My Kids Have Never Been to Church, and I’m Not Ever Going to Take Them
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My dad almost became a seminarian.
Around the same time he met my mom, he was seriously considering becoming a priest. He reconsidered, and, well, the rest is history.
I was raised in a Catholic home. I was an altar boy. I went to Catholic elementary and high school. My mom and dad were active in our church growing up. But somewhere in my mid/late teens they stopped forcing me to go.
I would feign being asleep as the time to leave for mass drew closer, and eventually they would just leave without me.
Mommyfriend crafted a great post about her return to church with her kids last week, and you should really read it.
This quote stands out:
“I’d never sit behind my computer and tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t be doing for their families. All I can do is share what I’m doing for mine, and church is now one of those things.”
I’m about to go fire and brimstone about why I don’t go to church. Many of you will not agree. I’m not telling you how to live your life, I’m telling you the reasons I use to explain how I live mine. Your mileage may vary, but I’m never going to take my kids to church. Ever.
I stopped going to church before I stopped believing in god. It was around the time my best friend told me he was gay. We had both attended the same Catholic high school, and I just couldn’t support an organization that openly challenged his rights as a person. There is so much moral fine print in church when it comes to equality, that I just couldn’t give it an hour of my week.
I’ve only accepted my atheism in the past 5 years. People like Christopher Hitchens (oh the irony of having Christ in his name), and Ricky Gervais best summing up how I feel about the existence of a higher power.
“A Christian telling an atheist he is going to Hell is about as scary as a small child telling an adult they wont get any presents from Santa”
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) August 19, 2012
As I’ve grown into an adult and now parent, I’ve come to the conclusion there is no god. Personal spirituality is what matters. If you want to love everyone, be charitable, and do good in the world, you don’t need to believe in unicorns, or saviors, or mythical omniscience to do it. You just do it.
I appreciate that churches do create community, and are a place for people to gather together and socialize and make friends, and that is all wonderful. It’s when they start talking of religion that things go sideways and create problems. The preaching of hate and intolerance. The discounting of science. The general backwardsness that takes allegorical stories and makes them historically relevant documents.
If religion is so wonderful, why does it make so many people hate other people because the holy figurine on their mantle is different? I’m sure many of you are hating me right now because I’m telling you the existence of god is about as real as the existence of unicorns, bigfoot, and elves.
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@zx6r82:what makes you believe that god does not exist?”The same things that make you think Thor doesn’t.— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) June 20, 2012
To be frank, religion comes from an era of ignorance. People didn’t know how the seasons changed, or how weather patterns evolved. They invented the existence of higher powers as the ultimate explainer as to why it got cold in the winter, eclipses made the world disappear, or why volcanoes exploded.
The world is explainable, I will explain it to my sons without the pretense of fables.
My sons will find community from their community. We will be active in their school, in their sports, in their arts. They will meet friends, and understand different cultures by being open and active to new things. We will travel.
They will learn about charity from their family.
They will learn spirituality from within themselves. The only moral compass that matters is the one in your head. I will teach my kids right from wrong, and I will teach them to choose love over hate.
So, remind me … why is it you think should I take them to church again?
A few tweets saying I should keep my atheism to myself.Just like people of faith keep their beliefs secret I guess. Haha.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) August 18, 2012
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As an atheist, what do you believe happens when you die? Nothing? Without faith in God I wouldn’t even consider having children, it just seems so silly to think that you live for 80-110 years and that’s the end of it. After that you’re forgotten forever. If that was truly what I believed I wouldn’t want anyone, especially my own flesh and blood, to have to live that way.
It sounds like you had a bad experience being raised in the catholic church, and I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve attended church for the last 15 years of my life (protestant church, not Catholic) and I’ve never heard any of these things you mentioned: “The preaching of hate and intolerance. The discounting of science. The general backwardsness that takes allegorical stories and makes them historically relevant documents.”
Why does something have to happen when I die?
What happens to a plant when it dies? What happens to a bear when it dies? They turn to ash, decompose and become part of the ecosystem. Nothing wrong with that.
