It seems like every time I go to the park or the school I hear how amazing so and so’s kids are. ”Clayburgh can recite the Pledge of Allegiance – backwards.” ”Amalfi can stand on her head for 4 minutes and she can’t even walk yet!” ”Eldon is fluent in Farsi.” I think these competi-parents must be watching too much YouTube, because every time I hop on there to show Adolpha, this little gem:
I am bombarded with the feats of amazing, unbelievable, awe-inspiring babies and children. Who needs the circus now that we have YouTube?
1. Baby Felicity. She can not only read at 1 year old, but she can read in both English and Chinese. If anyone knows anything about Chinese (which I do, of course), it is a very difficult language to read. Each character has to be memorized and the language has about 80,000 individual characters to memorize. Felicity seems like a very sweet girl and her parents are obviously working hard with her to start reading at such a young age. I guess that spot at Harvard will be taken. Gomer and Adolpha will have to go elsewhere.
2. Baby Makena. She can sing Adele. Yes, she can sing Adele. She is cute, has great style, can carry a tune and sings with real emotion! I wish I could sing as well as this kid. Hey Makena, when that cute 3 year old breaks your heart, don’t worry, just sing about it and make millions. You don’t need a man!
3. Baby Shakira. I think this one is my favorite! I don’t know the baby’s real name, but she can shake it like Shakira and she’s owning those curves of hers! I know my hips can never move like that. I love the head wear she is sporting. And I love the fact that the other kid in the video in the background couldn’t be bothered to even look up. She is obviously bored by the whole thing. Don’t be a hater little girl:
4. Giuliano Stroe. I am pretty sure no one else reading this can do what Giuliano does. A sideways pull up or push up. I can’t even hold myself up sideways, let alone do 30 pull ups. Giuliano holds many world records as the strongest kid. No doubt. If you watch all his videos, you will see that his dad works with him all the time and he loves it. Now if they only made a Xbox Kinnect game that can simulate the sideways push up, I bet I can get Gomer and Adolpha to crank out a few.
Be sure to read my daily rants at People I Want to Punch in the Throat where you’re sure to laugh and/or might be offended (it’s where you can find my R-rated rants).
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