JD's 5th Birthday In Pictures: Excess Party, Oh Yeah!!
JD had his karate fifth birthday party on Saturday! It was amazing!
Venue: $300
Pizza: $65
Balloons: $10
Favors: $35
Snacks and drinks: $25
Batman cupcake cake: $25
Karate class, eats, smiles and tattoos = FUN!!
JD’s face: PRICELESS
JD’s dad refused to help pay. Oh well! Mama prevailed, Read the 70+ comments!
Cute pics after the jump!
Mommy loves you, Jack Domenic. Happy 5th birthday. You are the love of my life. You are all of my reasons.
Big thanks to Poppy, Mema, Uncle Carlo, Uncle Bri, Karen and Auntie Jemma. Thanks for bringing cookies, sandwiches, extra soda and applying tattoos on insane kiddos [Jemma]
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More from me:
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: The Single Mom Edition
Who Watches Your Kids When You Go Out?
Single Mom Life: I Danced Till 4 AM and My Kid Got up at 6 AM
The pics are great! I’m so glad JD had an awesome party!!! I knew you would prevail, even without his help, cause you are an awesome mommy! Happy 5th Birthday Jack!
Amy, there’s no need to be a bitch. You’re a friend of Aaron and Alissa’s? Of course you would only know the story in which Aaron has told you. How do you know that everything he has said is the truth? That’s right, you don’t! As far as Christine’s father, he has nothing to do with any of this. It really doesn’t matter what you or anyone else says about Christine. She is the one raising HER son. You can defend Aaron all you want and make excuses that Aaron has tried to do the right thing. The right thing would to be a father to his child. And writing a check for support is NOT being a father.
As far as the birthday party…Christine did take responsibility for paying for it. She did what would make her son happy, that’s what mothers do. She is also the one that takes responsibility for everything else regarding JD.
Inquiring minds also want to know why you are even on her blog. So you can run back to Aaron & Alissa and tell them everything Christine writes?
Amy, Christine’s father is a fantastic loving man. If you take joy in a difficult and frightening time in the life of an entire family, that says a lot about your moral character. Christine never released Aaron or Alissa’s information, her readers found it on their own. She could have used his full name in the book and let everyone know who he is, and she never did so. She wants her child to know his siblings and his father-Aaron is the only reason that hasn’t happened
Also unless I’m mistaken, and you were present for Aaron and Christine’s relationship, you have no way of knowing whether or not it was a fling. Let me assure you that Christine does not want any romantic involvement with Aaron. He made the choice with Christine to have JD and to raise him (he was there when she took the pregnancy test), then he disappeared with no explanation. Let me assure you that if a man did that to you, you would be looking for answers as well. He NEVER offered to financially contribute to JD’s life, Christine had to take him to court. He is just as responsible for JD’s care and well-being as Christine is. Child support isn’t frivolous-it’s necessary. Aaron has always had the option to have visitation. He has made it clear to Christine he has no interest in meeting “THAT CHILD” as he so affectionately refers to JD in his texts and e-mails, which I have seen with my own eyes.
At the end of the day this isn’t about Aaron and Christine. It’s about Aaron being a man and giving love, affection, and care to ALL of his children.
Amy: first off I’ve never in my life met Christine but what she does by writing this blog and when she wrote that book has helped me deal with being a single mom. That’s why I keep reading her blogs and followed her from parenting to here babble. But what are you doing? talking about something SO personal about HER father and trying to explain something that has nothing to do with you? the relationship is between the FATHER OF THE CHILD and the CHILD and MOTHER OF THE CHILD you have nothing to do here or speak on behalf of someone. I get why you’re friends with them,only a person of such “carachter” as yourself would be associated with a guy who’s never met his child and doesn’t seem to care for it. I don’t even know or care to know if you have a kid or not,but you have no right to comment and make staments about a relationship that you have nothing to do with. I’m a big fan of Christine and I’m standing by her and trust me if you’re comment was aimed to make her feel bad it only reflects on you.
Amy or ” Alissa” what does Christie’s dad have to do with this catty bitch!