Who cares what happens to me when I die? It’s what I leave behind that matters, for me, that’s my children.
Didn’t have a bad experience at all being raised Catholic, I just woke up one day and realized I can think just fine for myself. Personal spirituality ftw.
I will not shackle my children to a “belief”. I will challenge them to be curious, to ask questions, find answers, and most importantly, keep their minds free. And for the 80 – 110 years that they are going to be on earth, I hope they make every day their last so that they can live as many lifetimes as they have days. If they do that, then they won’t need to wait for this “ultimate death” or the word of “the one” to be fulfilled.
Dude, you should do what you re comfortable with. The only things I’d add though, is that I think you should be adding “I believe” before making statements like religion is due to ignorance or only fables. Your kid could grow up to be the most fundamental Christian you never wanted to meet, LOL. But seriously, what if they, themselves decide they believe in something different than you? The3y may never feel respected enough o share that with you and it could become a wedge.
I have an agnostic husband who had been raised by a strict ethnic Catholic, 2 agnostics that have been *briefed* in that religion. I went to Catholic school for 12 yrs but with an open-minded agnostic parent- but have been pagan since I started realizing what that meant. The youngest is mostly pagan, and none mind when I have fries or circles. I don’t force what I believe on them but they are open to it.
I’d have a difficult time accepting it if any of them went orthodox in anything, but I’d have to accept their path as different than my own.
Funny thing- the nuns tht taught at my high school were the most liberal, open-minded teachers I had- much moreso than the ;lay teachers, LOL. Had a great science program as well.
So, would that be a “no” on a complimentary copy of the Book of Mormon?
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I am glad you posted this. I myself am a staunch agnostic, fully believing that there is no way to know. To me, the existence of God is unlikely. I intend to raise my daughter to make that decision for herself. You may have already read it, but if not I highly recommend the book “Parenting Beyond Belief.” It’s all about raising your kids without religion and how to give them morals, traditions and that sense of community without a church.
Also, living life without believing in God is anything but depressing. Since I do not believe in an afterlife, I view life as special and precious. These 80 some-odd years are all I have and it gives me the motivation I need to make the very best out of every day. We are remembered after death by those whose lives we have made a difference in, and that it very important to me.
Via @anildash:
“Serious q for Catholics, when condom policy changes, is it “God changed his mind” or “we misinterpreted” or “we choose this interpretation”?”
I wouldn’t ask it as seriously, but rather use it as an example that religion is little more than a man-made interpretation of the world around us.
Here’s an interesting stat – In 110 years from today (the longest reasonable lifetime for a child born today), everyone on this earth will be gone and an entirely new population will inhabit the earth. This includes your children, possibly even your children’s children. We will all be forgotten, perhaps sooner than we ever realized. Out of curiosity, how does an atheist take this information? You had said earlier that what matters is what you leave behind… but when you think about it, not even that matters when you look at things 100 years down the road.
John, I will most definitely leave behind a digital legacy. My kids and grandkids and great grandkids and beyond will know me through that. But what does it matter? Why do *I* need to continue to exist somewhere? I’m happy enough living in the present, I’ll let my descendants worry about the future when they get there.
After I’m gone, whether or not my spirit persists in some way (and, being an agnostic, I’m not really convinced one way or another on that question), my atoms will still be around bothering people, just in some different form. I find that oddly comforting. (Also, I’d love to be buried in a garden so that my body can feed living things.)
I am also not bothered by the idea that I may not be remembered in 100 years. What does it matter? I won’t know any of those people. What matters to me is that I made an impression on the people I knew and that those people remember me. I don’t care about people I will never meet knowing about me.
I still “remember” my great-grandparents that I never even met. My son “remembers” his Great-great-grandparents that he never met. He remembers them as one remembers a favorite character in a book. Their memory lives on because we talk about them, and look at pictures of them, and find the country/town/village they grew up in on the map. I’m an agnostic atheist(I believe there is no god(s) but I can’t prove that through science). When my Dad died when my son was 5 we talked about how Papa would always be with us in our hearts, as long as we remembered him, and didn’t stop sharing memories of him. Why does there have to be an abstract idea of heaven. That’s a difficult concept for an educated adult to grasp, let alone a child younger than the age of reason.
