In Response to the Aurora, Colorado Shooting
Everyone is blogging and talking about the Aurora, Colorado shooting and now I shall. Yes, it was a midnight showing and there were kids in the movie theater. One was just three-months-old. Everyone, gasp together. Would I take my three-month-old to a midnight movie? People, I can’t even remember the last time I saw an adult movie in the theater, but the answer is no, I wouldn’t take JD to a midnight movie. But guess what? I wouldn’t assume we’d get gunned down at a movie theater if I did. I take him to inappropriate places all the time. I do this because I have to. The good news is that the 3-month-old has actually been discharged home from the hospital. Praise Jesus.
It’s survival of the fittest, here. Ann Curry said something so eloquent tonight as JD and I ate linguini primavera at a table set for two. And a superhero figure. Something along the lines of the parents being young and needing a break and wanting to get out. Probably not having a sitter. Curry reported the kids were sleeping on their parents. I really get these parents. I know what it’s like to want to go out but not have a sitter. Hi, I’m blogging and drinking wine alone on a Friday night. JD is sleeping. These parents are not bad. They are bada*s. They are bold. They are human. They wanted to see a movie. They went. They didn’t go on a crack run in a shady neighborhood and leave their babies alone in the car.
We actually went to the movies on Thursday. Just JD and me. I worked a half-day. He wanted to see Disney’s Brave and it was rainy. Perfect day. Needed to kill time and what do you know, the movie really spoke to me. It was more about the relationship a child has with their mom than anything else. I cried. Gorgeous.
We got to the theater at 10:40 AM and bought tickets for the 11 AM showing. I had a bag of drinks concealed in my purse (read: REBEL). JD handed the tickets over to the older gentleman and I bought us a six dollar bag of popcorn—cha-ching. We held hands and walked around the theater, stopping to take pics by the Brave decor (obvi).
It was pretty quiet except for a few other moms and kids. I grabbed a booster seat and we headed into the Brave theater. We were the only people in the theater. It was … eerie at best. Dark. Quiet. We watched the previews and two older women, no kids came in. One woman coughed loudly. She seemed sick. It seemed like a sick, wet cough. I kept thinking this lady better not get JD sick even though she was sitting in the last row far away from us. We watched the movie. JD peed twice. He moved from the booster to my lap and back again. He ate crackers, popcorn and drank three juice boxes.
That was my biggest concern. A coughing woman getting my kid sick. It never in my wildest dreams occurred to me that some lunatic could burst into the theater and shoot us. But it should have. It should have, really, because horrific things like this happen every, single day and we are not safe. Our kids are not safe. I am not playing this up. This is real life. I am for real. We’re not safe. We’re just getting by. All of us. Fate has us by the throats. I feel out of control.
I remember Columbine like it was yesterday. I was a senior in high school. We got to leave campus for lunch. Instead of going to the bagel store or pizza place with my girls, I decided to go home to my house alone. My dog, Brandy, greeted me at the door. I took her out. We came inside and I made a ham and cheese sandwich on toast. I fed Brandy the crusts. There was a giant wooden spoon and fork on the yellow painted kitchen walls. The house was empty. The windows were open. It was spring. The leaves on the trees shhhhh’ed with the wind. I loved that sound. So many trees in my yard. I turned the TV on. It was a chunky, black square TV on the counter. I watched kids my age run and scatter from that school building. I listened to the news. I saw a kid fall from a window and two policemen attempt to catch him. He was bloody. It was horrific. I cried. Brandy was at my feet. I fed her the rest of my sandwich, sick to my stomach. I called my parents. I called Carlo. He was at Monmouth University. Bri was stuck in the cafeteria back at Wayne Valley. It was his birthday. I drove back down the hill to school. I walked cautiously in. I had Child Development class. I told my teacher. She hadn’t heard. She believed me, but looked like she didn’t believe me. Because people don’t want to believe sh*t like this happens. But it does. And we can’t prepare for it. It’s fight or flight. It’s fate.
We can eat our vegetables. Say our prayers. Wash our hands. Send our kids to expensive, private schools, make nice with the co-parent, pay our mortgage on time, let someone in during a traffic jam, and help our neighbor carry her groceries upstairs — and this is all great — but we can’t stop the psycho from shooting us or our kids in the head, because he’s a f*cking psycho. Life is a gift. Only this moment is certain. Love the people you love and love them right now. I’m certain of this moment. My fingers on the keys, tap, tap, tap. The sweet wine in my mouth. The pictures of my baby on the wall. The bad breakup doesn’t matter. The awesome book review in the NYT is silly. The money in the bank is a flipping joke at best. I’m happy to be breathing. My kid is breathing. Wake up world.
That’s what I know. That’s what I believe.
RIP victims. God bless your souls. Peace be with your families.
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That’s cool that you got a review in the New York Times. Thanks for reminding us.
Thanks Gina! Hanging in my office. Father’s Day 2009.
We live in scary times now, or maybe we always have and I am older and realize it more. Anyway, I agree that no matter what time that we have our kids out we should not have to worry about some crazy nut. I have to admit though, I think about it alot. I have become a little paranoid about it now and that is why I don’t go out much at night anymore. As someone commented before this was beautifully wrote. My thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the victims of this senseless, senseless act.
it was thoughtless to take the little ones to the movie. i don’t want to hear crying babies/fussing children in an adult theater. if the kids fuss etc at a kids movie, i don’t really care, and expect it. but have a little consideration for others. it isn’t just YOUR date night, its the date night of a couple hundred other people as well. as for taking your child to your appointments; your business because it only has to potential to disrupt you.