I find it so odd I am not bothered by Amy’s comments about my dad. I’ve been working on the essay for weeks and it will come out in the Fall. I guess knowing that I would reveal my dad’s hardships to the world is why I’m not bothered by “Amy’s” comments. I love my dad. He does everything for JD. Sometimes life sux and is like a Lifetime orig movie. But we all move on. And did anyone notice me and my dad are color coordinated in the pic above? So not planned. Kismet. xo
Christine, very sorry to hear about your father. I hope everything works out well for him. Just a question…are you legally allowed to mention Aaron by name on this blog? I know you have never used his last name but you mention that he lives in Indiana, and that obviously lead some of your reader to find his identity. I would hate for you to get into legal trouble!
I’m completely 100% unbiased blog reader fan…so much so that I had actually given up reading Babble because I really dislike all of the slideshows they make the blog readers post to keep their page counts counts up, but I’ve followed Chrissy from Glamour to Parenting … to Babble. Throughout this journey I’ve followed you to help understand my SIL better. She is a single mom raising her daughter alone. At first the father was half way involved. And they were actually married when she got pregnant, but things were rocky. Even in the hospital you could feel in the air that this guy was on his way out the door. By the time my niece was six months old, daddy was no where to be seen. My niece is starting kindergarten this year…same as JD! You’ve helped me understand so much!! When my husband travels for work I am not a TEMPORARY single parent. He might not be there to cook dinner in the evening but he stresses about the bills and I clean the bathrooms. And when your sick with strep throat what the heck do you do!?! My SIL needed a procedure done and my MIL was suppose to watch my niece but hurt her back. Of course without this blog we would have stepped in to help, but I really felt like I understood the gravity of the situation. And last month the time came when my daughter asked my niece, “where is your daddy?” It was unexpectedly very awkward! But I knew how to quickly explain that her daddy lived somewhere else and we moved on. Our next trip the library we picked up the book you recommended. AWESOME!! –I just wanted to explain this to you so that you knew you were helping people by sharing your story. I’m sure it’s not easy right now with all of this drama. I know you’ll prevail and I look forward to hearing about JD’s first day of school!
Hello, I would like to thank all of you for your support. This is not the first time a friend of theirs has reached out to me, but this is the first for a public forum – one that factors into my income that provides for JD. My family, especially Poppa Coppa truly appreciates your support. He is going through a very tough, complicated, matter in addition to battling serious health problems, i.e. he had surgery at Sloan Kettering – the world’s top Cancer hospital a few weeks ago and has been in remission since 2004. My family is strong. My dad is a rock and no matter what happens this Fall, he’ll have his family and especially his spit-fire daughter at his side. When I told my dad I was pregnant, he did not shame me, yell or make me feel less – he loved me and has loved JD from before he was born. Thank you again, my sweet readers – you have changed my life.
Amy,
I have never met Christine but have read her blog from the beginning and think she is fantastic! They may have had a one-night stand but Christine got pregnant and A was the father so he has a HUGE responsibility to JD! Leaving a child like he did is the worst possible thing a person can do. Shame on him and his wife for tolerating this behavior. Sorry he has to go court but life happens!!! In terms of the internet stalking I go onto Goggle all the time to look up people so I guess I’m a internet stalker?!
I thing you are the one that needs to grown up! Shame on you for taking their side. If this happened to you I would love to see how you react.
In my opinion Christin is the best mother in the world and JD is so lucky to have her!
Maria
All,
Christine Coppa has asked that we allow Amy’s comments to remain, despite they are in violation of the babble.com commenting guidelines that state we do not allow unduly hostile comments. We support Christine Coppa and all of our bloggers.
All,
Christine Coppa has asked that we allow Amy’s comments to remain, despite the fact that they’re in violation of the babble.com commenting guidelines that state we do not allow unduly hostile comments. We support Christine Coppa and all of our bloggers.
-Babble.com Editors
To Amy/Stepmother to JD:
JD is 5!!! It is time to let go and stop harboring the resentment his existence causes you to feel. How could Christine possibly still want your husband? She’s had him and found what is true character is (the hard way). The only reason you say this (and you don’t really believe it) is to keep your husband from having a relationship with his first born. You use this to control a situation you have no control over. Christine has moved on with her life and you should too. I’m sure you give your “wonderful” husband hell about his “mistake’. Stop. You won. You have him.
You should take the money your family didn’t spend on the birthday party and gifts and purchase airfare to NJ for a first meeting. Yes, it will be uncomfortable but in the long run you will feel better about your husband becoming a better person by being involved with ALL of his children.
Oh, and about Poppa Coppa….everyone has family who have made mistakes. Just ask Aaron.
Thanks for the support friends.