Not all churches preach intolerance and hate or discount science. Unfortunately, many do and repel all potential seekers, leading them to voice blanket statements about places people come to worship. It’s difficult not to come to dichotomous conclusions on one side or the other, especially when most of a person’s experience leads them to those conclusions.
Dadcamp, your story is very much like mine. I left the catholic church in 1996 when the pope stood in front of the teen summit in Denver & told them not to use condoms! I was able to think *for myself* and decide that that was an irresponsible & dangerous suggestion in this day & age. We forget that the church used to encourage as many pregnancies as possible because that meant more followers to give money to the church!
Now, as an atheist, I find no reason to worry about what happens to me after death. I notice that my christian friends are WAY more concerned about the “after life” than me. I consider atheism my path to the freedom to live my life.
As for a legacy? I’ll be remembered by my kids and possibly grandkids, but after that? Who cares. I’ll be a face in a picture where people just say “I think that was my dad’s great grandma or something”. Who cares. They shouldn’t worry about the past any more than I am worried about the future.
I don’t go to church, either and I’d be happy if my kids never set foot in that place. To me it’s mythology mixed in with some bigotry to boot.
My husband does attend services a few times a month and he also volunteers at his church’s homeless shelter.
And the weird thing is that our kids have their own ideas. Last year, our 13 year old daughter decided that she wanted to get confirmed, and she did attend confirmation classes (I was like WTF is confirmation?!) but I had to learn, because she’s my daughter and I love her and if it’s important to her I’m going to find about it.
This parenting stuff is exhausting.
I agree that you need to do what feels right for you and yours. I feel fortunate in that we found a church that reflects our personal beliefs and it’s a wonderful way to reinforce those ideals within our kids. That said, our push really came as a result of our eldest son, who, like in Marinka’s situation felt compelled to start attending. You and your wife are clearly awesome parents who are raising wonderful children in a loving environment.
Why do religious people always have such a problem with someone being atheist? Or gay? Or Buddhist? Or pro-choice? Atheists don’t seem to mind for the most part if someone wants to be religious.
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I respect his reasons but whether religion or a God existed or not, humans will always be hateful and intolerant to each other. it doesn’t take religion to show us that. people kill people with religion and without it. people kill people for life insurance money, it hasn’t stopped people for buying insurance. I think the sooner we accept that humans are flawed and are capable of doing terrible things no matter the forces or reasons, the sooner we can work on ourselves as a whole.
This is it right here. I grew up Baptist. In the south. In an all white church in a town of 6,000 people. I now have 3 children and with the exception of a few months a couple years ago we do not attend church. I’m agnostic, leaning atheist and haven’t figured out how to discuss this with my kids so I haven’t yet. They’re still fairly young, but I do know they will grow up more charitable, loving and tolerant than anyone that I ever went to church with.
Good article, the only thing I disagree with you on is… I won’t say I’ll Never take my kids to church. I don’t believe in religion, I’m not an athiest, I’m agnostic. If my children ever decide they want to give church a try, I’ll take them. If my kids want to give witchcraft a try, I’ll let them. I believe in letting my kids decide for themselves Just like you didn’t like being ‘forced’ to go to church you shouldn’t ‘force’ your kids to be athiests.
Just a question here, out of curiosity:
What if your children ever express a desire to go to church, or to learn more about God or Buddha or other spiritual beings? What if a friend goes to church and they want to go also? Will you allow them to make these decisions for themselves (age appropriately of course) or will you firmly close that door for them? After all, it took you a while to get to where you are, belief-wise. Just wondering if you would allow your children the same experience of discovering for themselves what they want to or don’t want to believe.
Otherwise, you are doing the same thing your parents did – “forcing” them to be atheistic like you. Just a thought.
Hey Jeanette,
In my Catholic schooling, one of our projects was to study another religion and present it to the class. I had great chats with our neighbors, who were Jehovah’s Witnesses, and presented that to the class. In my 20s, I dated a girl with a strong Mormon family, and I took the time to learn about that. Religion is an important part of many cultures, and learning about them is a great way to understand the world, and show respect.
