On Giving Myself a Break and Realizing My Kids Will Be OKDevan McGuinness
There have been many times in my career as a parent where I’ve questioned if what I am doing is really going to mess my kids up. I’ve not done anything totally out there and believe I strongly have their best interests at heart, but sometimes I worry I just don’t cut it.
There is no one-size-fits-all handbook when it comes to raising kids. In fact, there are books and blogs and experts who all tout one thing is better than another, but there are opinions on all sides. Do you stay at home or is being a working mom a better model for your kids? Do you attachment parent or do the more hands-off route? Do you home school, public school or private school your kids? Organic foods or vegetarian only? Organized activities or unstructured play?
There are times where I feel like I have more questions than answers and at every turn, there’s some new study or new article that says what I am doing is wrong, or that there’s a better way to do things. I am a high-anxiety person by nature and add to that my perfectionist personality, I wonder if I will ever feel like I am doing enough for my kids.
Since I am now gestating another baby and 10 weeks in, the fatigue and all-the-time sick feelings are firmly here, I have had to let a lot of things go. I nap when I could be playing with my kids. I make quick dinners because anything else will cause my nausea to go into overdrive. I sleep in the morning and have my husband get up and get the kids out the door for school.
I haven’t been as active and fun with my children as I normally am and I feel bad. I tried for a few weeks to continue on as nothing was happening within my body, but the combination of normal pregnancy hormones added with that medication to keep my hyperemesis gravidarum to a minimum and a need to take daily drowsy allergy medication due to an allergic reaction to my very-important blood thinner injections — it all became too much.
And I had to let some things go and my parenting style and involvement in my everyday things had to give a little. I am thankful that I have a supportive husband who sees what I go through daily and has, without complaint, taken on the extra roles that I had to pass off. I am equally as thankful that, despite my worry that I will be messing my kids up by easing up on things and taking care of the extra work on my body, my kids are and will continue to be just fine.
Photo credit: istockphoto
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