Great job on the party…What a fun idea. My boys are almost 6 and 3 – either of them would have gone gaga over this! Oh, and I’m in Minneapolis, and that much for a venue is nothing – and it’s worth every penny when you see their face!!
I wish Babble.com had an option to “like” a comment. “Like” Ed’s comment above.
@Tara, we party hard in NJ. #fact I know someone who had excess proposal, wedding, rooftop after party, honeymoon in Italy, while his infant son was living in a 1 bed apt and his single mom was working FT and dad wasn’t paying a DIME.
Ed, per usual, you RULE.
It looks like you guys had an awesome time! I held E’s 5th birthday on Sunday at a circus activity place. The kids swung through the air, walked a tightrope, bounced on trampolines etc. They had a great time and even some of the shyest kids really got into it. My costs were very similar to yours. When you live in a two bedroom condo (like both of us do) it’s not very practical to hold an at home party. Not only do I not have the space but I would probably end up spending more on carpet cleaning afterwards. So you either outsource or don’t have a party at all. E. looks forward to his birthday all year, so I don’t mind putting aside some $$ from a tax return to have one. Cheers to our boys growing up.
@Amy…Christine has never mentioned their last name. Ever. Thanks for putting it out there…can’t wait to see what this guy looks like!
Bravo Ed!! Wondering is she will answer..inquiring minds want to know…
Looks like an awesome party! I personally love big b-day bashes. I had a party for my oldest little one in a barn where the kids got to ride ponies, and it was one of the best days I can remember. I did have one friend make comments that she couldn’t imagine throwing a party like that for a kid -party pooper. By the way, LOVE your outfit in the pics.
@Christine ~ I am not even addressing the issue of whether a child has a single parent/two parents/multiple parents, nor am I bringing in income levels. I don’t care how little or much the parent makes, my point was that I BELIEVED that that was an excessive amount of money to spend on a party, period. What kind of expectations for the future does this set up for a child?
Stepping onto soap box: Really, if you’ve ever held a child’s birthday party, you’d know they cost money. Those “Big Bounces” you see all over on weekends? Upwards of $250 to rent. The cute party you see at the local roller rink? AT LEAST $150. If you want to have a “theme” party, those cutesy paper plates and napkins aren’t cheap! As a mother of 2 that has held parties at the local gymnastics gym, roller rink, ice rink, rented a Big Bounce Water Slide for the July birthday, (need I go on?), $300 is not, in my opinion, excess. We have not celebrated every year in this manner, but sometimes, like milestones, I believe it’s worth it. My children (now ages 13 and almost 16) remember every detail of every amazing birthday party with an excited smile in their voices, and that, my lovelies, is priceless.
And, end scene.
@Tara “What kind of expectations for the future does this set up for a child?” Why do you care? It’s my kid. My kid who does chores for allowance and now has a pet fish to rear. He collects toys for less fortunate children and we donate money to Memorial Sloan Kettering (where Poppa Coppa is treated) and Columbia Pres. (where I was treated as a child, ah I was very sick). I gave my kid a $400 dollar 5th bday. And my parents gave me a nice sweet 16. It was a month before my 10 hr spinal fusion surgery that could have left me paralyzed. My Nanny paid for the majority of that party – RIP. Don’t judge my family because we have cool parties every now and then. Was it excess to take a woman on a surprise trip to Vale, propose, while not ever offering his baby a dime for diapers? See, I don’t think so – it was his choice. And the court made him pay, because he wouldn’t help otherwise. Stop judging me for throwing an awesome karate party. Focus more on my amazing romper. Thank you.
@ Sheila, I had awesome Skater’s World parties, beauty salon parties and sleepover parties as a kiddo. They were rad!!! I loved my parents so much for celebrating my life! Ah!
I think everyone pretty much answered “Amy/Alissa” in a similar way that i would’ve, so i won’t bother with that. Christine, i DO applaud you for all you’ve done and how you’ve handled situations concerning your son and his father, BRAVO! You are an awesome mom who w/ an equally awesome son
With that aside, I’m a (recovering) single mom in my words LOL. My daughter is now 23 and on her own. I do think paying $300 is too much to pay for the b-day party location (of course, that’s just my opinion) no matter where you live. I think it is VERY possible to have a birthday party that overall cost $150-200 MAX. I’ve always been able to do that w/ my daughter, and i know plenty of other parents who’ve done this as well. It is a parent’s choice on how much to spend, i highly doubt anyone has “no choice BUT to spend” that excessive amount on a b-day party. We also didn’t have a lot of kids over (my daughter had LOTS of friends) but they ALL didn’t get invited to her birthday party, ’cause that’d just be insane! It’s possible for a child to have a memorable birthday party w/o spending a lot of money, having tons of kids over, or having the party at a special location. One time we had a party of hers at our local park, the location didn’t cost us a DIME! Anyway, those are just my two cents, i’m glad JD had a good birthday, looks like everyone had a BLAST!
