There was a time not long after we were married that I had a plaguing anxiety constantly in my mind. Before we married we talked a lot about family — when we would expand ours, how many kids we think we would want and talked about the basics of parenting.
Before I married you I knew I wanted you to be the father of my kids. I knew you would be the perfect partner in the crazy world of parenting. I knew that you would lift up where I came short and I knew you would be the man I wanted my kids to look up to.
That anxiety that plagued me — accompanied a terrible feeling that I would never bring you to Fatherhood. We had our first two miscarriages and I worried that I would never be able to carry your children. You were a father in that moment as you held my shaking body as I grieved our losses. You showed me in that moment that you were meant to be a Father.
You never gave up on me as we continued to battle miscarriage after miscarriage, heartache I never wished for you. You never wavered in your support and love for me and our children that we never got to hold. Our first full-term child was born and I saw your heart swell like I never thought possible. You loved him from that instant — even when it took me a little longer. I saw you grow up before my eyes and take on this new role of ‘Father’. You worked harder, you loved stronger and you fought with me to grow our family — through the pain and happiness.
Our son will see through you what it means to work hard for your family. That it is okay to show emotion, that it is okay to cry, get angry and laugh. He will learn how to treat women, how to work for what you want and how to find fun in the small things.
Our daughters are learning through you how a man should treat them. They are seeing that a strong man means more than just muscles — it means showing happiness, sadness and pure laughter. They are learning to try and try even if it doesn’t work the first time and to never give up on their dreams.
We have been through a lot in our marriage and in our journey to become parents. You have held my hand, you have kissed the bruises of our children, you have run around like a crazy person to give them a laugh. You have held them as they cried, you have disciplined when needed and always shown them that you will always be here for support, believing in them no matter what.
I would never have survived all the pain and joy if it wasn’t for you by my side. My children are so lucky to have you guide them through life and I am thankful I can call you my ‘baby daddy’.
Thank you for being the best Father and for giving me Motherhood and the world
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Photo credit: Devan McGuinness