It has been a hard week for me, and a lot has been on my mind. I am not an outwardly emotional person, it’s rare to see me cry (unless I am pregnant, then all bets are off), but it’s easy to tell when I am not myself.
Yesterday marked the anniversary of one of my losses — Triton who lived only until 13 weeks gestation. I have been through many miscarriages, but for whatever reason, his hit me the hardest and this is always a difficult time of year for me.
My kids know about Triton; they know he is not here; they know he was once in my tummy and Raru even talks to people about him being her little brother. I haven’t gone into too great of details with them, only because they haven’t asked, but when, if they do — my kids will know the history of our pregnancies.
Yesterday, I was certainly not in my best parenting mood. I was not really in the mood to be silly, or play, or do anything too fun. The kids have seen me in much better spirits, but when parenting, I think it’s equally important to show them that mommy can be sad too, that emotions — good or bad — are okay to express.
There was a time where I thought I had to be ‘strong’ for my kids and not let them see me cry. There was a time where I never wanted them to see me in any other mood than silly and happy. I thought that sheltering them from the stresses of being an adult would help in the long run.
I no longer feel that way.
I want my kids to see a wide range of healthy emotions and that includes anger and sadness. I want them to know that it is okay to feel whatever they are feeling, and in our family, we will support each other, and they can see that emotions are not something to be afraid of.
I think that is healthy. When they are grown I want them to remember there were times where mom was crazy happy and there were times where I was crying and sad. I want them to see that I am okay despite those emotions and feelings and that we got through them all as a family.
:: Do you allow emotions to be expressed in your family — good and bad? ::
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Photo credit: Stuart Dallas Photography on Flickr