If you’ve been a parent for more than, say, five minutes, you are probably fully aware of the fact that parenting is sometimes a full contact sport. Newborns unknowingly fling their tiny arms and head around, and if you’re not careful, you can bear the full brunt of a teeny left hook or headbutt. While you might not think that sounds painful, babies have an uncanny knack for causing maximum pain with their voilent outbursts.
And it only gets worse as they get older. Their heads get bigger and harder, and all that crawling only serves to strengthen their arm muscles. Don’t even get me started on their tiny legs of destruction, which, when pummeling you in the middle of the night, can feel like they carry the force of an Olympic weightlifter.
Sadly, a parenting mishap the other night left me looking like a prize fighter. I have a black eye, and I am placing the blame solely on the shoulders of my four year old.
I should have known that things weren’t going to end well when, after having spent three hours watching cartoons in the middle of the night with my insomniac toddler, Zachary woke up and told me he was going to throw up. And then he did. Again and again.
After the third (and what proved to be final) time, we headed out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. It was completely dark, and as I bent down to hold onto his shoulders, in an effort to guide him so that he didn’t run into anything, I walked right into the corner of the TV cabinet. With my eye.
So, after a night of very little sleep, my prize was a black eye. Lucky for me, both Oliver and Zachary were exhausted the next day, so my other prize was lots of lounging around and cuddling.
This parenting thing can be brutal sometimes.
Read more from Meghan on MeghanGWine and From Demo to Dream.
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