Just a wild guess, but I think that a card from JD’s relatives in Indianapolis would have meant more than matching paper products, more than balloons, more than snacks or goodie bags. He could have put it on his dresser to look at whenever he wondered about his father. And for all the commenters who think $300 is too much to pay for a party venue in northern New Jersey, how much would YOU charge to have 20+ people you don’t know come over, eat food, run around, make a mess, enjoy games led by a martial arts professional – and then you clean up after them? And by the way you need insurance, electricity, etc. Still think $300 is expensive?
Off topic…I wish I could wear a romper like that without looking like a total a$$. That is all.
@Christine You’re so right…people change their minds all the time. Thanks for taking the time to respond. JD’s party rocked and you’re a super cool mom! Love all your blog posts and I bought Rattled on my iPad several months back and I really enjoyed reading it.
Throwing in one more thought relating to the “excess” debate – I had my daughter’s party at home, just relatives. Served ice cream cake, a variety of dips and snacks, and got two plastic table covers and a banner. Cost me almost $150. So planning a party that includes some of the kid’s friends, and is in a location where you can adequately and safely accomodate a dozen or so kids and their required adults, is easily going to cost at least several hundred dollars. The alternative, of course, is just don’t have a party. It’s certainly not excessive then. It’s also not living.
Gee, I don’t know about you guys, but my parents never spent more than $5 on my birthday parties. They set us loose in the woods to scavenge for food, and, afterwards, we made fun crafts out of mud and twigs! /SARCASM/
Really, though, this looks like a fun, ACTIVE birthday party that might get some kiddos interested in martial arts. Is it more costly than, say, a house party? Probably. But I’d rather spend a little extra money to not have 10 kiddos running around our tiny apartment — and to have the event venue take the reins in planning and leading activities.
And I MUST have that romper. Too cute!
*sigh* Okay Christine, you win. I am a judgemental b&%ch. I was EXPRESSING MY OPINION. I THOUGHT that was what a blog was for. But, as usual, anyone who dares to criticize you, you jump all over. Don’t worry ~ I won’t comment again. There are lots of bloggers out there who don’t flip out when a reader disagrees with them.
Tara, I just don’t think it’s fair you get to decide how I parent my kiddo and what’s excess or not. Happiness and peace to you!
Christine, from Tara’s comments, all i saw was her expressing opinion. Did it match yours, no, but that’s okay. Nowhere did i see that she was trying to “decide” on how you should raise your child. There were quite a few other ppl (me included) that thought that $300 was a bit excess, but you didn’t jump all over us. Babble.com says that they ENCOURAGE a range of opinions, but any time something seems as a judgement against you, you just seem to get really upset over it (from what i’ve seen in even past blog posts and comments). Tara just had a different opinion than yours, chill out.
I think the Karate party was awesome and not in excess at all. JD is your only son right now and he deserves it! I have two sons and we have to have parties in doors at places like the place you had JD’s party. Out apartment is super small and last time we tried to have it at a park it totally rained for the entire week. Last time we had our three year old’s B-day at a place called Pump it Up. it’s a place with a bunch of jumpy houses. It was close to $300… $400 total with food and goodie bags! But we also live in SF where everything is more expensive. I enjoy looking at all your pics and reading about your adventures!! Keep prevailing….
Christine- I have to be honest. Sometimes this my hate blog. I read it and HATE it. I think you are a spoiled, clueless, angry and overly defensive. Other times I read it and I think you are a good mama, very loving and try really hard to have a positive attitude. I will say that you have nice hair. Also, you have been through quite a bit in your 30 years- back surgery, boyfriend breaks neck, dad cancer, dad legal problems, witnessing a death, being abandoned by father of your child- I honestly and sincerely don’t understand how you can be so strong, but yet so infuriating. Oh well, pls try not to take my comments to heart. This is my hate/love read. I could NEVER put my family stuff out there like that for inspection and ridicule.
