bitchy stay at home moms who are always trying to desperately insult working moms and childfree people? Its like they are stuck at home with screaming kids and they are having doubts about their purpose in life, so they desperately try to find faults in mothers who work or women without kids, since they see these women having purposeful and living meaningful lives. A bratty stay at home mom will be pathetically trying to whine about how she has to do so much laundry, cooking and cleaning, when almost everyone does those things.

    Your jealousy is showing REALLY bad. And I feel bad for your kids if you think of them as a job.

  64. Wow, just... wow. says:

    “Ugh. Can we add in that adoptive parents need to shut up as well? Great for you that you adopted kids, but shut up about maternal instincts. You don’t have the same ones we biological moms have.”

    Wow. Amanda, you are one hateful human being. I guess Casey Anthony was better equipped with maternal instincts because she managed to pop one out of her vag? Go to hell.

  65. alex says:

    To Heather, going to a community college for “photography” with a minor in underwater basket weaving, is not going to inspire envy from the childfree. Yeah, I said community college because your grammar and spelling are ATROCIOUS “Trys” and “luxurys”????!!! Wow.

  66. Valerie says:

    “Ugh. Can we add in that adoptive parents need to shut up as well? Great for you that you adopted kids, but shut up about maternal instincts. You don’t have the same ones we biological moms have.”

    Excuse me, AMANDA? HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF NOT HAVING MATERNAL INSTINCTS! That is like saying I’m not a REAL mother because I couldn’t get pregnant! YOU VILE PIECE OF SHIT! Just because you could have a biological child doesn’t mean you are better than ANYONE! You are the worst kind of person! YOU ARE THE REASON PEOPLE HATE PARENTS!

  67. Blair says:

    It doesn’t take anything special to give birth. But, it takes A LOT of special to adopt. Adoption is the most generous way to have a child. Because you are not depending on the fact that it came out of your own body to love it. You are providing a home and family to a kid that needs it vs. just making more of them. Of all the nasty, condescending, narcissistic posts on here, Amanda’s was the worst. I wonder if she even knows what any of those words mean.

  68. JG says:

    I’m not a childless person, but I have friends who are and I appreciate their insight and advice. This is just so incredibly smug and pretentious- you sound just like the people you’re trying to discredit. “I wish you difficult children”? My, my. The people you’re directing this toward are probably thinking the same thing about you. The one thing I promised myself when I became a parent was that I would never let myself feel entitled just because I have kids. It was my choice, after all. And everyone else is entitled to their own opinions. You don’t have to like their opinions, but you don’t have to rain hate down on them for it either.

  69. Fred says:

    Part of the reason I`m scared of ever having kids is because I don`t want to become a judgmental, uptight, kid-obsessed Mombie with no personality or identity of her own. You and your ilk seem to fit this mold perfectly.

  70. Lisa says:

    Wow. I just read the flip side article and thought it was alright, so I thought I’d check out this one. What a mistake. This is disgusting. I’m not even going to go into why, because it has all been covered already. In fact, I’m going to do the polite thing and forget I ever read any of the article or half of the comments and hope that everyone here does the same. When did we forget that it takes a village?

  71. Leighann says:

    The article itself made me uncomfortable enough with stating that childless people should not give advice to those with children.
    Why?
    Aren’t they allowed to have conversations with parents?
    We shouldn’t encourage idea sharing?
    The article is very closed minded.
    And to Amanda in the comments section who wrote this:
    “Ugh. Can we add in that adoptive parents need to shut up as well? Great for you that you adopted kids, but shut up about maternal instincts. You don’t have the same ones we biological moms have.”
    Out of every single comment, and there are some harsh ones, yours was below the belt. There are so many mothers out there who have so much love to give and can’t have a child of their own. Adoption is a gift! And they love that baby more than anything in the world.
    You would be surprised how strong their instinct are.
    If you have not been there you do not know.
    Your words are filled with hate and hurt. I’m sad for you.

  72. susan clark says:

    I work with children and I have had significant improvements in behaivors through behavior modification and family therapy. I always say….. A doctor doesn’t have every illness that he knows how to treat…. therefore I do not need to have children to know how to diagnosis and treat them. I know ALOT of people that HAVE children and have NO clue how to raise and/or treat them…I believe that not having children has actually helped me help them… because if i did have them… i would be more sympathetic and therefore stop pushing parents to reach their full potential. this article may not be in regards to the ones (me) that are educated to work with children and really love what they do.

