Teachable Moment: My Kid Shoplifted Today
You read that headline right. I’m red-faced. This afternoon I took JD to Party City for two reasons: to pick out his ninja-themed party plates, napkins, and favors and to order balloons for his kid party at a local karate gym. If you recall, I didn’t want to throw a par-tay, but, hey, you only turn 5 once, and we live in an area where this is what people do. We have big kid parties and eat cupcake cakes — there’s even “adult food.” The other reason we were at the mega party store was so I could pick some Halloween props up for an upcoming photo shoot at First for Women magazine. I told JD he was my star inter,n and he was super excited to hunt for a witch hat and cat kit.
We found both props fairly quickly. Success. Next, we headed to the theme party section, and I let JD pick out some ninja tattoos, ninja pencils and little ninja guys. I also have Ninjago Lego spinners from Lego (Thanks Lego!) to add in the goody bag. Upon checkout, JD obviously noticed the overflowing baskets of cheap toys and candies. I said “no” to all the candy requests. Then he found a mini plastic camera. When he pushed the button, it flashed. He loved and needed it. I had $42 in favors and a balloon order under my arm, so even though the camera was probably a buck I said, “No, absolutely not. You’re having a party, and you’ll get gifts from family and friends.” “But I want it!” he said in a whiny voice. “Then Uncle Carlo will get it for you on YOUR BIRTHDAY. Put it back!”
He threw a fit. I turned back to the clerk and paid. She said, “Go you, for not giving in!” It felt awesome. I’m awesome. Everything is under control. I can’t tell you how many times JD gets a random car or snack when we’re out running errands. The ice cream at the beach, the mini golf, the rides … The money madness must cease. The bank of mom is closed for withdrawals.
JD climbed into his booster, and when I went to secure the seatbelt across him — that’s when I saw light flash from his fist. “What is in your hand?!” I demanded. “Nothing,” JD said over a sneaky grin. Oh Jesus, my kid shoplifted. I had to peel his fingers, finger by finger to open his fist and there was … the mini freakin’ camera. “Get out of the car now!” I said in a stern, urgent no BS voice. “You stole that. Stealing is against the law!”
I dragged him back into the store. “Tell the nice lady what you did,” I said. JD hid behind me, hugging my thigh. “Now!” I said. “I took this,” he said and held up the mini camera. “What do you say,” I said. “Sorry,” he said in the most pitiful voice. “Now give it back,” I said. JD looked at me like I was speaking Greek. “But I waaaaaant it. Can’t you buy it!?” he asked. “I have no more money,” I said. I grabbed the camera from his hand and handed it back. JD burst into tears. On the way to the Jeep he told me he didn’t like me, I was mean and he hates all his toys at home. I told him I was giving his toys to Timmy, a very poor boy with no mom or dad, no money and minimum food. He lives with a helper in a tent in the woods and sometimes they don’t have toilet paper because they are so poor. Timmy is sad and lonely because he doesn’t have a mom to read to him, doesn’t go to preschool and sometimes only has canned corn for dinner. I looked at JD in the rearview mirror. He looked serious.
“Well where’s his mom and dad? Why doesn’t he have chicken nuggets? Why doesn’t he come to my school? He doesn’t even have one toy?”
“No, he’s very poor and sad and when we get home you’re collecting toys for him and we’re bringing them to his friend’s house (Goodwill).”
Silence.
“OK, mommy. I’m giving Timmy some of my cars,” he said. “We will bring him pizza too.”
“OK,” I said.
JD has been asking me questions about Timmy all afternoon. He also wanted to know if I was telling Eddie (our next door neighbor) that he stole. Eddie is a cop. I told him I wasn’t sure yet. (I texted Eddie promptly.)
JD is currently collecting toys for Timmy and not getting ice cream after dinner. Throwing down!!
Discuss.
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He only has “canned corn” for dinner? ROFL!
HAHAHA I’m sorry but I am DYING laughing at your Timmy story!! Freaking amazing…lives with a helper in a tent in the woods!?
In all seriousness though, that was really clever of you. Giving him a concrete example (even if it sounds ridiculous to an adult lol) about one poor little boy is much more relatable than telling him the toys are for Goodwill.