I’m not much of a commenter (sorry!), but I have read your blogs since glamour and always appreciated your honesty and the fact you weren’t looking for pity regarding your situation, but just sharing what it is like being a single mom! Keep doing what your doing, JD seems like a happy, well adjusted little boy! Also I don’t think his birthday party was excessive at all, I also live in northern NJ and unfortuately that’s just what I cost to throw an average kids birthday party!
I think it is sad that a friend of JDs father would want to share personal information about his moms family. The details are none of my business but at the end of the day JD having an example of what it means to take accountability for your choices/actions and what it means to have a family that is there for each other in good times and bad cant be a bad thing.
It is somewhat comical that spending $150 on your sons fifth birthday is excessive. I think it is unfathomable to abandon your pregnant girlfriend and choose not to support or see your child. I also think it is beyond sad that a so called ‘friend’ of the father would try and make that his moms fault. Until you have been abandoned while pregnant and hormonal you have no right to call someone psychotic. It’s disgusting.
Because I have the means I am going to donate $150 to a charity in my area (Vancouver, Canada) to help moms who are not as fortunate as Christine and not able to provide items like Christmas or birthday gifts cause of their children’s dead beat dads refusing to help other than what the court has mandated which they are lucky to get even though they are legally entitled to it.
@Courtney the kind of love hate relationship you experience with Chrissy is what has made her so successful. You never know what she’s going to say next and her track record with top selling mags is proof she isn’t going anywhere.Christine HAS experienced a great deal of pain and adversity in her young life and she has spun that misfortune into an incredibly successful career that provides a beautiful life for her son. She shouldn’t have to apologize for being privileged, she works her a$$ off. I know because she is my friend first, but my colleague second and I have seen her work ethic first hand. The fact that you admit you have hate blogs is sad and yet another example of women trying to tear each other down instead of build each other up. Christine is raw and emotional. She is artistic and honest to a fault. Her willingness to share her life with her readers and use her real name is brave and progressive. Love her or hate her she owns her words and actions, she doesn’t write under an alias. The bottom line is get used to her, or get out.
@Jemma and @Courtney, This is a really interesting topic in general. What happens when we share details of our personal lives with strangers? It can be instructive, inspiring, cautionary. It can illuminate our own lives when we see how differently other people live. I get what Courtney is saying, though, about Christine Coppa’s defensiveness. I don’t think I have ever seen her respond to a comment with a simple “I see what you’re saying” or “never thought about it that way before.” It’s her way or the highway. Maybe that’s a cultural thing. I am not Italian-American from Northern New Jersey, nor do I come from a family that is as unconditionally supportive as the Coppa family appears to be.
BTW, Jemma, I think you are misinterpreting Courtney. She said she has a love/hate relationship with the blog, not with Christine Coppa.
“Get used to her or get out” = her way or the highway. There never seems to be room for discussion. Can’t we learn from each other? Isn’t that the middle ground between tearing down / building up?
Interesting that this new trope has emerged of Christine Coppa being an “artist.” She has said so twice in today’s comments and I see that you, Jemma, have picked it up. I’ll be curious to see how it plays out. (I have done a lot of research in the artistic identity and how people define themselves as artists.) Rock on, everyone. I’m going to go check out xojane.com, which can be inane, but a lot more diverse in points of view.
Also, @Brianne, that is absolutely beautiful that you donated $150 to a charity that supports women! Thank you!
I think it’s possible Christine overcompensates for the fact that jd only has one parent but if that’s to the tune of 400 dollars so be it, jd so far is missing out on something priceless – having a dad (and so is his self absorbed father) that said he has an amazing family and I know he is well loved and cared for. My dad Was a veteran and addicted to drugs but he still maintained a strong relationship with his kids
@Brianne – My students did a project where they created birthday baskets for a women’s shelter. Each basket had a different theme with a few decorations, hats, a cake mix box, a jar of icing, and a gift in a gift bag. This way every child staying there could have a birthday party. We tried to do presents that appeal to all genders and/or personalities like legos, games, teddy bears, books… You may want to see if a women’s shelter has something like this or a homeless shelter. EVERY child deserves a birthday party with little hats and a cake and a gift to open.
@Ed – You are wise.
@Gina – Well said… I think it would be wonderful if the entire family, including JD’s paternal grandparents, sent a card. There is still time to make a little boy’s day.
