If you’ve been reading Babble Kids over the last few weeks you know the blog and the world at large has gone crazy over Buzz’s post Admit It, You Have a Favorite Kid. I Do.
I’ve written about having a favorite kid before where I told you my favorite was the one who was bothering me the least at that moment. To quote myself, “On the rare occasion I have two well-behaved human children, my love multiplies, never divides.” The post didn’t get a lot of attention, presumably because readers agreed, or didn’t agree, or didn’t read it…whatever.
As a mom, I feel as though I spread the love pretty equally so when I received the following email, I freaked the freak out:
Dear Lori Mommyfriend,
I’ve been reading you for a long time because I like you and think you’re funny. I just wanted you to know that I noticed something you might want to be aware of. You write about your older son a lot more than your younger son. Someday your kids are going to read your blog and it’s going to make your younger son feel like he wasn’t your favorite. You should know that. If I noticed, I bet other readers did too. Keep writing good stuff and don’t forget about your younger son.
OK listen, nothing gives me greater joy than an email from a reader. I don’t usually (or ever actually) publish emails I receive but I feel the need to respond to this one in a very public fashion.
I don’t have a favorite child. I love my kids in the exact same and yet totally different ways if that makes any sense at all.
Sure, there have been times I’ve felt closer to one than the other for whatever particular reason, but both kids occupy equal real estate in my heart.
I thought long and hard about the reader’s email and proceeded to rummage through my extensive blog archive (>700 posts, y’all). In the end I realized the reader was a little bit right. I have written more about Boy Wonder, but there’s a reason for that – he’s my firstborn.
I’ve taken more pictures and video of Boy Wonder, finished his baby book, and even saved his first lock of hair. While I adore BooBoo with all the love my heart can muster, he hasn’t gotten the same treatment. Once he came along I had two kids to collect mementos for, two kids to care for, and yes, two kids to write about. But the experiences I’ve shared about Boy Wonder have been my way of navigating through uncharted territory. Blogging about these new phases and challenges is how I seek answers, process what’s happening, and ultimately find my way as a parent. While I do the same with BooBoo, it’s generally only when faced with new challenges or situations I haven’t yet experienced.
I don’t love BooBoo less, not by a long shot. As BooBoo grows and undoubtedly challenges me in ways unique to Boy Wonder, I’ll write more about him. I’ll also write about him when I have something public to share, but writing about him for the sake of all things being equal is hardly inspired writing.
As much as it might seem that a reader knows all there is to know about a blogger and her family, I can assure you we keep plenty to ourselves. BooBoo is my baby, my last child, my love bug. With more spirit, imagination, and human warmth of anyone I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet, BooBoo is my son. My very, very loved son.
I don’t play favorites. Love is not a competition.
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