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Sleep Stallers

Imagine coming home at the end of a long and busy day to have your dinner prepared. Then imagine getting all cleaned up and climbing into a nice warm bed to have your favorite book read to you while you drift off into a peaceful sleep. Would you fight it? I know I wouldn’t.

Well, kids are different. They fight sleep to the death, inspiring people to write books like Go the F**k to Sleep and go quietly insane. My kids are just like the rest of ‘em; they’re sleep stallers. They loathe the idea of lying in a horizontal position in a darkened and quiet room for a specified number of hours. What sounds like a mirage to the collective adult population is somehow likened to a nightly prison sentence by our children. Youth is indeed wasted on the young.

Boy Wonder is of the “Prince and the Pea” bed staller variety. His excuses include but are not limited to his room being: too hot, too cold, too bright, too dark, too loud or too quiet.

BooBoo, while less sophisticated in his sleep stalling technique, has true mastermind potential. He famously asks for water a minimum of 3 times, pretends to go potty repeatedly, continually asks for more hugs and kisses and for his grand finale, he pulls out all the stops with the “I’m so hungry” card. Every. Single. Night.

I’d be falling asleep at the computer if it wasn’t for 8e&#dfw%kqrke6 … Zzzzzzzzzzzzz … Ooo, sorry.

I’m thinking the difference of sleep opinion has everything to do with how we spend our waking hours. A child’s days are filled with creative learning, imaginative play and lots of fun, only interrupted by a few protested breaks for meals and potty visits. We adults don’t spend so much time engaged in creative learning, imaginative play and fun; we have responsibilities and stuff. And I don’t have to be the one to tell you sometimes our meal and potty breaks are the highlight of our day.

Parents are hella busy and hella tired and sure as heck aren’t stalling sleep. We savor it, right down to the 4th time we hit that snooze button every morning.

It’s no secret that children battle sleep for fear that they’ll miss something. If only they knew what they were missing past 8 p.m. included reality TV, dishwashing, and laundry.

Do you have clever sleep stallers?

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More on Kid Scoop:

Night Terrors: Horror for the Whole Family

You Can’t Handle the Sexy: My Night Without Kids

10 Things I’d Rather Do Than Host a Sleepover

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