@Gina there is ALWAYS room for discussion, I would never refute that point. But you know what? I’m Christine’s friend, I love her and I’m not cool with people trash talking her. Courtney’s comments weren’t about the party or the blog, they were about Christine’s character ( I think YOU are a spoiled, clueless, angry and overly defensive-that doesn’t sound like she’s talking about the blog). Maybe it’s not rational but I act with my heart, not my head. If someone said those things to Christine’s face in front of me you better believe I would stick up for her. I’m not going to get in a comment war, I’m glad you all read her blogs and that they spark open discussion. I hope you all have a fantastic week.
What do you care if she spent a certain amount of HER money on HER kids birhday party? she wrote this blog NOT asking your opinion about the way she spent the money,she’s not asking “DOES EVERYBODY THINK IT’S OK IF I SPEND THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY ON MY SON’S BIRTHDAY? IS IT OK WITH YOU?” it shouldn’t have to be ok with anyone but herself,since the dad chooses not to care about his son financially or emotionally then she can and will spend how much she feels like spending. The matter of fact is someone brought something personal that has nothing to do with JD’s 5th birthday party in a harmful way wich was not,because that’s her family and OBVIOUSLY she’ll support her dad who raised a good daughter and is helping raise a good grandson stepping up as a dad as well as a grandparent because a selfish person decided that he didn’t want to be a dad to his first born.
“Get in or get out….?”. Aren’t you all like thirty yrs old? Where are you from? I’m a Houston lawyer for reference. I don’t hear other educated 30 yr old women talk like that. It sounds so masculine and aggressive. Maybe its a regional thing
@Jemma, and then she goes on to say, “Other times I read it and I think you are a good mama, very loving and try really hard to have a positive attitude.” People are complex. They’re not 100% any one thing. Well, I don’t know, maybe in Northern New Jersey they are. Thank you for wishing me a good week. I wish you the same.
My comment about the husbands was RUDE. My apologies. ….Courtney
They say in Mongolia friends say a lot about a person’s character. If I were facing the same tough day, I would kill to have friends who would not leave me alone to face it all by myself. You do have some amazing friends. And that says a lot about your character
The romper is amazing
np courtney xo. some of us don’t even wants hubs or boyfriends – I’m dating and having fun! saw ur comment to wondercat1 my big bro – yes Hawaii was intense, but my big bro handled it well … and cried. read my pet blog. it’s very low drama xo http://blogs.babble.com/kid-scoop/2012/08/13/how-old-were-your-when-you-got-a-pet/
@Courtney, you’re a lawyer, not a writer so I would never expect you to “put your family stuff out there like that for inspection and ridicule.” I personally enjoy memoirs. One of my favorites was written by an NYC writer I really admire. It’s called Orange is the New Black – it’s about her year in a female fed prison after she was found guilty of drug trafficking. I of course am a fan of Eat Pray Love – every woman’s fantasy in my book – to disappear and travel the world, but how brave was the author to actually share her raw emotion, ya know? For me, fiction is cute and passes the time, but I love to read real life stuff. You’re a lawyer, so I am recommending The Fatal Gift of Beauty: The Trials of Amanda Knox by Elle mag contrib, Nina Burleigh. She completely dissects the Knox case (which I was obsessed with.) Knox is currently penning her “family stuff for inspection and ridicule” for 4 million dollars. Comes out in 2013. Cannot wait. Other memoirs that changed my life: A Three Dog Life and The Year of Magical Thinking. I am currently looking forward to Solo: A Memoir of Hope by Olympian Hope Solo – she examines her life growing up with an alcoholic mom and a father who was, at a time, incarcerated. I just love honest writers and real life. But that’s me. Trust me, my own fam cringes sometimes too – but they know their daughter is a free bird writer making a living, so like I support them, they support me. And “Amy” put my dad’s stuff out there – not me. I have every intension of writing about it and working with the author of http://www.amazon.com/The-Lost-Bank-Washington-Mutual-The/dp/1451617925 Cheers! And thanks for keeping an open mind.
