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If It's OK With You, I'll Just Keep Hugging

Dear Boy Wonder, 

You’re 10 now and 10 is like, big. Even with my spotty memory, I remember being 10 years old. I knew that I was just a kid according to the world around me, but inside I was so much more. 

And so are you. 

You’re more than just a kid who asks questions I don’t know how to answer, more than a boy who doesn’t understand my decisions. You’re a complete character with thoughts, ideas, quirks and dreams too big to be ignored. Indeed you were always that character; what I guess I’m trying to say is that I see it. And I like it. 

Kid, you challenge me in ways I still don’t quite understand, but I want to. I want to know and understand everything about the complex person you’re surely becoming. 

Long gone are the days of you snuggling in my open arms just because you wanted to. Long gone are the kisses and hand holds. While in my head I always knew the snuggles couldn’t last forever, my heart never realized you’d let go of my hand so soon.

If it’s OK with you, I’m still going to hug you. Sometimes I’m going to hold you tighter and longer than you want me to. You might not need the hugs, but I do. I hold on to the hope that maybe, just maybe you need them more than even you know sometimes. 

As you finish your last lap through childhood on the way to adolescence I won’t hold your hand, but if it’s OK with you I’ll never be more than a few steps behind. My loving arms will still be the same, even if their reach becomes shorter with each year you grow. 

If it’s OK with you I’ll still give you kisses when no one’s looking, stroke the hair from your eyes, and tell you that I love you. 

Son, the truth is that my world’s become a magical place for having you in it. Of all the things I have to look forward to in the coming years as your mother, the idea of the world uncovering the magic of you brings me the greatest joy. 

If it’s OK with you I’ll watch it happen with colossal pride with arms ever open. 

To the moon and back, Kid. 

Love,

Your mommy 

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