Mr. Suit hasn’t met JD yet, because for the past 7-months I’ve really enjoyed compartmentalizing my life as a single mom, writer and girlfriend. I just want to date as an adult for awhile.
I don’t want to go to diners with crayons. I want sushi and wine. I don’t want to have an outing to the zoo. I want to see The Killers live and drink beer. I’ve been doing and loving the solo single mommy thing for 5 years and I am still doing it (Had a great date this weekend—after karate and hiking with JD). I want to be selfish for a little.
I got pregnant at 25. JD’s dad left in my first trimester. His dating life didn’t end or change. I bet he was drinking beer at 1 AM while his newborn was drinking a bottle in my arms.
No shock here, but I didn’t date when I was pregnant. I think I recall going on a first date post JD when he was around one-ish. My friend set me up with a single dad from NYC. The guy was nice, but it didn’t work out.
Over the past few years I’ve definitely dated, but I’ve never dated someone … I cared about. It was more the allure of having someone to hang with, mixed with easy-on-the-eyes crushes that temporarily filled the void. The void I feel when JD is asleep and the condo is quiet. When I drop him at school and drive to work and know that I will pick him up later and repeat it all over the next day. Motherhood and work. Zoo and coloring. Chicken nuggets and the park.
It’s different now. I’m not trying to fill a void. See, I don’t feel the void. I feel strangely balanced. Mr. Suit has brought about a change in me. A change in me I like. And while I agree 7-months is a long time to be dating someone and not introduce him to your child, you have to understand what dating is like for a single mom and a successful man.
We both work. Mr. Suit has a giant career and his days and most weeknights are filled up. It’s a nice treat to spend the night with him on a random Tuesday if a family member can help with my son. But mostly we hang on a Saturday night and most of Sunday morning, so while we’re not seeing other people, our relationship is progressing at a gentle pace—a pace I believe has kept me from fleeing, from being afraid, keeping it exciting and fresh. I can’t wait to see him!
Most women want to be with their man all the time and I do, but there’s an unspoken respect between us. He knows JD comes first and I know if he has a week of business dinners, he does. There is trust and comfort between us. We can be quiet together.
But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t meet JD, because it’s starting to feel weird he hasn’t. But shockingly enough, he met my dad first—a move I thought was so genuine and sweet. Mr. Suit knows that my dad and brothers are JD’s “dads” and coming from an Italian-Catholic crazy home like me, he wanted to play this all with respect. He met uncle Bri casually—they hit it off. In similar business, they speak the same language and have things in common, plus Bri loves everyone.
Mr. Suit and I met my dad and his GF for drinks and dinner—and dare I say a little clubbing this past weekend (haha). Mr. Suit found me to be quiet and nervous—something I hardly am. But as we sat in the lounge and I sipped my martini, I thought, wow, this is the first guy that has mattered enough in five years to meet the people in my life and I suddenly just felt overwhelmed, but in a good —and OK, a panicky way, too.
Mr. Suit and my dad hit it off (I mean I knew they would). We ate, we drank, we talked. We all woke up with headaches. But I also woke up feeling good. Like no matter what happens with Mr. Suit and I down the road, God knows, I have NO idea, I know I have met a decent man and that they exist. I did lose faith.
And so it is with great pleasure that Mr. Suit, after putting up with me for 7-months, meets my little boy. And I’d be lying if I said my dad “loving” him didn’t make me feel even better about this upcoming meeting. I do come from a close family. I do count my family in when I make decisions about JD.
Single rents, did your boyfriend/girlfriend meet your parents or sibs before your child? Was there a hierarchy of people that you thought should meet him/her first? Chime in.
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