  73. Joanne says:

    I do not have children, and my experiences- including tiredness- are just as valid as anyone else’s. Also, vaccinations are a public health issue, so I have every right to share my opinion about it. Perhaps you should stop being a coward and tell people to mind their own business when they give you unsolicited advice instead of posting smug, mean-spirited dreck on the internet.

  74. Amanda R. says:

    (disclaimer: I’m not the same Amanda who disparaged adoption. I hope to adopt someday)

    This article was horrible and I can’t believe some of the reactions of the moms on here. Why are all of you so self-righteous just because you had children? I do not have children of my own but I have been a nanny for over 10 years so I think that’s taught me a thing or two about them and yet I still have parents all the time telling me that I just “don’t understand” because I haven’t “been there.” Well tell that to the 6-week-old baby who cried in my arms for 8 hours today because her little tummy hurt so badly. I could give you a hundred examples similar to that one, but since none of those children were birthed from my own body, I guess none of the experiences really matter.

  75. Jill says:

    I’m a working mom of a 7 month old, and very rarely get any kind of advice from other people (children or not) on how to raise my baby. Quite the opposite, I try to keep myself in check with my friends and colleagues (again, whether or not they have children). I KNOW I talk about my baby way too much, so I consciously try to hold back. I make an effort to do things with my friends as I struggle with this new schedule of being a working mom, and I know I’m not doing a great job at that either. If anything, my friends are the ones that are being very understanding with me as I make this transition into being a mom! And I thank them for their patience!

  76. MichelleW says:

    Am I the only person who took this entire article as tongue-in-cheek?
    I can’t believe it started such a heated debate.
    And what is all this Mommies vs. the childfree nonsense? Aren’t we ALL adults. Give me a break. The back in forth bickering makes both sides appear no better than the children that you are fighting about.

  77. Jennifer Lindsay says:

    I am soo glad someone could put into words just how frustrated I feel sometimes. ugh people without kids although not all smug but the ones that are can be soo annoying.kids make noise they run around restaurants and church sometimes and unless im not correcting them keep the comments to yourself. look I understand that people have nieces and nephews but it’s not the same as having your own child. for one thing your nieces or nephews go home so you do not have to deal with them on a daily basis.

  78. Miromi27 says:

    The only thing that amazes me, is the number of Child free people, many of them swearing to never have kids, on a parenting blog? Are you guys just bored with all you’re free time of not cleaning up spit up, and diapers?

  79. lacey says:

    This is rude! That crap about people who don’t have kids can’t possibly be as tired as those with kids! BULL S@IT SWEETY! I work full time and go to school full time as well and am lucky if I get 2 hours of sleep and never get to sleep in EVER. I don’t get to take naps like most of you mothers do when your kids nap. So don’t be telling me about how tired YOU are because you have kids. Cry me a river. Enjoy those naps you get to take.

  80. JaneyJo says:

    Of course, if you’re entire life revolves around snot and diapers I suppose I would feel chagrin toward child-less people, too. yay for me> i can sleep till noon, go on vacation, eat out….. I can do whatever i WANT because I haven’t popped out a slew of little curtain climbers. anyway, get back to discussing poopy pants and potty training with the other mothers while i go get a drink and enjoy staying up all night. so i can sleep all day tomorrow. i feel so DEPRIVED because i wont be up breast feeding or changing some nasty pants.

  81. Ams says:

    Wow, so much sensitivity and may I say viciousness on multiple sides. Can we just not say that some advice on how to raise our children is not welcome, because indeed they have very different personalities and one size doesn’t fit all sizes. I was once amused when some people were trying to shush a baby crying on the flight (and grateful it wasn’t my baby crying); you understand that people want quiet and peace, but trust me here: most parents don’t want their kids screaming and misbehaving in public places, it transforms us into eternal apologists. I have friends with no children but very sound opinions on things related to kids beyond diapers, and I am grateful for all the well-meant advice. I respect the choice of not having children, but I don’t understand how that makes them better people. Parenthood is not all about diapers, snot and sleep depravation (which btw I also suffered of before baby, working 15 hour days does that to all people equally). So don’t make it all about that, because if you do it only proves you indeed do not understand. When you see children crying, imagine they might have a reason. And when you see them misbehaving, remember we were all kids once and that most parents are doing the best they can to bring up persons who will decide to have or not to have kids.

  82. karmen says:

    HA! these comments are hilarious! my 2 bffs didn’t have kids, and i did, yet we all still seem to understand each other.

    what a world.

    with clearly not enough therapy to go around!

  83. Jennifer Lindsay says:

    well said ams.

  84. Lilly says:

    I am childless by circumstance. I make a concerted effort not to give unsolicited advice – not just to parents, but in general. Um, but how about how parents, in particular mothers, feel free to give ME unsolicited advice? It works both ways.

