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Oh, the $%*& School Bus.

Fresh off the bus.

Seems that the greatest source of learning in grade school comes from the school bus. Sadly they’re not learning about quantum physics or Einstein’s theory of relativity. They’re talking about poop, pee, farts, swear words, their limited knowledge of sex and the ever present middle finger.

It gets better.

Addie’s bus only carries grades K-3.

Last year Addie stormed in the front door, held up her middle finger and shouted “HUNTER DID THIS TO ME.” We had a little talk about the bus, about what is inappropriate and how doing that can hurt peoples feelings (I didn’t tell her about the time I did it to my dad when I was about 8 and nearly DIED.) I then called Hunter’s mom who just happened to be having the same conversation with her son about that naughty birdie. They both told the tale that “Everyone on the bus does it.”

Needless to say there are two fewer kids doing it on the bus after their moms had a say in the matter.

I have talked to other moms who have kids who ride the bus and they tell similar tales. It’s as if the bus is some sort of secret clubhouse devoid of adult supervision where they can let all those mysterious words and theories fly among their fellow classmates. Every kid has a different environment at home meaning some are exposed to far more than others. I am pleased to say that Addie still believes me more than her friends when it comes to bus learning…but I know it won’t last forever.

Another story she came home with? “Todd told me girls have to take off all their clothes to kiss boys.”

First thought in my head? Girls don’t have to do a darn thing to get boys to kiss them. But we’ll save that unfortunate conversation for another day.

What has your kid learned on the bus?

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