I’m a man, but I don’t think I’m “a man,” as the media would describe me.
I get squirmish trying to unhook fish when my son catches them, I can’t change my own oil, I like to BBQ, but I’m not really good at it.
I do the groceries, my wife asks me for fashion advice, and I’m cool if a Monday on the couch involves two hours of “The Women Tell All” on The Bachelor.
Am I a “sensitive” man? A “modern” man? A “metrosexual” man? Nah, I’m just me.
But wander in to any big book store this week and you’ll be greeted with a table of books that proclaim the neanderthal-ness of those of us blessed with XY chromosomes.
Any man worried about his manliness is probably so manly that he doesn’t read. Nonetheless, these books will try to bait you on what it means to be a man. Their themes are simple and obvious: men only care about beer, and meat, we’re also stupid, and lazy.
Such tired themes, really. Skip 6 of them, buy 1.
Eat Like A Man 1 of 8This, apparently, is the only cookbook a man will ever need. So the cover claims. Note the cover also doesn't have utensils. Accord to Esquire, men like steak, and we eat it with our hands.
Living The 7 Manly Virtues 2 of 8I'm not allowed to read Fifty Shades of Grey, and you're not allowed to read this one. They're manly virtues only.
How To Cook Like A Man 3 of 8Men are not pigs, we're neanderthals.
Details Men’s Style Manual 4 of 8I'm not saying this is a bad book for Father's Day because gay men read Details, because there are gay dads out there who probably read Details. I'm just saying, if they know about this book, and want it, they've already bought it for themselves.
Cooking With Beer 5 of 8If there's liquid in a recipe, it might as well be beer. Unless, of course, you're making pancakes for your kids on Sunday morning.
Beer Tasting Tool Kit 6 of 8Is there a picture of a mouth inside the book? That's the only tool kit I need to taste beer.
Dirty Jokes Every Man Should Know 7 of 8Let me guess, there once was a man from Nantucket.
Father’s Day 8 of 8My name is Buzz. My son's name is Zacharie. The author of this book's name is Buzz. His son's name is Zach. That's reason enough for me to want to read it, but I think other Dad's out there will appreciate Bissinger's road trip with his savant son to see life through his eyes.
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