  85. ccinbk says:

    If you do know your kids better than anyone, why are you not recognizing their “triggers” and keeping them screaming in the $30/entree restaurant after 8pm?

  86. Bec says:

    As a mother of 5 children, ranging in ages from 17-4, this makes me mad.

    You know what, if you open your ears and listen to what others have to say, you may get some good ideas, sure theres a lot of BS out there, but just because someone dosent have children dosent make their points invalid. Some of the best parenting tips ive recieved have come from non-parents.

    Half your points are just angry attacks at no one. You wish people difficult children? Well arent you peachy. You should be ashamed at that kind of attitude.

    Oh, and the sleep one. My childless sister is a detective, she works around the clock, sometimes not sleeping for 2 days trying to get scum off the streets. I guess she has no right to be tired, she is childless after all, dosent matter how hard she works, how little she sleeps or how unbelievably difficult, scary and confronting her every single day at work is, she couldnt possibly know exhaustion because she dosent have a precious little snowflake.

    Its this kind of mindset that makes socialisation difficult for us normal mothers who dont walk around with a sense of entitlement just because we pushed a baby or two (or five) out, which really isnt much of an amazing feat.

  87. Sonja says:

    I am a full-time University student. I have eight a.m. classes. I also have a neurotransmitter imbalance that results in interrupted/restless sleep and good old fashioned fatigue. I often function on less than six hours of sleep.
    I have fainted from exhaustion on multiple occasions.
    Don’t tell me I can’t possibly be tired just because I’m not a parent.

  88. Sympathetic says:

    Poor sanctimommy. No one else can be as tired or as fulfilled or as sacrificing as you. How’s the air up there in your stratosphere? Wait…don’t tell us. I’m sure we could never possibly understand. :’(

  89. Mox says:

    You know, I just spent the better part of an hour reading every. single. comment. here and, I must say, Amanda’s pissed me off the most. As of right now, I’m childless by circumstance, and could very well be infertile. I dream of having a child but it’s most likely not in the cards for me. Do you know what I have to fall back on? adoption. I don’t give a rats a** if the kid came from my vagina or not, I would love them just the same! So a big “piss off!” to Amanda. Oh, and Mommyfriend, as well. You’re exactly the reason why the internet has such amazing blogs like STFU, Parents. Because, seriously, you need to just STFU already, Sanctimommy.

  90. Vrob says:

    After 8 years of marriage we just decided to have a child (we got married young so we aren’t old enough to have to worry about fertility problems) and I’ve been reading mommy blogs nonstop and consulting my friends who are parents (most of them!). Everyone has been really positive and supportive and I was really excited to join the club…but I am disgusted to see this example of the company I will be in. Ugh. Get the fuck over yourself you selfish, disgusting shrew.

  91. Katie says:

    You’re tired? oh, I’m so sorry.

    Parking your kids in front of the tv is clearly so much more exhausting than my 12-hour work day, 4-hour commute, oh and lest I forget, life with MS. YOU have no idea what tired is.

  92. Sciencechick says:

    I’ve spent countless hours in labs and at my desk compling my thesis, organizing my data and findings to defend my thesis to my board of advisors while balancing the full-time job I have to pay off the student loans from undergrad…but since I haven’t had kids…gosh I must have no right to say I’m tired…what ever was I thinking? I get that smug non-parents annoy you….but smug posts like this don’t exactly help your case. Being a parent is not the only reason people can use to claim that they are tired.

  93. wtfsrsly says:

    Blah, blah, blah…these comments are just chock full’o first world problems. Get over yourselves, everyone!

  94. Momma2agreatkid says:

    I am a parent to very busy and spirited children and I do not have any issues with non-parents. In fact, most of my “issues” with people are with parents like this writer. I have had it with listening to these self-centered parents who get offended at this silliest things and believe that the world should revolved around them. My husband and I have a very full and content lives with satisfying careers, a healthy lifestyle, interests/hobbies, events (book clubs, dinner clubs, vacations) and overall balance of raising a family and continuing to achieve our dreams. We have several child-free friends who are excited to be a part of our childrens lives and we love having them involved.

    What bothers me most about this article is the tone I suspect your behavior, in some way, attracts these types of comments. I find that happens with Mom’s whom give up everything to be a mother and then talk about it like it is this huge sacrifice and nobody understands and everyone is horrible. You chose this life – get over it!

  95. Maria says:

    Surprising number of spiteful comments from childless folk. If you don’t care at all – what are you reading these articles in the first place? Could not imagine reading about kids and being on parenting websites before I actually got my first child. Simply wasn’t interested.