That said, I’ll be certain to have reasonable conversations with my children about the non-existence of any real god, and how many religions have different interpretations of a mythical being that basically wants people “to be excellent to each other.”
My parents didn’t force me to be atheist. They still go to church and are eucharistic ministers.
I too have a hard time believing i a higher being. the older i get my beliefs have changed. Can’t definitely say I’m a non-believer either. I just have a lot of questions and ifs and why? My parents made me go to sunday school every sunday at a methodist church. My dad dropped us off and he went to play golf. But he would tell me I needed to go to church. I quit going when i was 16. The minister was divorced and we were at his house one evening with youth group. And for some reason him and I were alone in the kitchen. I remember him rubbing my arm and thinking why are you touching me. Nothing happened but i didn’t tell anyone for years . Inappropriate I do say. Too many churches preach hate and do not welcome everybody . I didn’t take my son to church who is now 35 and he says he’s agnostic. He made up his won mind. Also he is my only son and he is gay and has a partner. Would they be welcome in a southern baptist church oh hell no esp. here in NC where I live . I don’t judge anyone who is muslim, hindu or whatever. They have the right to chose there religion too. Who am I to say they aren’t right. Be the best at what you want to be and don’t worry what someone thinks
I never went to church, and I turned out fine. I plan on doing with my kids what was done with me, giving them the right to choose and create their own beliefs. I do not agree with most organized religions or what they have turned to be, just another way to attempt to control people. It’s like the point of them giving you a basis to be a better person has been lost. My children will be free to explore religion any way they see fit. If they decide to try church I will stand behind them, but also encourage them to explore more than one, keep an open mind, and not let it turn them into judgmental controlling jerks.
I was raised in an Evangelical Lutheran household, and my dad’s whole family is devoutly Christian, two of his brothers are even Reverends. Growing up, I just went to church. In the midwest, it’s just sort of what you do. It wasn’t until I was sitting in my confirmation classes that I started to wonder about things. And then I too had some high school friends come out as gay, and I really started to wonder about things. It took a long time for me to realize that I just didn’t believe what they were teaching me in church. Not that I didn’t want to believe, but that I couldn’t believe. Then my well-meaning parents sent me off to college. And boy was that eye-opening. But it still wasn’t until tragedy struck last year, when I was 32, that I finally figured I’m probably an atheist. I looked back on my life and realized that when I was at my absolute lowest times, and everyone was telling me to “just pray!” was when I felt the worst, not only about my situation, but about myself. Was I not praying right? Did God not want me to feel better? When I took ownership of my problems and worked on finding solutions–that’s when I felt better. I haven’t “come out” as an atheist to my family yet, I’m not sure I ever will. But, rest assured, my children will not be taken to church either. If they’d like to go when they get older, I won’t stop them. But it won’t be me forcing that stuff on them.
I love this and feel the same way!!! I live in the South, and my town is full of churches..nothing but almost…..anyways, I went to church, I’ve been saved and baptized..I believe or would like to believe there is a higher power out there…..I’ve lost a lot of family members, but I think religion is stupid. I don’t see how people can think that anything wrote in bibles or anything else is real, they were supposedly wrote thousands of yrs ago.. by who knows who and people base their beliefs off of it. I have twins and I will not take them to church. I have family members who I love and respect dearly that go to church on a regular basis and are involved in their church and their always saying bring the babies to church or come to church… I think they have finally given up though. If my children decide that they want to be Christians when they get older that’s their choice but I will not teach them religion! My husband doesn’t believe in god either. My husband is from England and when we first got married, the preacher that had baptized came up to visit and he started talking about god and stuff to my husband asking him if he was saved and stuff, my husband said no, he told my husband that if we were to die that he would go to hell and I would go to heaven and that he would not have married us because my husband was not saved! I could not believe it. My husband kept his cool and so did I but I have never been so angry in all my life. I have never believed anything like that in all my life. Just because he wasn’t saved and baptized, means hes not good enough to go to heaven. Who wants to believe in a god like that not me and I hope my children never will.
