How I Scared My Kids With a Fanciful Valentine's Day Creation


heartmanSome mothering moments are less pinnable than others.

In retrospect, I guess you could say it was a mistake. I don’t know what came over me in February a few years ago when my kids came home from school with a cache of cards and candy to dump, sort, and fight over.

I was in a pretty good mood, the odd mini-pack of Junior Mints being tossed my way, so I spontaneously started singing a song I made up about Heart Man while the kids unloaded their Valentines.

It’s kind of a scary song—all minor chords—and I make my voice sort of evil when I sing it. You know, just some light-hearted holiday fun: “Heart Man, he comes in the night. Heart Man, you’ll put up a fight.” And then you say “slice!” with accompanying hand actions across your throat.

The kids were asking me all about Heart Man and I was thinking that it really is fun to be with your kids and just talk and be creative. But uh, as it turns out—as I would find out at bedtime—they were actually quite frightened by my charming incarnation and at least one of my kids has had nightmares about Heart Man. We still like to sing it and talk about him.

You hear about how J.R.R.R. Tolkien told stories about hobbits to his childen at bedtime and everyone thinks it’s so cute. How about someone signs ME up for a multi-film deal with Peter Jackson for Heart Man? Or maybe a Law and Order SVU episode?

Read more of my writing at Babble and at my blog, Every Day I Write the Book.