Someone on Twitter was recently asking opinions about parents going away for the weekend without the kids. That brought me up a little short because I’ve never actually done it. In fact, I’ve never even really wanted to.
Before I go on, let me make very clear that I am speaking only for myself and I have no issue at all with parents who take vaation without kids. It actually sounds great and I’m sure I’ll want to do it someday but so far I haven’t had that itch. I don’t know exactly why. Maybe because I worked out of the home for the first three and a half years of my older child’s life and I wanted to spend my spare moments with him. Or maybe because I’m a control freak who doesn’t want to hand off the kids to someone else. Hard to say at this point.
What I know for sure is that my son was 4 years old before we even spent a night under separate roofs. It was my 5th wedding anniversary and my husband and I treated ourselves to a night at the hotel where we spent our wedding night. My parents came down to visit and they had a fun movie night with our son while we headed into DC for our own private celebration. It went beautifully and was fun for everyone. But I’ve never repeated it. Since then, the only nights I’ve been away from my son are the nights I spent int he hospital after giving birth to my daughter last year.
I think some of my hesitance to leave the kids for a parent only getaway is that we don’t have family nearby to care for them. It would be different if grandma and grandpa were a regular presence in my kids’ lives. Not only would they be around to take over but the kids would be perfectly comfortable having them as stand-ins for my husband and me. As it is now, they come for visits and my kids love them but they’re not part of the usual rhythm of our lives and I’m not sure the kids would enjoy more than one night with them. Maybe they will when they’re bigger but not now.
The other side of my feeling has to do with the fact that my parents didn’t go on adults-only trips when I was growing up. It’s just not a part of my experience with being a child. Same with my husband, though when he was older he’d go to visit his grandparents by himself so there’s that.
I’m sure a time will come when a few days of no-kid time will be important to our relationship. Until then, I try to be good about scheduling date nights and taking time together in the usual hustle and bustle of our lives.
What about you? Do you take getaways without kids?
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