I totally understand what you are saying. I was raised Catholic – Catholic school, church…the works (though, back then girls weren’t allowed to serve as alter”boys”…I had a long argument with the priest about that. I think that was the beginning of the end of my Catholic faith…) As I got older i couldn’t ignore the hypocrisy. I do believe that my religion, at the time, taught me some really important truths…Treat people the way you want to be treated. don’t lie, hurt, steal…it’s a waste of time to covet other peoples things…you get my drift. It was the politics. The arrogance…who says one person’s beliefs are more “right” then someone elses? However, I struggle with finding a venue to persue my spirituality and need to be involved with a community of like-minded people. I have started to check out the Universalist Unitarians and am intrigued. It’s for anyone and everyone. Looking forward to seeing where it takes me and my little boy
Hopefully, a place of love and peace.
I thought that your article was very interesting and I can see why people find it appealing to not believe in a God. What I do not understand is how anyone can live life without a set standard of morals. If things are just good/evil according to our own personal standards, how do we have the right to convict criminals? You said that you want to teach your childern to set their own morals, but how can you tell them what is right and wrong if you don’t believe in a universal truth? How can you ever correct their behavior, since what they are doing at the time would have to confrom to their morals at the time or else they wouldn’t be doing it?
@Cheri
I don’t believe an arbitrary group of people “hearing things from god” get to set the moral standard for my family. I believe in being a charitable neighbor, helping people, and positively contributing to my community. I just don’t believe a mythical bearded man in the clouds needs to tell me that is how I should live. It’s common, polite, respectful sense.
Its been a very long time since I’ve been in church and it was a Baptist church. I loved it, but I believe if everyone would look at say…..the thing with the gay community and Chic fil a, they will understand what you are talking about. I have several gay friends and there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for them. During all the controversay tho, it was the “religous” people that we saying that gays deserved to die because they are aboninations and go against God. My only thought was “REALLY??” For all those that believe that God is perfect and never makes mistakes, and that he has a master plan and made man in his image; ask yourselves this, if everything you believe is true, then how in the world can being gay be wrong? Gays were made the same as straights, but yet they aren’t free to love…sorry but EVERYONE is entitled to love and to be loved. Religion teaches people to hate those that IT says are wrong. Love is never wrong.
I believe that we live on thru our children and do on by what we teach them, the morals and truths we instill in them and the love we give them. In turn they’ll pass that on to their children and so forth. I also believe in letting my children choose for themselves how they want to live their lives and will accept them no matter what. I myself have been athiest since I was about ten years old but i give them all sides of all “stories” and let them make the choices themselves. Same as with ear piercing, I’m not piercing their ears soon after they’re born cuz they might n
I am a Christian and believe that God exists and that Jesus is my Lord and savior! All of you non-believers need to be prayed for!
I can’t begin to imagine a life without my God. But for the grace of God, I am here. I don’t understand atheist because that means they believe in nothing so ow can there be atheists? I don’t know. What I do know is that He walks by my side daily, helping me to do the best I can do & to have trust & faith in Him. No, you don’t have to go to church to believe in God but it’s like everything else, if you socialize & fellowship with those of your beliefs or support groups or whatever, it definitely gives you all the more strength. I need to know His word, be thankful that His son died for me, a peon that is human & makes mistakes but I know I’m forgiven because He died for our sins so that we might live. That is everyone’s choice & has been offered to each & everyone of us…& up to us to accept Him as our personal Savior, believe & to live in His name. I don’t do for myself, I do things for the glory of Him & in His name. God is still God, God will always be God & give God all the glory! That’s what I will do!
I am so sorry to hear some of these comments about the idea of going to Church. I was raised Catholic and attended Mass every Sunday as a Family. I went to Catholic Schools and went to Mass every morning.(except Saturdays). I wasn’t forced to go, my parents came from Germany and we were taught that going to Mass was a privilege not an demand. You cannot tell me that any Priest will tell you “I demand you attend Mass”, instead they stand outside after Mass and thank you for coming. I still believe it is a privilege to go to church because my religion has taught me to have faith, love one another. So many children out there now without some kind of religion grow up without love in their hearts, they become angry with their parents and talk back, they have no respect for other people, this is what the church teaches you.Love one another. I know some parents say they can teach them that, but lets get real, they NEED someone higher than you to have faith in. Tell you what I am going to do, I am going to pray even harder now for you non-believers, you know who you are. I know I want to feel secure in God graces because I want to spend eternity with God. Peace be with you.
