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"Not Another One!" 10 Things I Wish My Kid Wouldn't Collect

“How can one tiny baby require so much stuff?”

I asked my husband that question over and over while putting together our baby registry years ago. Little did I know we hadn’t even begun our battle with kid-related clutter. The real problem came when my children were old enough to collect their own things and subsequently refuse to part with them whether they used them regularly or not.

Our house is overrun with the things our kids collect. Toys, books, things they find on the ground outside — sometimes it feels like we can’t leave the house without coming back with something to add to their treasury.

Between the two of them, they have several collections going. Here are just a few things my children collect that make me long for the return of yard sale weather:

 


  • Action Figures 1 of 10
    Action Figures
    It's not the action figures I am against: it's the growing pile of their severed arms and legs my son adds to daily. How these superheroes keep suffering such misfortune I do not know, but my son now has quite the collection of plastic limbs.
    Photo credit: Flickr user jdhancock
  • Beyblades 2 of 10
    Beyblades
    I'm not sure who had the bright idea that we should turn a classic toy like the top into a complicated, many pieced, object to be pitted against one another for sport, but I wish they hadn't told my son about them.
    Get them at Amazon, $39.97
  • Insects 3 of 10
    Insects
    The day my kid began collecting insects is the day I took on a new job as buggy coroner. I then had the pleasure of pronouncing all of his captives dead and disposing of their remains. It's even less fun than it sounds.
    Photo credit: Flickr user b1gw1ght
  • Happy Meal Toys 4 of 10
    Happy Meal Toys
    It's always great when your kid begins collecting something that brings you great shame. The only person I have to blame for this one is myself. Maybe I should use that stove thing in my kitchen more often.
    Photo credit: Flickr user beaugiles
  • Jibbitz 5 of 10
    Jibbitz
    How could I have known when I caved to my child's questionable taste in footwear that he would soon collect four dozen decorative Jibbitz? The only thing worse than the meltdowns that occur when he loses one is the brute force it takes to wrench them free of the shoe when he wants to change them out every hour.
    Photo credit: Flickr user renaissancechambara
  • PEZ Dispensers 6 of 10
    PEZ Dispensers
    Due to their strategic placement in the check-out line at the grocery store, we currently own approximately two dozen of these. Try and suppress your jealousy.
    Photo credit: Flickr user stevensnodgrass
  • Polly Pockets 7 of 10
    Polly Pockets
    Have you ever lost an afternoon attempting to extricate a tiny plastic skirt from your vacuum cleaner while your screaming child looks on in horror? If it doesn't sound like an experience you would treasure, I suggest that you do not allow your child to collect Polly Pockets and the microscopic accessories that come along with them.
    Get them at Amazon, $15.55
  • Rocks 8 of 10
    Rocks
    The upside of my son's rock collection is that he never throws them or tries to cram them up his nose. The downside is that he requires they be wet at all times. You see, they're shinier that way, and who wants a rock collection that isn't shiny? This also means I am constantly fishing wet rocks out of every sink in the house.
    Photo credit: Stock.xchng
  • Stickers 9 of 10
    Stickers
    My kid misses the whole point of collecting with these. I'm not even sure you are allowed to say you collect stickers when you are liberally applying them to every surface of our home.
    Photo credit: Flickr user brandijordan
  • Stuffed Animals 10 of 10
    Stuffed Animals
    Is there anything more useless than a stuffed animal? Yes, there is. How about fifty stuffed animals? I'm convinced these things actually mate and reproduce. My son insists on sleeping beneath his collection of them every night. I believe these to be the sole reason yard sales were invented.
    Photo credit: Flickr user sneddon

Also on Babble: 50 toy fads we can’t believe we fell for!

Read more from Amber on her blog The Daily Doty.

You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter!


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