  96. krisa says:

    As a child-free woman, I can say this article is one of the reasons childless people hate parents. The world doesn’t revolve around you just because you have a kid. I have plenty of friends/family in the military who work 12-16 hour days 6 days a week. I have friends in medical school who ON TOP of being a full time student and going to clinicals, are also working extra jobs to pay for school. Don’t tell me that just because you have a kid, the rest of us can’t be tired. Yes, you chose to have a child. I chose not to have one yet. I’d like to finish school, maybe see a few sights and spend my time and money on myself. That doesn’t make you better than me. It means, you made a choice and I made a choice. To you, that seems selfish. And, yes, maybe it is. But you know what? That’s my decision. I can choose to be selfish and enjoy my life as long as I’m not interfering with others. But you need to understand that child-free people expect the same from you. Have all the kids you want, but if you are at a restaurant, and your kids are screaming or throwing food or bothering people around you, be respectful and take them outside. I am not paying to have my meal or movie or anything else ruined by YOUR kids. And if you don’t want unsolicited advice, stop giving it out. Those of us without kids don’t need “mommies” reminding us to feel defective because we don’t have kids. We don’t need your advice about how life is “so much better” when you have kids. We don’t need you to tell us how our exhaustion is nothing compared to yours. You are not all-knowing just because you have kids. I am not all knowing just because I don’t have kids. If you want non-parents to praise your kids, make sure your kids are acting in a way that DESERVES praise. And don’t expect us to feel sorry for you for how difficult your life is, if you won’t extend us the same courtesy. Also, thank you to stfu parents for bringing me here.

  97. shannon says:

    This post is a miracle!!! I found this post for my roommate who is child free. I have two children a seven year old and a 23 month old. My roommate has a lot of opinions about what my husband and I should do as parents. If I have to work late or my hubby has had a hard day at work we don’t have the energy to take our youngest outside to play after we come home. I also go to school, so if i have to finish some homework the only way I can concentrate on it is if I let both kids watch a movie, or my seven year old play xbox. My roommate hides in her room because she claims that does not “feel comfortable” coming out to say hello to the kids since she would be the only one paying attention to them. My hubby goes to work when it is still dark in the morning, so I am in charge of getting the kids ready for school/daycare and getting myself ready. She says, “I am concerned that they are alone.” HA!!! I can’t even use the restroom!!!!! Her inflated dreams about having kids of her own and how she would treat them is garbage. A lot of child free people have these grandiose ideals that a parents have to make their children their entire word and bow to al their wants and needs without hesitation while disregarding other important tasks. Ok so my kid cries to go outside, but if I don’t rest I wont perform well at work and and I may be fired. That would help out my kids re great deal hu? My roommate lives in a world where parents don’t pee or sleep. In her world parents go to the park each day and all day with their kids, never go on dates, or have adult discussion while the kids play in another room. In the real world parents get tired, must balance providing with nurturing, and must take mental health breaks. My childless roommate is self righteous because she watches other peoples children and they “love” her. well…here something else interesting. My roommate is a stay at home girlfriend. Her boyfriend and her father pay all her bills, so she could not possibly understand how to care for a little one if she can’t care for herself. I am shoving this blog in her face!!!! Child free people back off. If you don’t have your own life together then don’t judge people, who keep their lives together along with keeping their children’s lives together.

  98. Alison M says:

    Wow, Amanda (who made the adoption comment), just…wow. As someone who was adopted (I was 11 at the time), I can tell you that I had a much better home life than a lot of my friends, all of whom were with their biological families. I was picked – I was deliberately wanted and chosen and loved, and it didn’t matter then and it doesn’t matter now that my parents aren’t biologically related to me. Sharing your genes with your children doesn’t make you a mom. Love and kindness and hugs when your kids do something good and punishments when your kids do something bad and everyone having root beer floats on lazy Sunday afternoons because you know that no matter what you do, your parents love you and you love them in return – THAT’S what makes you a mom. Biology can go stick itself where the sun don’t shine, and I hope you join it!

  99. spoonleg says:

    I don’t know why I find this article so shocking. I guess I should expect such self-centered, condescending and vitriolic rhetoric from a mommyblogger. I laugh to myself because I wonder if you even realize that YOU are the reason childfree people judge and dislike you? I am actually impressed and relieved to read the majority of the mommies on this site condemning you and this ridiculous posts. Not all moms are like you, I’m happy to see, but those who are make the rest of us dread running into you and your ill-behaved brood in public. To say that childfree people are not entitled to discuss universal issues such as TIREDNESS or public health issues such as IMMUNIZATIONS is arrogant and narrow-minded. You don’t wanna hear about our nieces/nephews or how tired we are today? We don’t want to hear about your episiotomies or how many times your progeny shit in a human toilet today. Go join a mommy commune where you don’t have to be inconvenienced by the lives of those who were enlightened enough not to procreate.

