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Is Finding Balance in Life A Myth or Obtainable?

I have this big goal for 2012 — not being the “resolution” type, this is kind of a first for me. I want to find balance in life, a good groove between all the things I have to do as an individual, a mom, wife, employee and human.

Big goal right? When I shared this goal with others I got the resounding “me too” and “good luck” and “that’s what we all want” responses from people. I started wondering if this goal I have set for myself was even attainable or if I am kidding myself and setting up for “failure” at the start of the year. Is there such a thing as ‘balance’ or do we all just spend too much time trying to do it all?

Ultimately I think it comes down to three things — for me, at least.

1.  I am a perfectionist so my standards of “balance” include having the most spotless house you’ve ever seen, gourmet-type meals 3 times a day, maintaining a good work flow and having kids who are constantly engaged (which, for the record I never achieve).

2.  I hate asking for help so with all that on my plate, plus more — I have this idea in my head that it’s all on me. Even though I am a work from home mom with three kids, two of which are in school only part time, and have no extra help around, I need to clear off my to-do list daily.

3.  I have to realize there is no one standard for balance and it’s always changing. How one person defines their balance may not be how I define mine and I have to realize that is okay. For me, balance may mean keeping everyone alive and getting the bare minimum done one week and kicking butt and getting everything on my to do list done the next month.

I wonder if it is possible to “have your cake and eat it too.” Can you have a balance that you are happy with, that you feel stable and comfortable in between self, motherhood, marriage, house and work? Do we expect too much of ourselves? I don’t think I would feel happy living a life without a little chaos. I do think it’s bad when I constantly tell myself that things will “calm down when all the kids are in school” or pretend that I am not constantly wishing for more time in the day.

I wish there was a subject in school about time management — starting in elementary school. I am beginning to wonder if it should be its own separate college degree …

:: Is finding that balance obtainable or is it like a mythical creature we will never see? ::

Read more from Devan on Accustomed ChaosUnspoken Grief
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