How Much is Too Much to Spend on the Kids at Christmas?
You don’t have to say a number (unless you really want to, and then I’m all ears), but I would love to know where other families draw the line on gift giving. My husband comes from a family that is wild about the holidays. Passing out the dozens of brightly wrapped gifts his family collects under their tree each year stops just short of requiring the stamina of a long distance runner. I spent my first Christmas with them, mouth agape, silently wondering how many forests had been leveled in order to produce that much gift wrap. It all seemed a little over the top compared to what I was used to.
Don’t get me wrong. My family’s approach to the holidays would not be considered frugal by any stretch of the imagination. My sisters and I were never disappointed on Christmas morning, but my parents were also in the habit of buying us the things we desired throughout the year as we earned them or as an occasional treat. Perhaps this made our list a little less lengthy at year’s end? It was typical for each of us to receive three gifts or so.
Our difference in upbringing has led to a bit of disagreement between my husband and I when it comes to celebrating with our own children. I think our kids should have no more than a handful of gifts, while my husband wants to recreate FAO Schwarz in our living room. For the time being it is easy enough to come to an agreement. The toys our children ask for are not very expensive and so we can afford to buy more of them. This satisfies my requirement that we remain on a budget and not use credit to purchase gifts and my husband’s desire to have tons of gifts for them to open.
However, I see this solution as short term. As our children grow, I suspect their taste in gifts will become more expensive. The price of one iPod touch, for instance, would buy 10 Batman action figures. When we reach that stage, I know I will be perfectly okay with our children finding one gift under the tree on Christmas morning, but will my husband?
Of course, cost isn’t the only issue I have. There’s also the standard worry as a parent that we are spoiling our children by giving into too many of their demands.
How do you decide how much is too much for your children at Christmas time? Do you have a number of gifts or a dollar amount you are willing to spend?
More on Babble: 17 Hilarious Letters to Santa Written by Children
My daughter (age 3) gets one gift from Santa and one from us parents, in large part because we’re broke. I think when we’re less broke we will probably aim for about 3-5 presents a kid (hoping she has siblings) because that seems reasonable to me and will be a great increase from what she’s used to now.
We limit ourselves to 3 gifts from Santa (something to read, something to wear, something to play with), and one special gift from mom + dad. I’m not sure if we save TOO much money (considering we only have one kid) because we’re able to buy more special presents than a bunch of gifts to fill under the tree. I also don’t want him to expect an overwhelming amount of presents every year, only to inevitably be disappointed. I think setting a predictable limit might be a good thing. It also helps keep costs down! (We do fill the stocking with a few small things, too, so we’re not quite as frugal as I had hoped. But it’s hard!)
We limit the gifts by the allotted amount of money. So let’s say we decide that this year, each child has a limit of $500.00. Well, depending on their requests, it could be a few presents or a lot of presents….. I was raised in a family with five children and a single parent so my mother had a budget. She was pretty fair about it. Every once in a while, one kid might get one big thing out of necessity, but otherwise, she kept to her budget.
My husband’s family is like your husband’s family. My family is MUCH more frugal because they have to be. I bought the boys a ‘big gift’ each that will be from Santa (about 60 – 70 dollars) and I bought them a smaller gift from us plus stocking stuff (I did juice boxes, Kinders, mini cereals – Fruit Loops is a ‘treat’ for them – toothbrushes, toothpaste, bubble bath, silly putty and a couple other goofy gifts) which adds up to probably about 75 dollars each. I figure the grander you go when their younger the more they’ll anticipate getting as they get older – and it won’t get any cheaper!
My husband comes from a family that always did the big Christmas day thing. My mom and I went low key even so far as getting one or two gifts we knew we really wanted opening them at midnight on the 25. And sleeping till 3 on Xmas day. Turns out even if you don’t get up at 6am presents are still fun. With our kids we do go over the top a wee bit. Figuring on 1000.00 per kid. It goes farther with the 15mo then 18 yo for sure.
I really like the idea of something to read, something to wear, something they need, and a surprise. .. but we haven’t started that yet. We don’t get them a lot except at birthdays and Christmas. We scaled back this year, but I know we could even more.
Christmas at my house this year is going to be a little different I have a 8 year old and a 5 year old in previous years my house was crazy with tons of gifts under the tree (about 25-30 for each of them) but this year my boys wanted a ds and a psp 3000 and games for those are from 20-50 each and they seem to want the 50 dollar ones lol, so this year they got clothes their game systems games and maybe 5 toys so all in all they each have about 15 things and most in small boxes but hey they got everything they asked for but the look when they come in the living room may not be what they are used to. I hope everyone has a great holiday:-)
I am a little shocked honestly to see money numbers reaching the thousands. I thought I was a bad parent at one point for wanting to be frugal. When my second son reached age 2 and starting actually wanting things, I realized that they would pick a few toys out of the things we got them and hang on to them all year. Thus, leaving the others in the land of misfit toys. I made it a point last year to call it quits on taking the guilt trip, and to start teaching them to appreciate what they have gotten, and what they may get. So last year I taught my boys about donating the toys that are still in good shape to the local rescue missions, teaching them that its not always about what they can get, but rather what they can give. They got excited about giving their toys away, and understanding other kids could enjoy them. So this year, its one big gift ranging from 50-70 dollars, and then maybe 4-5 smaller gifts usually ranging 20-25 dollars with a grand total no more than $350 for both of them together. This leaves me room to give other family members nice gifts as well.
