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It’s Not About How Many Kids I Have, It’s About Having No Choice

It's Not About How Many Kids I Have, It's About Having No Choice In ThatIf you’ve been following my posts over on the Pregnancy channel, you will know that for the past 14 months my husband and I have been trying to conceive baby number four.

It’s not been working out like either of us had hoped and after finishing our 6th cycle of fertility medications, I am beginning to wonder if it will happen.

When it comes to kids and the size of a family, there are many people who like to push their opinions on you — even when they’re unwanted. We hear all the time people balking over how many kids the Duggar family has or people questioning why you only have one child. People like to make it their business over how many (or how little) kids a family contains.

I am a mother to three children and they, along with my husband, make us a pretty great family. They’re at an age where they are far more independent,  they go to school, they can get their own breakfast, and they don’t need to be watched 24/7. They are amazing and I love my family and, while three may sound like “enough” kids to other people, we know in our hearts that our family is not complete.

You may think that is crazy. You may think I am being “selfish” or “ungrateful” and believe me, I’ve been told those things time and time again since sharing my feelings about not being able to conceive another child easily. It’s so much more than that though and it’s more than just someone’s pointless opinion on the size of my family.

It’s about not having a choice in the matter. 

I believe we should all have the ability to make our own decision on what sized family works best for us. You can have 19 kids like the Duggars, have one child like Kate Beckinsale, or decide not to have any children like Portia de Rossi and Ellen. As long as we come at it with the best intentions, a lot of love and an ability to provide the basic needs, it should be an individual’s (or couple’s) choice.

When that choice is taken away due to infertility, illness or other factors — we don’t want to hear your opinion on what our heart wants. Family size is so personal and when that choice for what size your family is taken away, it hurts more than you’d know, unless it’s been taken from you too.

My kids want another sibling and trust me, they will still receive as much love (plus more) when and if it happens for us. So, please keep those opinions on family size to yourself.

Photo credit: adaped from iStockPhoto

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