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Syllabus for Mom 101

student momUniversity of Life, Parenting Department

Fall Semester: Mom 101

Professor Yomamma

Course Objectives: To prepare students to work as hands-on moms for 18-25 years. Skills include stamina, patience, creativity, and reasonable tolerance for nonsense. Students will work in groups or in total isolation on mom skills during assigned class times and all the rest of the time as well to best simulate the mom work environment. Exams may be given at 3am.

Required reading:

  • Goodnight Moon
  • The Cat In the Hat
  • Pat the Bunny
  • The cooking instructions on frozen pizza

Optional reading:

  • The first two paragraphs of any newspaper article
  • Books that don’t rhyme

Labs:

  • Gag Reflex Suppression
  • Task Repetition (Sweeping, Picking Up Toys, Telling Kids to Find Their Shoes)
  • High-Speed Car Seat Buckling
  • Finding Public Potties In Time

Term Paper Topics:

  • Why We Use Our Words
  • Siblings Are Not Punching Bags
  • All Good Goldfishies Go To Heaven Through The Toilet
  • Five Activities to Fill the Final 90 Minutes Before Daddy Gets Home

Extra Credit Projects:

  • Fitted Sheet Folding
  • Stain Identification
  • Introduction of Unfamiliar Foods
  • Assembling High-End German-Made Tricycles
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