Funny Things Kids Say

Just Wait a Few Years

My two-year-old told me and my in-laws that she wanted Santa to bring her a tampon. I asked her to repeat it, figuring that couldn't possibly be what she said, and she repeated it ... "like Mommy!"

— Submitted by Jennifer

Can’t Win ’Em All, Santa

When one of my sons was about two-and-a-half, we went to see Santa at the mall. We waited in line, he finally went up, crawled on Santa’s lap, and very loudly said to me, "Mommy, Santa is creepy!”

— Submitted by Heidi

No Snow Here

Last year we visited my parents in Surrey for Christmas, and my son was just three. He was used to three feet of snow at home, and when we got to their house he said, "Look, Mummy, they have Christmas grass!"

— Submitted by Kathleen

No Potty-Training at the Inn

My five-year-old son was checking out the porcelain baby Jesus and said, "That Savior still pees in his pants!"

— Submitted by Erica

You Better Watch Out!

I’m a nurse, and I told my six-year-old son that I gave Santa a shot while at work. Now, my son has asked four different Santas if the shot I gave him hurt. They look at me like I'm insane.

— Submitted by Bri

Comparatively Speaking

My two-and-a-half-year-old son said, "Santa is fat like Papa!" right in front of my dad.

— Submitted by Kate

The North Pole Must Be a Big Place

My four-year-old wanted a dress she saw on a cartoon character. I told her that dress wasn't real because it was a cartoon. Her response? "Santa has EVERYTHING. He can bring it
to me."

— Submitted by Shanna

Ho Ho … Oh, Boy

My daughter is 16-months-old and whenever she sees Santa in person or on something, she yells very loudly, “HO HOOOOOOO!” She doesn't care where we are, either.

— Submitted by Margaret

And the Award for Most Morbid Three-year-old Goes to …

I pointed out an inflatable Santa to my three-year-old, and she said, "He's going to climb down our tree, and he's gonna die!"

— Submitted by Mila

Little Elves, Big Toys

My 4-year-old has been asking for every toy on TV for the last few months. I kept saying, "You have to ask Santa" or "Christmas is coming." There was a commercial for Squishies (the little ½-inch action figures) and as soon as he said he wanted those, he put his hand over my mouth and said, "Santa doesn’t bring toys that little. We have to go to the store and buy them."

— Submitted by Sarah

Future Walmart Commercial?

We told my kids that Santa was going to Walmart on Christmas to pick up their layaway toys so he could wrap them and bring them to our house. So the whole time we shopped and got their toys picked out, my 3-year-old daughter was singing, "Walmart — layaway — for Christmas — yea!”

— Submitted by Kristie

Nice Try, Kid

My teenager asking for a laptop for Christmas .... THAT’S funny!

— Submitted by Jessica

Just Checking

My son had to write a letter to Japanese Santa to ask for his Super Pirate Ranger Sentai toy. Now he insists he must talk to every Santa we see to make sure he got the letter.

— Submitted by Dyck

The Walking Greeting Card

My three-year-old sees holiday lights and yells, "It looks like Merry Christmas!" Every single time.

— Submitted by Robin