  100. Molly says:

    Are you f&*@ing kidding me…

    You feel entitled to praise about your crotchfruit, yet you wish ill on other people? You feel sorry for their children and wish them a difficult child? I’m sorry, mommyfriend, but after reading this article of fail, the only thing I got from this is that you’re a Grade A anal bead. I feel sorry for your progeny, having such a self-righteous, self-centered, and sanctimonious butt polyp for a mother. You’re the reason childfree people like me hate breeders.

    Do the world a favor. Don’t breed anymore. We don’t need any more awful human beings like you in the world.

  101. Liz says:

    agree with Maria above. the spitefulness of the commenters comes out loud and strong. Parents don’t always make good choices, but trying to give them advice when you haven’t walked a mile in their moccasins is often just annoying, not helpful. Also agree with the other sensible poster who mentioned all these people who have better ideas about running the country when they aren’t in the hot seat themselves and don’t have that perspective. I have found that childless people have these ridiculous ideas of the way children and parenting “should” be. It’s one of those things like flying a plane – you don’t know what it is until you are doing it yourself.

  102. Marina says:

    “I’d like to hear something redeeming.”
    Why? I don’t know your kids, and if I did, I would despise them for being raised by such a stupid, condescending mother. I love to break it to you- the world does NOT revolve around your kids! The only one that gives two craps about your kids is you, the most inconsiderate, snobby, mommyblogger ever!

    “I feel bad for your future kids.” What future kids!? Hello, isn’t this article is supposed to be directed at people who don’t want kids!?

    “You’re tired? Wow, how very unfortunate. I’m sure sleeping through the night uninterrupted and waking up at noonon Saturday must be really hard for you.”
    Um, hello. We childfree people have JOBS, unlike you, a bitchy stay-at-home mom who thinks she has the toughest life ever just because she has kids amd thinks she’s entitled to be lazy. In fact, it actually sounds like she’s jealous of us childfree people.

    This is the reason why we despise mommybloggers, and this is the worst kind there is- a snobby, bitter, spiteful, jealous, arrogant woman who thinks the world revolves around her and her children. I feel bad for her children; they’re probably going to grow up to be lazy, selfish, disgusting people everyone hates- just like this sick… THING that wrote this article.

  103. Marina says:

    THANK YOU, KRISA!
    Like, seriously.
    “I’d like to hear something redeeming.”
    Why? If your kids are obnoxious little berks, I sure don’t want to praise them, not that I would, anyways, seeing how they’ve been raised by an arrogant, snobby woman who thinks her kids determine the fate of the entire universe.
    And then she acts like she’s the only person on the face of the earth just because she has kids? Hmm, let’s see. Childfree people have JOBS. Yeah, JOBS. We actually have to lift our butt off of the bed 5 days a week and work for 8 hours. Her? Nope, she’s a lazy, obnoxious mommyblogger who’s a stay-at-home mom because she thinks adding a couple people to an already-overcrowded world is a good enough accomplishment and that she’s entitled to call herself the hardest-working person ever.
    “I feel bad for your future kids.”
    What future kids? Last time I checked, this was directed at people who DON’T. WANT. CHILDREN. If this… THING who wrote this article has nothing smart to say, SHE’s the one who’d better shut the %$#@ up!
    All in all, I wish I had the IQ of an almond so that I could sympathize with her plight.

  104. Mavis says:

    Just further confirmation the parenting is not for me. I’d rather live out my days as an eccentric cat lady before I succommed to a life of dreadful resentment and self-loathing as described in this post. Parenting has never been more unattractively portrayed. If those of us who are childless complain too much about being tired, perhaps it’s pious wretches like the write of this post of whom we tire.

  105. A.Roddy says:

    I know this is an old post, but I agree with others about it being spiteful and hurtful especially to those childless by circumstance. It seems the blogger’s self-worth is only in her ability to reproduce. Birthing a child means nothing. Take a look in foster homes.You can see passing a baby through a body part means nothing. You are not more special because you did so. Excuse me, yes childless have a right to comment on parenting. After all they were kids once. We were all kids once. Why do parents get to criticize childless, but not the other way around. I hope this sanctitmommy looks inside herself.

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