We also do just one big gift from Santa and all the others are from mom and dad. Truth is, I want the credit for getting my daughter what she wants. We spend what we can, some years we can spend more, some years less, but we always make sure that it’s not just about what our daughter get’s but also about spreading love and good cheer, helping those in greater need than ourselves and enjoying the time we have with those we love. This year has been good to us, last year was not. This year we have spent about $600, for one child and two adults, last year we had $150 for everyone. But in all fairness we also bought a new tree this year, and that cost $145 by it’s self. We also have her pick out one boy toy and one girl toy that she donates to toys for tots every year, and she really loves the idea that she get’s to play Santa to children she doesn’t know. She has a wonderful heart and loves to give as much as she receives so I try to support that, while also meeting her desires. We have never done a Huge Christmas, but they are not shabby either, even if I have to get everything from Big Lots and the Dollar Store!
This year the kids are older (10, 13, 22 and 25) so one big gift for each, pajamas which are a tradition and something for them from Santa if they are under 18. iPhone, Kinect, Ihome boxes, video games and Groupon certificates are on my list this year. The older they get the less they need at Christmas as they get it throughout the year.
I like your idea. I have no little ones at home. No money either. When the boys were little we did not have all the electric stuff that cost so much. They got 1 big gift and stocking stuff from Santa. And a few from me. Now they are blessed if I can get them 1 thing. This year I am making every one cookies. Except the baby. I bought him 2 small toys. He don’t have many, & at 3 months he is starting to play.
Oh we also have a rule, Nothing you NEED for Christmas or Birthday’s. That means clothes, books, shoes, etc, etc. We believe if it’s something you need it should be gotten, gifts should be what you want. That’s just how we do it though, to each their own
Wow. Times are tough and my heart is always bigger than my wallet. I would love to shower my kids with tons of toys and presents. However, I remember that my son is 3 1/2 and my daughter is only 8 months old. They are getting one toy from Santa, 2 toys from us each. We will also give them a few snacks and silly things in their stockings and a few items of clothes. I think in all, about $300 for them combined. I know my husband and I were only children – he was spoiled rotten, and I was well taken care of, on a budget. Now that we have kids, we are trying to create more memories and fun, rather than stuff. Merry Christmas.
wow after reading this i feel a little bad for my kiddos. we have a much smaller christmas for our kids. we are a young family and while the kids are little we dont believe in going over board on christmas. its not about spending $1000′s on gifts, its about spending time together and making memories. we do get things the kids NEED. we try to follow the buy something you NEED, something you WANT, and something to READ from mom and dad. Then get a santa gift, but santa mainly does the stocking and then there are gifts from the grandparents that we are lucky enough to get a say in. for two adults and two kids we have spent $300.
We set a dollar amount limit, and my older step kids understand that if you ask for something expensive, it’s all you’re gonna get (one just turned 18 and the other 21, but they’ve been aware of this for years). The youngest of my step kids is 12, and he’s just now having to be told this, because $100 buys a lot of action figures and such. He’s always have twice the presents (or more) than his older siblings, because his cost so much less. I mean, when a kid asks for an X-Box, that’s all he gets. With the new baby, who is 6 months on Christmas, we’re setting a present # limit for now, but as she gets older it will change to a dollar amount limit. Of course, as long as you take a pic with Santa, you get a present for him (talk about funny, we’ve got pics with a 19 yr old, a 16 yr old, and a 10 yr old with the mall Santa)
As far as things they NEED go, they get them IF they’re asked for. If a kid WANTS a pair of sneakers or new jeans then you get them, but again, ONLY if they’re on the kid’s list.
i am torn both ways when i was younger my sister and i hardly had a christmas if u could even call it that and i didnt want my kids to feel like i did on christmas morning i have a 5 yr old and a 3 month old so its not hard to buy many gifts for not much money but my husband on the other hand and nice christmas’ growing up and sets a spending limit for gifts. this year he is deployed for the second time and my 5 yr old is haveing a little trouble so i did get him a little extra this year to try to make him feel a little better
I AM FRUGAL. Especially with gifts. This year my daughter’s limit is $150. I figure that it’s like Christmas for her throughout a year, big or small toys whether or not she earned it. She usually gets what she WANTS before Christmas because she knows to how to sweet talk DADDY to “look” at the toy collection in WalMart each visit and her birthday is the month before. This Christmas, her letter to Santa asks for a pink belt, a pink crayon, and pink bubbles. Super! I replaced the stocking stuffers with 25 days of Christmas where she gets to open a CHEAP present (less than $1 or a toy she already has that she forgot about) each day (under he own miniature Christmas tree) which includes a post-it note describing what Christmas-related activity we’ll be doing that day. It ends up costing more, but at the same time I can teach her the meaning of family and giving.
We donate at least as much in toys as we give to ours. So, if we have a total of $1000 to spend on kids, one-half will be divided between our children, and the other half goes to Toys for Toys. Christmas is about giving, not receiving. I am from a family who treated Christmas as a failure if every single thing you could possibly asked for wasn’t received, and I don’t want to do that to my kids.
One thing I found that helps our bank account (and to be fair- with 3 boys who being different ages the toys they want vary in price ranges but I want the amount I spend as well as the amount they have to open to be the same across the board) and fairness, is to buy the majior things they want and then with the older one who’s toys are most pricey ill go to the doller store and buy enough toys to make the amount of toys they all have the same. Its keeps our budget down and makes it fair how much everyone got!
My husband and I have 2 girls 3.5 and 2.5 and we have a limit of 150 per child. With all the things they wanted they ended up with 16 things each. They got everything from their lists. Once they get older this will change as presents for teenagers are more expensive. My family has always done Christmas big as well as my husbands family.