I am very involved in my religion, and so is my husband, and so are my two young sons. BUT… I believe in tolerance, and I appreciate the way you choose to share what you believe while not exactly bashing on those of us who believe differently. No, my religion does not accept homosexuality as an acceptable way of life, but we (I think it’s “we”, but maybe I better speak for myself and say “I”) would never discount someone as a friend of deny them aid if they were in need of help simply because of the lifestyle they chose. And I certainly don’t personally believe they should be punished by death. I am more than happy to explain my beliefs and my way of life to anyone who chooses to ask, but you’re entitled to yours as well.
So I just hope everyone is happy.
I completely agree with what the writer of the article is saying. I too was brought up Catholic and forced to participate in things I didn’t believe in for years. I now have a 2 yr old son, and I will NEVER force him to go to church or catholic school or anything to do with religion. If/when the time comes and he wants to join a religion, I’ll support him because that is what HE believes in, but in no way, shape or form will I force my child to choose a religion before he is capable of making that decision himself. If he grows up and decides he wants to be a buddhist, then that’s HIS choice. I don’t believe it should be OUR choice what he believes in.
I am a christian and while I don’t believe in telling others how to live, I think you’ve got it all wrong. In church hate isn’t preached the bible is and if you read and understand what god in the bible is saying you understand a few things. 1. He tells us to love one another as our self. 2. He doesn’t regard one person above the other.3. Does he hate sin? Yes. Does he hate the sinner? No. if he did he wouldn’t have come down and died for us. I hope you would keep an open mind should your kids ever want to go to church.
Wow, you took the words out of my mouth. Seriously, this is exactly how I raised my kids who are now 33 and 31 years old. They are hard working, honest, happy and spiritual people. I am so very proud of them. If my children ever decide to become Catholic, Buddhist, Wiccan, Gay, firemen or whatever I will still be very proud of them. Oh, and please don’t anyone pray for me unless you also believe pigs can fly.
I love this post. I love everything about it. I know how pissy people get & how they look down on you when you say there’s no God, so thanks for putting this out there. Just know there are more like-minded people out there than you think.
God created every human every person born and unborn. We are his children whether we choose to serve him or reject him. And being that we are “born”, then we “die”. It is a true fact that every person and animal breathes will take a last breath, that includes those who love him and serve him and those that reject him. Being a creation, having fallen to sin, we as humans are destined to die, as the earth is predicted to in God’s word. Its what happens to a persons spirit at the moment of that last breath is everything we’ve lived for and each human spirit finds out at the moment of death, whether they want to go or not! I would hope and pray that you find salvation before that last breath. Otherwise, what is done, is done. Jesus came and took all the rejection and is still being rejected today. He’s no fairy tale, his birth was foretold, his death and a second coming is predicted to happen at some time in mans existence. He is merciful and forgiving but especially to those who sin. This earth, these heavens and mankind are his perfect creation and one day, he will take the sin out of the world. Its sad to see you use Christianity as an excuse to turn away. It isn’t God’s sin, its mans own sin and one day they will be accountable. Look at the history of Christianity, its volitile and explosive but those are not representative of what his word says you are as a follower. Those who love him will keep his commandments and live according to his word. So those Catholics who do wrong, its not the Christian, the believer that does that, its mans falling to sin. So, blame it on what it is. Sin, done by man. Will pray for you and your children and hope by someones witness it will help you find your journey to him.
ive a lot of friends who were raised in strict catholic family and turned into “very good” atheist. And it wasnt hard to understand why.
They’ve now found the right path and God.
But I wont preach you. My religion was badly portrayed in the media. If you really want to find God, go outside the media, into the real world. Meet all kind of people.
