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My Rules for My Kids at Play Dates

Not in the house, brainiac.

My kids have reached the age now where they have play dates with their friends and classmates without anyone’s mother looking over their shoulder watching. It’s awful. Now I have to not only discipline my own kid, I have to discipline someone else’s kid, too.

That’s assuming I’m hosting the play date. I feel just as bad for the mother hosting MY kid at her house.

Believe me, it’s not like I think that when my kids go to their friends’ houses they are angels. Far from it. I know they’re not. As much as I try and drill my rules into their heads, I know that as soon as they’re out of my sight, they’re swinging from a chandelier like a monkey. (BTW, if my kid EVER swings from your light fixture, you have my permission to spank him/her. That sh*t is unacceptable.)

Actually, sometimes my kids don’t even wait until I’ve left the building to be complete and total nightmares. For instance, last week we were invited to a friend’s house for a water gun battle. Unbeknownst to me, Gomer arrived locked and loaded. We were waiting for everyone else to arrive, so I told him to put his gun down and have a seat. Within 5 minutes he’d soaked a friend. Are you kidding me, Gomer? You shot someone with a water gun in my friend’s living room?!

His response? “I only shot him in the face, mom. I barely got any water anywhere else.” Oh yeah, that makes it so much better.

“You know better,” I hissed at him. He does. Or at least I think he does … yes, yes, he does. He knows all of my play date rules and now I’ll share them with you.


 

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