Umm…unless I misinterpreted what you wrote (which is a possibility), you’re saying that we should live our lives in constant fear? Because I don’t believe that at all. I refuse to live in fear. I also strongly believe that the crime rate ratio is pretty much the same as it was 50-60 years ago, the difference is that nowadays we are much more aware of it and we have a much bigger population now than we did all those years ago. What happened in CO was devastating, yes and it really could happen to anyone, but that’s not going to change the way I live my life.
Ryanne, the takeaway is to live in the moment and love life because no one knows what’s next. In my 31 years I have been fine 1 second – then poof, EVERYTHING changes the next.I don’t live in fear, but I’m not obliv to the fact that bad sh*t happens and this is sh*t, I can’t prevent (I have been through personal tragedy). If I lived in fear I wouldn’t have taken JD on a 12 hr flight to Hawaii, because, you know, planes crash. The point here is – live, laugh, love – the next moment is not yours. Enjoy the weekend xo
Momma Says, I would not take JD to a night screening. In fact, I didn’t allow my bro to take him to an 8 pm Yankees game because I knew he would meltdown and fall asleep by 8:30 pm. The fact is parents make choose their own choices and we shouldn’t be judging this young couple – we should be supporting them. Curry said both kids were sleeping. Maybe they were just having an **adventurous, let’s be czy and young** moment and take our kids to a movie. Today, I’m packing a mommy and kid sleepover bag. I’m going to a community lake party. I might drink beers. That means an impromptu sleepover will occur at my friends’ home. Judge me. I drink and party. I’m a mom. We might stay up till 1 am.
Christine- no judging- you make your choices how you parent your kids. But when you take infants- especially very young ones who primitive reflexes- like the Moro startle- one that is subjective to either sudden movements or loud noises (LIKE IN A THEATER)- is not integrated at all yet- you choose to inflict the very possible screaming infant on everyone around you. I really don’t care when I see a 4 year old at the rated R movie with Mom or dad- their kid, their choice. But I better not hear squalling infants after forking out $10 a ticket, and refreshments, PLUS having procured the proper childcare for my own children.If there was a soundproof infant room- like they have n the back of older Catholic Churches- rock on.
Nicely said, Chrissi.
These parents brought their children to the movies not because their children would benefit from it but because the parents (their ages are in the targeted demo for the film) wanted to see it. If the parents were willing to fork over $20+ dollars for this late-night/early-morning outing, it should not be unreasonable to fork over the same amount of money for child-care. Finding a babysitter in Aurora is not that difficult (Google it). As much as I am for positive risk-taking, as long as it isn’t to the possible detriment of others in your responsibility, I can’t condone anybody taking their very-young children to a comparable event. It’s not a matter of safety, it’s a matter of responsibility and appropriateness.
Nicely written, Chrissy. I completely agree with everything you said. I really like that your article doesn’t focus on whether or not it was a good idea for parents to take their kids to the theatre at midnight. Too many people are caught up on that. I guess that’s most people’s way of dealing with this horrific nightmare. I think people have that mindset to just focus on the small details and/or blame the victim because then they can reason “if I do that then these bad things won’t happen to me.” Or people focus on the small details because they are so immune to this kind of violence in America that the only thing left to do is pick a part the victims. Either way, the entire situation is terribly sad. This world is in a pretty sad and pathetic state when kids can’t sit in high school or college classes without possibly being gunned down, and people can’t go to a theatre to enjoy one of America’s greatest past times without being killed.
While I am much more concerned about the lives that were lost, I do have to say that I highly disagree with you.
At some point you have to be a grown up and think, “Okay, it’s midnight. I may want to go see a movie, but my B-A-B-Y needs sleep and it’s a terrible idea to take them to a LOUD, CROWDED, VIOLENT, DARK movie.” It’s not badass or bold, it’s stupid and very child-like. And I’m not talking about the shooting, what they did was stupid regardless of whether or not there was a shooting. Of course they didn’t go there thinking they were going to get gunned down. And yes, thank god the baby is OK. My heart is very heavy for those who did not survive and those that were injured.
Lyn, I completly agree with you. I think that when you become a parent you need to grow up and always put your child’s well being first. Parenting is all about sacrifices. You have to put your silly, selfish acts away.
oh my god. i’m only a few paragraphs in and i’m not reading anymore. how can you call those parents “bad-ass”? it’s one thing to take a sleeping child to a movie when you need to get out. it’s another to take them to a midnight showing of a loud, violent, crowded movie. when you become a parent, single or not, you have to make trade-offs. you make sacrifices. you’ll get your beloved life back eventually. i’m not saying you need to halt everything and become a shut-in until your kids are in college, but show some common sense. i really cannot believe you wrote that. and then managed to work in a bit about your review in the Times. so appropriate. i’m done with this blog.
Thank you for these comments. God Bless the fallen and thank God the children who did attend the movie with their parents, regardless of what we think as a Babble.com community, are OK. They are OK. Something else I should have added – when JD was 3-months-old I was so freaking tired you couldn’t pay me to go to a midnight movie. #Bible.
Sorry Chrisie, can’t agree with you on this one. The parents were irresponsbile, they weren’t bada$$. Let’s put aside the fact that there was a killer there because, honestly, how would anyone know and that could happen at any time of the day. The fact that these parents took their 3 month-old and a 6 year-old to see a dark, violent, and scary movie such as Batman is irresponsible and selfish. Get a sitter. Wait for it to come out on DVD. These kids should have been home sleeping, not at a MIDNIGHT showing.
Your last paragraph gave me chills. Thank you.
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