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Our Crappy Field Trip

Does you kid go on field trips?  Do they go to places like museums or fun educational spaces?  Yeah, not my kid.  We got to go to…(wait for it)…Home Depot!  Yup, you read it right.  Home Depot!  WTF??

My poor kid.  Adolpha is the baby and she’s sat back for a number of years and watched Gomer go on some cool field trips.  He went to the pumpkin patch, bowling, a cool, interactive children’s museum, and an apple orchard to name a few.  Adolpha gets to go to Home Depot.  Sad thing is, she’s not even sure what she’s missing.

The month before we had a field trip to the local grocery store.  I kid you not, the manager asked 3-5 year olds: “Does anyone have any questions for the produce manager?”  Are you kidding me with that?  The highlight of that trip was the bakery because they each got a cookie.  The grocery store probably ranks higher since Home Depot didn’t give out a snack.

The Home Depot trip was just bizarre.  We had a tour of the store with a perky “associate” who showed us a giant saw, stacks of wood, bags of mulch and pointed out a few specials.  We couldn’t even build a bird house?  The kids got antsy and whiny after an hour (the mothers only lasted 15 minutes).  I will say though, I think we wiped them out of pink and purple paint samples – the girls went a little crazy and we didn’t stop them, it was the least Home Depot could do for them.

As we’re driving home, I asked Adolpha, “Did you enjoy your special field trip today?”

She said, “Yes, but I think the pumpkin patch is better.  The bus ride today was fun though.”

I understand that schools are cutting back and there isn’t much funding, but come on!  I am happy to chip in my six bucks so my kid can at least make a bird house or go to a museum.  These corporations invite the schools to come and “visit” for free and the tours just suck.  The kids are bored and have no clue what’s going on and the people giving the tours have no idea how to teach kids.  The moms hope a pallet of tile falls on us and puts us out of our misery, but we still manage to spend $25 before we leave. (Did you know there are special light bulbs just for dimming??  Well there are.  I got some that day.)  Not to mention, I paid for today as a “school” day and let me tell you, my kid learned jack today:  “This is carpet.  Does it feel soft or rough?  Do you have carpet in your house?”  Side note to the moms:  “We’re offering free installation through the end of the month!”

I just got a note home today from Gomer’s teacher about his upcoming field trip.  I don’t have the heart to tell Adolpha that Gomer is going to see the play “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”.  Now THAT’S worth missing school for!

Be sure to read my daily rants at People I Want to Punch in the Throat where you’re sure to laugh and/or might be offended (it’s where you can find my R-rated rants).

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Photo:  Koratmember

 

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