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Motherhood: Admit It, We All Judge Each Other

By Christine.Coppa |

Judgey moms. Can’t stand ‘em … and sometimes I am one myself.

Last few times I felt judged:

1. When I wear leggings and a sweatshirt at school drop-off and a corporate-chic mom gives me the up-and-down look like I’m laid off, but I’m really going home to work on a new project and was on a photo shoot set for 12 hours the previous day. Can my kid really attend this school if I don’t have a job? Don’t look at me.

2. When I hand over a box of fruit snacks at the checkout and explain the box is open, because my son wanted a pack while we shopped around and a mom rolls her eyes at me. (I saw that.) Pick your battles, people. What’s easier? Giving your kid a pack of fruit snacks or having him beg for the pack while you try to shop? Go for the buffet. Trust me.

3. When I take my kid into the liquor store with me to buy wine and some woman looks at me like I’m crazy because JD knows to ask for the sticker bowl. Her kids are probably at home or at dance class.

Last few times I admittedly judged:

1. When I looked over and saw a mom smoking a cigarette in the car. Her toddler was in the back seat.

2. When there were legit wet boogers running down a baby’s face and the mom wasn’t wiping them. I know you might not have access to a wipey or tissue—use your sleeve. Use my sleeve.

3. When Jenelle and her mom from Teen Mom 2 had yet another screaming match in front of little Jace. I realize this is TV, but it’s reality TV and unfortunately whether they’re doing it for ratings or purely ARE dysfunctional, Jace is being subjected to it and it’s not OK.

When was the last time you felt mom judged and when was the last time you, come on now, judged another mom?


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About Christine.Coppa



Christine Coppa is the author of Rattled! (Broadway Books, 2009), the creator of's Storked blog and a freelance fashion market editor. Her son, Jack, is 5 and they hail from North NJ. Her work has appeared in Glamour, First for Women, Redbook and Parenting among other publications.

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6 thoughts on “Motherhood: Admit It, We All Judge Each Other

  1. Sarah says:

    Oh so you only judge in situations that are actually bad but people only judge you for silly things? C’mon really?
    We all judge and then we are all judged- sometimes for legitimate things and sometimes not -stop playing the victim all the time.

  2. KateW says:

    I’m 24 years old and could pass for 19. I have a 21 month and an 8 month old. I see or hear judging comments every time I’m at the grocery store with my kids. A couple times I have told people off
    but usually I just ignore.
    Last time I judged, it was actually at the grocery store check out. A mom was pouring Dr. Pepper in to a baby bottle for her 2 year old.

  3. Elizabeth says:

    people/moms/dads who smoke in cars with their kids. pregnant moms who smoke. it’s an addiction, but please! kids deserve to breathe clean air! makes me so angry!

  4. Any mom smoking in the vicinity of a child I have a problem with and I will not recant that urge. I refuse. More especially if said child is in utero.

    Mostly, though, I tend to judge myself. That dinner should have been more healthy. You should have bathed ALL the kids instead of giving one a wipey-bath before school. You should do more laundry more often. That kinda thing.

  5. Crystal T says:

    I usually feel judged anytime I admit I didn’t breastfeed or that I co-sleep with my 2 yr old ( I plan on moving him to a toddler bed next mth), or when they find out that I don’t force him to go to bed at 8 when he is not tired. I did have a co-worker who said that she never took her kids out when they were little when I told her my little boy had colic. She misunderstood what colic is and I just let it go. But, it was irritating that she would assume taking your kid outside would cause them to be ill. Little does she know I barely took him anywhere as an infant or really until recently. But I didn’t want to get into it.

    I was more judgemental of parents before I had kids, now I know how tough it is to be “perfect”. And yet I found myself judging a mom at the Christmas parade when she yelled at her child because he decided he didn’t want to sit but wanted to stand instead. (They had brought camping chairs I assume that was his choice) She used a few choice words but laughed it off. I nervously laughed with her but thought she could have handled it better.

  6. Martha says:

    My eldest has Aspergers, so I am constantly judged. Walk a while in my shoes, and you’ll understand why I let my kid make his own grilled cheese for dinner, even on Thanksgiving. How is it any different from a 30 something asking for no creamed onions and stuffing?
    As a teacher, I judge…a kids homework folder is never emptied at home, one eats Fruit Loops and fruit snacks for lunch every day, kid comes in smelling like they haven’t bathed in a few days…you get the picture.

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