There are Gods. People cant even control the sun, the rain, the gravity, the life, the death or the beats of the heart.
I can agree with most of his points of view. He is someone that was raised in the church and not as a holiday member ie. Easter and Christmas. He learned the stories and like me a kid that was a science buff asked questions when things didn’t add up. I’m not catholic so a lot of that non sense doesn’t bring conflict in my life. Like the choice of women to have an abortion for what ever her reason is. The use of birth control. And who does and doesn’t get into heaven. Which is supposed to be based on being good or atleast humble enough to just pray and ask forgiveness. There is no requirement to have church in your life if you and your family work every day to be good people honest forgiving of your own short comings and forgive others. Right is right wrong is wrong religion doesn’t decide that your parents teach you that. Faith doesn’t heal but science on occasion does why would something written thousands of years ago guide your modern life make decisions based on what’s best for you and your family because the so called moral right of the church show us every day in the news that their morals aren’t so pure.
I totally love this article! Good for you for not being afraid to say what you feel! My parents never forced religion on me as a kid, but they did let me go to Bible School when I was about 6. I came home and told my mom that I wasn’t sure that I believed in all that “Jesus stuff” and she told me that it was OK and that I didn’t have to. That was the best advice she ever gave me and I plan on being the same towards my kid!
I am a SEEKER OF TRUTH……
First let me say that I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins. Here is something that I often think about when I hear parents call themselves athiests. Suppose there is a God and you were sent to hell when you died because you denied Christ. Hell is going to be awful no doubt about it. But the greatest agony may be suffering in hell knowing that you did nothing to keep your child from also going to hell. Is it worth it in the end to put so much energy into being an atheist? To me being an atheist is just another form of religion. If you don’t believe in God then why fight so hard to discredit him? I know I don’t know you but I truly hope the best for you and your family.
@Kim see the tweet from Ricky Gervais in the post above. Telling me I’m going to hell is about as scary as telling me Santa won’t bring me presents this year.
Santa is not real. Hell is not real. Ergo, your threats mean nothing to me.
Dear sir,
I respect your reasoning although I disagree. Man is the one who spouts, encourages and acts out hatered. It has been so since the beginning of time. Jesus taught to love your neighbor as you love yourself. He also said the greatest commandment is love. It’s so simple to ask for his mercy and forgiveness. I’ll pray for you.
@JEFFLANDRY Any real Christian would tell you what I’m about to tell you. You may think you are Christian but you aren’t. You aren’t even a hypocrite. You’re just narrow-minded, hateful and stupid. More of the planet (including millions of Christians that people like you make look bad) would think this planet would be better off without YOU. How dare you condemn children to hell?! Who do you think you are?!
Unfortunately, I can understand why you feel so strongly against church and God…I am Christian, but I am SO disappointed in how judgmental some of my fellow believers are…if I was not raised in a faithful home that modeled after Jesus Christ himself, I would not want to pursue christianity, either…honestly, I’ve been hurt worse by fellow believers than by anyone in a bar or at a party…Christianity, if modeled after Christ himself, is a very peaceful, loving way to live….however, most churches have made their own set of rules to follow, which tends to eliminate the example that Christ himself set for us…it can be very confusing…I feel for people, really….Christians are not always the best example of living like Christ.
I have seen many people fall away from God who were raised catholic because they teach hypocrisy. However, had you been introduced to God instead of false doctrine…we would not be having this discussion now. Christian means Christ follower…not pope follower.
That said, I find it incredible for someone who is ignorant of the Bible and God to say yea or nay against it or for it. If you have not honestly studied it for yourself, how can you form an informed opinion on the matter at all? And how can you presume to know what facts I possess and the findings of my own pursuit of truth? Because that IS what you are saying when you tell me that my beliefs are born of myth. You do not know why each of us believe as we do. So it is totally disrespectful to accuse believers of ignorance simply because you do not possess the same information that we do.
