I went to the Wayne, NJ pool today. I grew up in Wayne, aka posh-ville. The pool is essentially a country club. My friend Kelly who lives in Wayne invited JD and me to join her and her daughter, Katelyn. I was so excited. Our condo has two gorgeous pools, but the Wayne, NJ pool is like a water park. I gladly accepted. I packed lunch and met her at noon. The kids played in the kiddy pool for an hour while Kel and I caught up. The kiddy pool is super shallow and there’s a lifeguard on duty so we got to chat while we lounged in chairs and drank spring water (awesome!). After an hour at the kiddy pool, we moved to the picnic area and ate lunch. We sat at a table next to a mom, her baby in a stroller and other family members and friends. JD munched on the chicken nuggets and pickles I packed for him. I noticed the mom across from us feeding her baby YoBaby yogurt mixed with cereal and it reminded me of when JD was a baby … and not almost five (sniffle). But then the baby vomited everywhere and the mom went nuts!
Mom Confession: I Have Panic Disorder. It Sucks. Read more here.
“OMG what are you doing,” the mom screamed at her baby who was under one. Then I watched her catch liquid puke in her hands. The baby literally puked up everything she just fed him and the mom lost her sh*t. It looked like the baby was puking up milk. I felt so bad for … the mom. I know what’s it’s like to have a moment of pure desperation mixed with “eff it” rage. I’ve been there and done that. Sometimes I do it in my head and sometimes I do it, in real time. I’ve admittedly said to JD, “Really! What are you doing? Are you serious! STOP!!!” I’ve stormed off too.
If pool mom didn’t have help at her table I would have leapt to her rescue with a towel, but she had help. One woman positioned a plastic baggy under the baby’s mouth and it didn’t successfully collect the puke but it kinda did. The mom yelled, “I can’t, just stop! I’m over it!!!” at the baby and people looked at her like she was crazy, but me, me? I wanted to embrace her and give her a rum and coke. Honey, I feel ya!
It’s OK for us to lose it. We don’t have to remain composed and pretty when our kids projectile vomit on us. I think it’s OK for us to be human, feel, and show pure black and white emotion. Today was proof that I am not insane for losing my sh*t when JD doesn’t cooperate or throws a fit because I simply tell him it’s bedtime or to find his sneakers.
An hour later I saw the same mom rocking her baby to sleep at the kiddy pool. She was standing up in a cutesy polka dot tankini and humming. It was a pure, beautiful moment. It was the same as the moment of rage. It was motherhood in its purest form. It was life. Beautiful, messy life.
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