I know being a Mom is joy and roses all the time (ahem), but occasionally even the strongest mom has to admit that she has some pet peeves. Here are some of mine. Think of it as a love (I would LOVE you to stop doing this) letter to my children.
- Mommy likes to go the bathroom, ALONE. Please stop following me into the bathroom. Also, no need to stand outside of the bathroom asking me when I’ll be done. I’m done when I’m done, child. Oh, and it’s most inconvenient to start fighting with your brother when Mommy is indisposed.
- When Mommy is on the phone, don’t use that as an excuse to start talking, screaming or wailing right next to me. When Mommy is giving you the death stare, it means be quiet or mommy’s head might explode. Also, if you’re asked to NOT answer the phone no matter what, don’t answer the phone. Also, don’t tell the person on the line that I told you that I didn’t want to talk to them because I probably don’t like them. Not cool, little person.
- When I ask you if you have to go to the bathroom, don’t say no. It would be AWESOME if you could go to the bathroom before we leave the house, so that you don’t have to go the minute we get where we’re going. The fact that we’ve been to every nasty bathroom in the entire city, makes Mommy want to bathe in Purel every day.
- The hamper is that round thing in the corner of your room where the dirty laundry lives. It is not a hiding place. Also, NOT a garbage can.
- When I’m cleaning the house, it’s really not necessary for you to follow me around the house, basically messing up what I’ve just cleaned. After all, Daddy fills that role just fine.
- I hate not knowing why the bathroom doorknob is wet.
- Making a nice dinner is less than nice when all you eat is the bread, dear sweet children.
- Dirty Q-tips anywhere but in the garbage is just nasty.
- Putting plastic bugs of any kind in my bag so that when I reach in for something, I have a minor coronary? This explains Mommy’s Valium prescription.
- Not being able to swear anywhere near you beloved children is sometimes painful. But worse is when I do, you hear me and tell me I’m being “inappwopwiate”. When Mommy teaches you big words, there is an unspoken rule that you can’t use them against me. Ever.
Do you have any pet peeves as a Mom (or Dad)?