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Listen Up, Wives — 10 Things You Should Not Say to Your Husband

angry husband

Say Any Of These 10 Things And Expect This Face

What’s good for the gander, is good for the goose, no?

After reading Devan’s “14 Things Husbands Shouldn’t Say To Wives” post last week, I felt it was only right to serve up the story from the other side of the bed.

First thing you should notice is that while you’re being a boss with 14 rules for us, we’re a little more laid back, with only 10 stipulations that could set us off.

So, ladies, here’s your medicine, with 10 things you should never say to the man in your life:

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  • How do I look? Be honest 1 of 10
    How do I look? Be honest
    Do you really want my honest response? I'll tell you, and chances are you're not going to like it. You're the one reading the fashion magazines, you're the one who knows that cork heels are on trend or whatever. I'm watching sports. If you're happy with what you're wearing, I'm happy with what you're wearing — now let's go out.

    Image Credit: Alaskan Dude
  • Is the game almost over? 2 of 10
    Is the game almost over?
    Chances are if you're asking me this, the game has gone on for a long time. It's probably very close, and there is an important play about to happen. You'll know when the game is over because I'll be very happy my team won, or very upset my team lost.

    Image Credit: Dennis Crowley
  • Tell us how to look after the kids 3 of 10
    Tell us how to look after the kids
    We get it, you probably love the kids more than us, but if you're going to go out for the afternoon, or day, or evening with your friends, you have to trust that we know what we're doing. Sure, diapers may get a little fuller, the kitchen may get a little messier, and bedtime might be a little later, but this is how we roll. Let us roll.

    Image Credit: Bruno De Regge
  • Try not to embarrass me 4 of 10
    Try not to embarrass me
    It's called a sense of humor, and farts are funny. Go ahead, pull my finger. See?

    Image Credit: The Futuristics
  • What time will you be home? 5 of 10
    What time will you be home?
    It's not so much the question that you shouldn't ask, but rather the tone you shouldn't use. If you just want to know around what time you should be worried we're dead in a ditch with our boys, fine. If you ask it with a disapproving tone that says "I hate it when you're out with them," then you're just asking for a fight.

    Image Credit: Paul Lowry
  • I’m not your mother 6 of 10
    I'm not your mother
    You're right, you're not — but you're sounding an awful lot like her. Marriage is 50/50; we all have our chores. In our house, I cook and do the groceries, and my wife cleans. I don't complain about her not cooking, so she'd better not complain about how I don't do the laundry.

    Image Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
  • Not tonight 7 of 10
    Not tonight
    That new show, 7 Days of Sex, starts on Lifetime this week. In it, couples are encouraged to have sex every day for a week to bring them closer together. Rebuffing your mate's advances puts up walls in the relationship.

    Image Credit: Kainr
  • Did you take out the garbage? 8 of 10
    Did you take out the garbage?
    Remember when you had your first job at McDonald's and the boss would say if you have time to lean, you have time to clean? Instead of nagging us about the 'honey-do' list, just help out with it.

    Image Credit: Editor B
  • It was on sale 9 of 10
    It was on sale
    Just because it was on sale, doesn't mean we need it. Tchotchkes are tchotchkes. Even if it was 75% off, it's still just a dust collector on a shelf. And how many pairs of shoes do you need anyway?

    Image Credit: RGBStock
  • Let’s see (insert random chick flick here) 10 of 10
    Let's see (insert random chick flick here)
    I can tell you exactly how this movie is going to play out: couple will have perfect life, there will be a problem, the couple will split, then they get back together. The formula of these movies is so predictable, the titles rife with cliche, and nobody ever acts like that in real life. Really want to see the chick flick du Jour? Have a girls' night out.

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