The Bible is totally compatible with all proven scientific facts. In fact, the Bible speaks of science long before people knew WHY we should wash our hands before we eat or anything at all about the weather. As time goes on and we learn more about our world, we come to understand why God said it is a sin to do this or that. Personally, I do not understand our Lord’s reasoning for the prohibition against homosexuality. Yet, I know God and I understand that He loves us and only wants the best for us. I have been given proof time and again of God’s love and existence. Over the years I have had many questions of things I did not understand and I have learned through the years that I can trust God. And that amazing things happen when I do. So I know that God does not hate gays, God wants those people to have the best life possible as well. He has given us a recipe for success.
And I have to say that I believe it to be against scientific principles to dismiss my own knowledge and beliefs simply because YOUR life and experiences with the catholic church have given way to confusion and bitterness.
Also, if as an atheist you have a live and let live philosophy then why would you spend any time at all trying to dismiss religious beliefs? For example, I do not spend any time at all debating on the existence or nonexistence of elves. ( I know someone who does not believe in God but fully believes in elves.) I am not offended that he believes in elves. I do not feel a need to preach a sermon in opposition to his beliefs. It’s okay with me that he has a different belief than I do. I do not need to insult him for it. It is a nonissue for me. If God is equal to elves in your eyes, then why is He such an issue for you?
@angelofnv – what a loving, tolerant, wonderful Christian you are. Thank you for proving many points.
I did not intend to make my previous post sound like a threat just something I think about as a parent.
In the words of Ghandi, “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.”
I too was raised in a conservative Christian family. Then I began to think for myself and realize it’s used as a tool for evil and a crutch by some. I still have faith, but have been burned from organized Christian religion.
While I am not an atheist I have shied away from organized religion for years. My personal experience with churches is that’s is a bunch of people who stand waiting to judge you for your mistakes. Spouting superiority over you because they “found Christ” before you and simply because they are a few years older or experiences wiser are better than you and you should take their advice. Forming their cliques,avoiding secular society and anything in the now of reality. Oh and dressing in their dated stupid dresses and Payless pumps. If that’s judgemental then oh well. I am human. I do believe in God and will probably never set foot in a church because a group of humans (while well intended) just does not have the intelligence necessary to maintain a healthy and spiritually.inspirational atmosphere without trying to CONTROL people. I hope to instill the basics- respect others as you want to be respected.
Well said.
I grew up in a spiritually eclectic family. A holiday event would often include a Catholic Monsignor, Southern Baptist minister, Mormon Bishop and/or missionaries, & a Rosicrucian faith healer (my great-aunt). Atheists, Humanists, Agnostics, everyone was welcome at my Grandmother’s home, Everyone was free to speak, and everyone was treated with respect and acceptance (not tolerance. Tolerance assumes that the other person is doing something wrong and you are just putting up with it).
As a young adult I was disappointed to discover that this level of acceptance was not the norm. All of these nice spiritual disciplines that I was exposed to growing up wanted to tell me, not just why they are the only right path, but why the others were wrong/bad/evil. Even those same family members & friends that impressed me so in my Grandmother’s presence were (once she was gone) willing and anxious to tell me what to think. The “kind” Baptist minister who enjoyed our families hospitality so often, shocked us at Grandma’s funeral by first expounding on her virtues and then expressing his sorrow that she would be going to hell because she did not believe what he believed.
So now I am older, and wiser (I hope). I am married with two teenage sons. Hubby is a recovering Mormon. 19yo attends & enjoys a Methodist church when he visits his father. 15yo self-identifies as an atheist. I am a Buddhist, Pagan, Christian (in short, I see truth everywhere). Most Sunday mornings we attend the local Unitarian Universalist society/church where, oddly enough, we are all welcome and accepted.
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Great post. I agree with you on all aspects here. Why can’t we just live and be good people? Why does something have to happen afterwards or why do we give all credit of good things not to our own hard work but to something else? I don’t understand why every believer is so quick to jump and defend their religion when you never see non-believers commenting on religious posts and telling them they’re going to the ground and nothing more. I would just raise my children to be good people and they can decide for themselves what they want to pursue as adults.
Interesting post.
What happens if your children decide to convert to the Catholic church? How will you feel about that? #genuinecuriosity
Kids get to live their own lives eventually, don’t they?