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My Biggest Wish For My Children. It's Possible, Right?

By Devan McGuinness |

Growing up I was always ‘entertained’ by someone. I have 2 brothers and a sister and we have always been really close — not only in age but our relationship as well. We had our tiny sibling fights obviously, but still to this day we all hang out all the time and talk nearly every day. It feels like having built-in best friends — people who know you better then anyone else and better than anyone else ever will.

When we were younger and would all go out to watch each other’s baseball games or cheer on someone’s art competition in the local fair, people used to mention to my parents how nice it must be that we get along. That is when I started to wonder if this was ‘normal’ — people seemed so surprised that we got along.

One of my biggest wishes for my children is for them to always get along. To not just love each other, but to like each other, too. To want to talk and hang out when they are older when life gets busy and its easy to let relationships slide.

When I look back at how I was raised, I can see just how great a job my parents did at ensuring we were all invested in each other’s lives.  I often wondered if it was because my brothers and sister and I are all close in age and that we grew up in near the same stage of life. Now that I watch my children interact and play and fight I am realizing more it has to do with family values, priorities and how we raise our kids (outside of other life circumstances that may occur when they are older).

I want that for my children. The built-in support system of people who genuinely care for each other. Who know each other like no one else.

I am so thankful I have that.

:: Do your kids get along? What do you think helps ensure they will not only love each other but like each other? ::

Read more from Devan on Accustomed ChaosUnspoken Grief
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Read More on Kid Scoop:
10 Dumbest Things Said To Me While Out With My Kids
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18 Things I Did In Childhood My Kids Wont Experience

photo credit: © Devan McGuinness

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About Devan McGuinness


Devan McGuinness

Devan McGuinness is the writer of the lifestyle website byDevan. After surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan founded Unspoken Grief, a resource and support site for perinatal and neonatal loss. Read bio and latest posts → Read Devan's latest posts →

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5 thoughts on “My Biggest Wish For My Children. It's Possible, Right?

  1. Tanya says:

    I highly agree that it has to do with family values. I want my boys to be close too. That means that I will do things in my home that promote respect, compassion, empathy and love. No name calling, teasing, bullying etc. Now don’t get me wrong, I know that things will not always be rainbows and butterflies but if I start teaching the values now, it will definately give a good foundation. I believe that it will also help with thier relationships outside of the home!

  2. El says:

    My kids are 6, 4, and 2 and are amazingly close. My friends have kids the same age who are not close at all. I often think my friends are more patient, more understanding, more fun and overall better parents than I am; but my kids love to be at home playing with each other so I must be doing something right.

  3. Tara says:

    I have a 6yr old daughter, 19mo old son and a 4mo old daughter. My 6yr old has always had a difficult time with my 19mo old. Everything I do to try and help her understand, she seems to push him away more and more. On the other hand, both my 6yr old and 19mo old are very good to my 4mo old. They love to help with her. I would love for all my kids to be close. Maybe not today, but some day it will happen(hopefully).

  4. April says:

    That is not something I can control or particularly care about. Maybe it is because I am an only child myself. I can hope my children will like each other as adults and be close, but in the end as long as they are individually happy and close to their parents, I don’t care if they speak to each other or not. Maybe that is a weird opinion, but I do know it is a realistic opinion. Everyone being one big happy family always and forever hardly ever happens. Siblings grow apart, move away, marry someone that the rest of the family may not get along with. My husband has a brother and a sister he never talks to. He never sees them but like once or twice a year at family things. I have nothing to do with them because they treat me like crap and I don’t like them. He has nothing in common with his siblings. My kids don’t know their cousins.

    That being said, we are all very happy without them. It is not something that you need to be happy.

  5. Stephanie says:

    Even if the kids are not close when they are young, i wouldn’t take that as a horrible thing. My sister and I are 2 years apart and we fought like cats and dogs pretty much our whole childhood. we banded together to stick up for each other against outsiders and still loved each other but in the home it was non stop bickering between us. Once we moved out of the house everything changed. We are as close now as 2 sisters can be now and we share each others pain and happiness. I can’t imagine not having a sister and only hope that my husband will agree to have a 2nd child one day so that our son can have the experience of having siblings as I did :)

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