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Never Have I Ever: Mom Edition

I don’t want to come out and say that I’m an indifferent parent; I’m just one of those parents who has priorities in addition to her children. And while my kids have always been and will continue to be my first and biggest priority, they get to own my heart – not every second of my day.

Call me selfish or lazy if you must, but there are things I just don’t do for my kids because I’m a grownup and I don’t have to. I’ve earned the right to decide the things that benefit my children most. I’ve also earned the right to ignore the lies that mom guilt would have me believe.

I’m a good – scratch that – great mom in spite of all that I don’t do, simply because the things I choose to do are done deliberately and with my whole heart.

If you’re a mother who does it all and then some, you might not want to stick around for this post. Might I suggest a jaunt over to Pinterest to create something amazing out of used toilet paper rolls and homegrown kale to celebrate fall’s impending arrival? Just a suggestion.

For the rest of you, let’s play a game! Surely you’re familiar with the adolescent game, “Never have I ever,” where you take turns revealing things you’ve never done. I think there’s usually drinking involved, so if you want to grab a tumbler of naughty juice before we get started, that’s cool.

 

  • Never have I ever… 1 of 13
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    OK, I'll go first. Check out my confessional "Never have I ever: Mom edition"!

  • Worn my baby 2 of 13
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    It's not that I'm opposed to babywearing, I just never knew much about it. If I had the chance to do it over again, I might never not wear my baby. Like ever. Come to mama!

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Taught my baby sign language 3 of 13
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    There are huge benefits to teaching your baby sign language. I even bought a book on it once that I used for a giant coaster.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Made my own baby food 4 of 13
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    I swear the road to hell is paved with book intentions. I bought a book on how to make baby food that I never cracked open, but I swear that I would have totally made my own baby food if they didn't already come in these convenient little jars that just twist open!

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Taught my toddler to read 5 of 13
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    What's up with all these crazy smart toddlers who know how to read and stuff? While I always read to my toddler kids, I never actually taught them to read. I wouldn't even know where to start with something like that and besides, that's what school is for.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Grown my family’s food 6 of 13
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    Not only have I never grown a single edible piece of food from our large enough yard, I don't buy organic.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Volunteered in the classroom 7 of 13
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    Oh, how I respect and admire parents who take the time to volunteer in my child's classroom, particularly so I don't have to.

  • Put my kids in sports 8 of 13
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    My kids have never really been in sports, save for a stint in bowling. Is bowling really even a considered a sport? I didn't think so.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Joined the PTA 9 of 13
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    I will gladly give my dollars to the PTA, just so long as I don't have to give my time (or list my phone number in the parent handbook).

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Chaperoned a field trip 10 of 13
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    Me, responsible for the safety and well-being of other people's school-aged kids? Um, no thank you. 

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Hosted a big birthday bash 11 of 13
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    I've hosted but one birthday party for my 5-year-old to date and even then there were only four kids in attendance.

  • Gone camping with my kids 12 of 13
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    My kids are dying, dying I say, to go camping and we still haven't gone yet. Why? Because pretending to be homeless hardly sounds like fun.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Gotten crafty 13 of 13
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    I have two artistic kids; kids far more creative than I could ever be. Sure, I could arrange for some magical Pinteresty crafting session, but then I'd have to like, arrange for some magical Pinteresty crafting session.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

 

Parents, now it’s your turn! Never have you ever…

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