Christine- writers, I believe are supposed to mine the subconscious. They explore the collective subconscious (the stuff of our dreams, the symbols and the imagery we all subconsciously agree on), they return to the surface with their insight and they meticulously put together these gems into the human condition in palatable forms- and when brilliantly done we call it art. Bloggers, on the other hand, do a constant temperature taking of their emotional barometer, return to the surface, regurgitate their opinions for public criticism and comment. Blogging, by its quick get it out medium, inflames, provokes, and demands controversy. That’s why we read blogs and forget them very quickly. Blogs doesn’t require much of the reader. There is usually a distinct lack of personal self-insight, the insight, if even bothered to be given, is generally limited to shallow observations- “obviously, I’m prettier than her”- and nothing is said about the human condition. It’s like reading someones diary. I applaud your desire to be an artist, and I’ve seen flashes of some good writing on your part (that just cannot be taught)- good evocative imagery, descriptive language, innate understanding of how dialogue works- but I think if you want to be an artist, an open and honest writer you have got to start listening to the writers, even the jerks and the cruel. These are the people who are offering you insight you can’t see yourself (as we are all blind to our issues). It’s difficult to trust a writer who refuses to listen, who gets ego-sick and wounded at the slightest grievance. Writers defend the arts, not themselves b/c they know they too are flawed, vulnerable. The ego is not to be defended by the writer but explored and put in context with this crazy world. Have you ever participated in a writer’s workshop? Good workshops are brutal. People tell you what sucks, what doesn’t work- those are your real friends as a writer. The people who defend your ego, may mean well but they are artistically useless. Now, with the crap unfairly brought up about your father. I say screw them. That is out of bounds. Thank you for the reading suggestions
Now, on topic: I’m glad your son had an awesome birthday party. And 5 IS a landmark birthday, no? I remember turning 5, enrolling in Kindergarten…so many changes ahead
@courtney, this is so well put: “Writers defend the arts, not themselves b/c they know they too are flawed, vulnerable.” I have taught writing workshops for many years and I agree. Learning to give and receive feedback is difficult and valuable.
@christinecoppa, have you read Mary Karr’s “The Liars Club” or her follow-up, “Lit”? Both fantastic memoirs by a poet with an incredibly gothic childhood. Btw I disagree that fiction is merely cute. The best literary fiction is as insightful and true as the best memoir.
@Gina, you know me well. Karr is a fave of mine. Read The Liar’s Club and read Lit. I attended the U of the Arts in Philly for 4 yrs so yes I attended many workshop classes. I have 12 credits towards my MFA in creative writing, but stopped to save money and write my book. I also taught a writing class for The New York Times owned website, mediabistro.com for 2 years- I don’t think people are criticizing my work. And when they do, I love it. I work with the top editors in this biz – babble.com is a side job – I don’t make my living blogging – God Bless Dooce.com! The blog war is about a friend of the son’s father who released their last name. I have no legal obligation to not name them – and I never released their last name. I have a lit agent and lawyer who vet the above statement. Two award winning mags contracted me to write about single motherhood – Aaron is a factor in that. I don’t need to cower and call him Bob. One of the man reasons, I did name him as Aaron on this blog is because when I started writing here, sweet JD said, “Mommy, I know I have a daddy, but what is his name.” Aaron is his name. As JD grows older and asks Qs, I will or will not blog about them. I wonder if anyone ever asked Aaron his son’s name: It’s JACK. One of my biggest pet peeves: Writers who pen their names. I once read an article about a mom who HATES her child. It was a moving, disturbing essay and gee, it went viral! and she penned her name – maybe to spare her child pain, children services from getting involved – or maybe it was FICTION – hence went viral. I have no prob with ppl telling me my book, blog, essays suck. I’ve seen many a red pen marks on my work – this debate is about a man who abandoned his kid, pays court ordered cs and not a dime more. I really liked your comment Gina. You have moxie. Like me. I hope you will stick around. @Courtney: I am more flawed and tortured then you know, but every now and again a glimmer of something shines and I know I help ppl. I think my messy, emotional writing helps my fans? readers the most. Thanks for chiming in. Uncle Carlo appreciated your comment as well. Maybe we should put this to rest. I have 2 cute blogs about Leo Jack Coppa and face drawing up. Check em out. Thanks girls!!
And thank you all for reading. Just in from my babble.com editor: Top 5 Posts – 3 were mine. This one, the pet one (Leo Jack!) and should an out of parent pay… so thanks.
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Connors father wouldn’t help pay either haha but that didn’t stop me giving my child the party he wanted and deserved (kinda new he wouldn’t so I was prepared). Being a single mom shouldn’t mean that my child is neglected or missing out on something..if anything Connor has a better more stable happier life w/o his father in it. I wouldn’t change a thing and being a single mom and reading your blog makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone. T.y. I might do this for his 6th bday karate great idea!!!!xo