I think all families tell those sorts of harmless lies because that sh*t works! Once, when we were kids my little brother was acting up horribly at family friend’s house. We told him that the family friend’s teenage son had a secret brother, Billy. He’d never met Billy, because Billy was so bad as a little boy that he had to be sent away to live in Hawaii until he turned 18 (in retrospect, not sure why we thought Hawaii was punishment.). Billy worked and lived in a prison for bad boys and only got let off the island to visit his family a couple times a year. An actual friend of the teenage son’s came by later, so we got the friend to pretend to be Billy, the hardened criminal, finally home for his visit. He told cautionary tales about little boy prison to my brother, and my brother was an ANGEL the rest of the day. We kept the facade up for a couple years and my brother would always toe the line whenever we brought Billy up–sometimes it was the only thing that worked! The friend even dutifully acted as “Billy” again next time we saw him. My brother eventually copped on once he got older, and now that he’s an adult we just tease him about it.
Not only did you turn this into a teachable moment, but you’ll have a good story to tell JD when he gets older….and probably a good laugh about Timmy and his canned corn!
Oh poor Timmy! Shop lifting just came up over dinner with my parents… I guess I lifted TUMS from the checkout line when I was 4, the story goes that my mom didn’t know until we also go to the car and saw them in my hand. She marched me back to the store and I had to apologize to the customer service lady. As of today, 29 years later I have no memory of the event and I haven’t stolen anything since.
Oh Christine!! I LOVE the Timmy story so much that I am going to use it on my child when she gets older. You did a great job with this situation!
It totally happens. I’ll never forget as a kid – my little sister stole a pack of gum from the grocery store. My parents discovered it when they got home. My father drove her back to the store, asked to speak to the manager, and made her give it back to the manager. She never did it again.
WOW…what a reaction he got! It amazes me what kids think of to do at such a young age. The fact that he was hiding it so desperately really shows how he knew this was not the “right” thing.
Again thanks for sharing!
Great teachable moment…temptation is just so hard for kids and parents and grandparents can use these times to teach them that they cannot have everything just because they want it.
No parents and he lives with a…helper…in the woods. This isn’t a true story, is it, Christine? You teach JD not to lie, too, I’m sure. Come on, man, you didn’t have to invent a poor kid with a worse-than-Lifetime-movie story of a life. There’s plenty of real kids that benefit from Goodwill, even if you don’t know their names. You could still tell him that. I’m sure it was just a sudden decision to create a forest-dwelling orphan with a right-hand man. You’re still awesome with the handling of the situation, though. That’s embarrassing for everyone involved.
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OMG Christine!!! Did you tell him you’re going to tell Uncle Anti-Social?? LOL! Love, love, love the quick thinking story about Timmy. Do you think that will work with a certain 7 year old?? I’m gonna try & I’ll let you know what happens. Can I bust his little toosh this weekend at the beach??
“Mark who lives across the street” gets my four year old son’s toys, etc. When he does something like this. And he stole mentos-yuk, mentos of all things! And when I made him return it, he called me the worse thing he could think of-”you’re an OLD mama!”. He gets REALLY upset when I call myself old, so I guess it’s a swear word to him. Admittedly, I had to hold my breath so I wouldn’t laugh when he said that.
loved your story!!! will use it with my daughter when she grows up if I ever need it haha. Thanks for sharing it
Way to go Mom!!! The Timmy story has me cracking up at my desk, but I can see myself doing the same thing to my son if he decides to have sticky fingers some day.
When my son was 3 he stole a tootsie pop from the neighborhood convenience store. . . right under my nose. . . after I said no! I found it when we got home, walked him right back to the store and made him fess up. He had such big blue eyes, and such a sweet face, the lady told him thank you for telling her the truth, . . . and bought him another one. Well, I tried. Anyway, I know in his 30 some years he has been a very honest man. His little brother shoplifted from the grocery store when they were in their teens, got arrested, and Casey got a ride home from the cop instead, cause he was so pissed at his brother. I had to pick the other one up at the station, and still wonder what he was thinking. He’s a dad now and I think I will relate this story to him for good measure! Thanks.