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Dear Salespeople, Stop Being Overly Friendly to My Kid

I’m all for friendly, but lately I’ve noticed an influx of overly friendly types in sales positions. I know they want my business, but sucking up to my kids is not the way to get it.

My family and I recently headed to our local department store to look at patio furniture. The salesperson came by, introduced herself, and then proceeded to try and convince my 9-year-old that this patio set would be perfect for his family. Mmkay… lady, unless you expect to be paid in adorableness, I suggest you pay attention to me — ya know, the one with the cash money.

It took every bit of personal will to decide to purchase the patio set in spite of her ridiculous sales tactic but the price was right and cash is king. As she led us to the register, she reached out to hold my kid’s hand and said, “Come on Honey, the register is this way.” You have got to be kidding me! How about you lead me to the register; he will follow. And no, we don’t need to hold hands. I stopped short of the register, grabbed my kid’s hand in a most deliberately indignant fashion and said, “Ya know what? I changed my mind!” Screw that.

Sucking up to my kids in an attempt to win over their consumer parents is nothing new. Ever try buying a car? You’ll practically have to beg the salesperson to stop kissing your kid’s ass.

While I’ve never been in sales, I’ve been a consumer long enough to know that people respond to authenticity, great service, and knowledge. Offer me this trifecta of awesomeness and I’m sold. You don’t need to be my kid’s best friend. In fact, the parents and children of the world unanimously wish you wouldn’t.

How do you feel to salespeople kissing up to your kid?

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