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I Said "Yes" to My Kindergartener and Became a Hero

Today, my five-year-old told me I was nice.  He told me he loved me.  He repeatedly said, “Thank you for being so nice today, you’re the best mama ever!”

You know why he said that?  I glued on a broken arm to his little worker guy.  He has countless of those little wax guys. How many come in a package at the dollar store? Fifty or something? Did I really want to waste my time tediously super-gluing a tiny arm onto a tiny guy when I could have so easily thrown it in the trash without him knowing?  I’ll admit, I didn’t want to do it.  But I had already made the decision to be the “yes” mom today.  So, I said, “yes.”

All too often I’m the “no” mom.

“Can I have another treat?”

“No, you didn’t eat your dinner.”

“Can I play XBOX now?”

“No, not until your jobs are done.”

“Can I have {this}…or will you buy me {that}…?”

“No.”

“Can I eat skittles for breakfast?”

“No. No. No.”

Quite honestly, I get tired of saying, “no.”  I know I don’t like it when people tell me “no.”  So why would my kids be happy with a “no” slammed in their faces all day?

Last year, my six-year-old daughter asked me if she could climb a really tall ladder up to the loft in her cousins room.  I thought..hmmm…I don’t really want her to break her arm or fall or blah, blah, blah.  So, I said, “No.” My dad was sitting there and as soon as my daughter walked away he got after me and said, “You know, you should try to find ways to say, “yes.”

Gulp.

He’s right.

I need to be better at thinking about what they want a little more before I give my automatic, “no.”  Half of the time I don’t even know why I say, “no.” It’s just easier and I think I’m doing it for their own good.  I mean, really, I can’t say “yes” to skittles for breakfast every day!  But every once in a while, I think a surprise “yes” can really make a difference. At least it did for us today.  It changed the feeling in our home.  Everyone was happier, more upbeat and willing to help each other.  And honestly, how long did it take me to glue on that silly little arm, play an extra game or draw an extra picture with my five-year-old?  Not much time at all.  And yet, it meant the world to my son.  I was a HERO!  I’m thinking I need to say, “yes” more often.

Do you find it easier to say, “yes” or “no” to your children?

 

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No Reason for Guilt

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