I read Marinka’s post about gifts that she does not want for Mother’s Day and it reminded me that Mother’s Day was coming. Oh great. I wonder what the Hubs and my kids will get me this year? An Xbox game? A membership to the gym? Free carwashes for a year?
Marinka’s family must be a bit better at gift giving than mine, because this year I have decided to ban entire stores from my family.
Here is my list of stores where my family cannot shop for a Mother’s Day present for me:
1. Home Depot/Lowe’s/Ace Hardware/Sears – No home improvement stores of any kind this year. In the past, on my first Mother’s Days with my children, the Hubs bought me a tree from someplace like this. I loved the idea at the time, but now I have two kids and two trees. I’m good on trees. I do not want mulch to go around them, I do not want cement sealer for the garage floor, I do not want new gutters.
2. Staples/Office Max – I work from home and there are many days that I like to go to my local office supply store and buy new pens. Is there anything better than new gel pens? Maybe some new Post-Its. However, I do not want my Mother’s Day gift to come from one of these stores. Yes, I need a new stapler, because Adolpha broke my other one – but not for Mother’s Day!
3. Game Stop – No, no, no, no. Don’t even think about it.
4. CVS/Walgreens/Duane Reade – I have a Snuggie already and I don’t want Pajama Jeans, the medicine cabinet is full and unless Hallmark ran out of cards because you waited too long, there should be no reason for you be shopping in these stores for my gift.
5. Quik Trip/Circle K/7-11 – Big Gulps, lottery tickets, and car washes are not on my list of must haves this year. I don’t even want a card from one of these joints.
6. Mall Jewelry Stores – Marinka touched on this one too. I do not want whatever $99 special the mall jewelry store is trying to unload this year. I don’t want the entwined hearts or the forever knot or the circle of life or whatever the hell their marketing people called it.
7. Bed, Bath & Beyond – In BB&B’s defense, there might actually be something there I’d like, but since you can’t stay away from random small appliances (we do not need a food dehydrator) and pots and pans (our 12 inch skillet can do the same thing a 4 inch skillet can do) I’m banning the whole store.
8. Sports Authority/Dick’s – No matter how cute an outfit you buy me is , the message is still the same: Your ass is big, mom, get to work.
9. Bass Pro Shop/Cabela’s – I do not need a duck call, camouflaged rainwear or a tent. I know I’m really into The Hunger Games, but even then I don’t want my own bow and arrow.
10. Victoria’s Secret – Seriously, Hubs? Keep moving.
Be sure to read my daily rants at People I Want to Punch in the Throat where you’re sure to laugh and/or might be offended (it’s where you can find my R-rated rants).
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