I lived in a co-ed dorm building my freshman year of college and an off-campus apartment my sophomore to senior years. I went from two roommates (we all shared a big room with 3 twin beds), to one roommate (we had our own rooms—thank God). We were in different majors, so it was nice not to be spending so much time together. Our classes and schedules weren’t shared, and there were no fights over the shower. We bought our own food and split the rent and bills. We were cordial, not best friends, but friends enough.
My living situation was comfortable—which is why I am feeling for Shasten Snellgroves, a junior at NYU, who says the college is forcing her to share her living space with her roommate’s four-year-old kid. Wait, WHAT?
The deal is, NYU’s sign-in policy says the child can spend every day in her room and sleep over six nights a month. As a woman who got pregnant three years after college graduation, I feel so blessed and lucky that I got to experience college.
I got my education, but I got the experience too and you know what I’m talking about: the parties, the coming home at 4 AM and running to an 8:30 AM class in last night’s clothes. The beer in the fridge, the diet of rice and canned goods because I was poor, the boys, the all-night talks with your roomie, the solace of sleeping off a mega-hangover, the quiet I needed to write my papers, study, and do my homework. The anxiety attacks and crying on the phone to my parents, then calming down. Having friends from home visit for the weekend. The general ups and downs of college life—would I want a kid to experience me in college? All of me … I’m not revealing anything else, but hell no! Said kid would be traumatized.
But what really has me fired up, is that NYU is comparing Snellgrove’s complaint over sharing her living space with a 4-year-old kid, to that of being uncomfortable with having a homosexual roommate. WHAT?!
Based on her statement to NYU, which you can read here, it’s clear that this is hardly the case. She is concerned the child will disrupt her studies. (Trust me, the child will! My life is disrupted on the reg. Side note: I love you forever, JD.) She is worried the kid will get into her wine in the fridge (ah, we all need wine), slip in the tub (scary!), mistake her meds for candy (yipes!)—these are all valid concerns. I have a kid and I’m on this student’s side, not the mom’s. I’m switching teams.
I’m pretty sure Snellgrove is also annoyed that she can’t blast music on a Tuesday night, because the kiddo needs to get his rest. She probably feels uncomfortable inviting a date in, having, shy readers look away … sex, walking around in her undies, puking in the bathroom because she’s hungover—just a lovely glimpse of college life for Chrissy—but I graduated with a high 3.something GPA and was never arrested, I promise Babblers.
And while Snellgrove deserves her college experience and privacy, this 4-year-old deserves his experience too! I’m confused about his day-to-day while mom is in college, because the child is NOT allowed to attend classes—I assume he’s in daycare?
As you know, JD is five. When he was four, he was in preschool, played soccer on the weekends, had play-dates, took long bubble baths, rode his bike, played in the park and had, and continues to have, his moments as a kiddo. I applaud the mother who is working towards earning her degree to likely support her child (GO GIRL!!!), but I just can’t understand why she, or the University find it fair, safe, or sound to allow her child to live in a … dorm. Woo—if you have four years time, I can tell ya some stories.
Snellgrove and all college students that are not parents or responsible for kids, should get to experience college—not tantrums, chicken nuggets (well only if it’s drunk-food), cartoons (the annoying ones, I mean), pee on the toilet seat and everything else that comes with being … a gloriously, four-year-old kiddo!
As a mom, I wouldn’t want my kid in a mature, college setting where there could be a condom on a dresser, booze in the fridge, adult convos about politics, relationships and xyz … and people coming and going. It’s not fair to the kid, let alone Snellgrove. Sheesh!
With all that said … Snellgrove recently tweeted: “I am very happy to announce that my lovely roommate will now be moved to a single. Thanks @nyuhousing! Better situation for everyone.”
Discuss. Do you think NYU was wrong to allow the child to live in the dorm in the first place? How would you react if your roomie was of the preschool set? Share! PREVAIL SNELLGROVE!!
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