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The 10 Moms You Meet in Elementary School

By Lori Garcia |

Oh, elementary school. If you’re a fan of people watching like I am, you know there are three fantastic places in which to do your social grazing: 1) Theme parks 2) Walmart 3) Elementary schools.

Already I’m feeling like a mean girl for writing this post but I’m actually a really nice person with a mild obsession of the human condition. Ever since I left my full-time job to be a work-at-home mama, I’ve resorted to getting my daily sociology fix from the afterschool pickup routine.

There are certain mom types one encounters at school. I’m sure each type is more lovely than the last, so don’t think I’m here to hate on the mommy masses; quite the contrary. I’m simply a reporter of observations.

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The Mom Types-Kind of Mothers You Meet at Elementary School

Million Kids Mom

You know her when you see her. She's that mom responsible for a million kids and doesn't seem the slightest bit flustered by it. She mothers with ease and confidence. Lady, what's your secret? I have a fraction of your brood and I can't keep it together!

Lemme have it; who did I miss?

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About Lori Garcia

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Lori Garcia

Lori Garcia is a writer and mother of two living and loving in Southern California. When she's not fussing with her bangs, you can find her shaking her groove thing on her personal blog, Mommyfriend where she almost never combines true tales of motherhood and mayhem with her degree in child development. Read bio and latest posts → Read Lori's latest posts →

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41 thoughts on “The 10 Moms You Meet in Elementary School

  1. story says:

    Ah, you didn’t notice the quiet mom. No one ever notices the quiet mom.

    1. mommyfriend says:

      Story, I plum forgot about Quiet Mom! Most excellent call!

  2. @MamaLawma says:

    Chief Executive Mother (“CEM”): This is the mom who opens the car door and her briefcase along with a child fall out. She blocks the loading zone for 5 extra minutes while putting on professional shoes and applying mascara. CEM is best friends with Late Mom. However, Volunteer Mom wants to be BFF’s with CEM and stalks her every single morning in the parking lot attempting to persuade her join numerous parent clubs etc. etc. Leave me…errr CEM…alone Volunteer Mom! CEM secretly desires to be The Pajama Mama.

    1. mommyfriend says:

      MamaLawma, this is why I love you. Me + You = BFF

  3. Grandmom says:

    You also forgot the newest member of the mom group…..The Grandmother Mom.
    There are more and more of the grandmothers who are doing the Mom gig. She is always very early, tries to make sure nothing is forgotten, and usually is a crafty wizard!

  4. Adrienne Mcallister says:

    Omg these additions have me hysterical! I am a pajama mom and maybe popular mom. I am definitely mom to a million kids and i get flustered away from school eye :) I wish I was super fit mom and fabulous mom though, pre kids that was me ;)

  5. Mags says:

    Don’t forget the over-anxious, kindergarten mom! ( I know her, cause I am her!)

  6. mommyfriend says:

    Grandmom, how on earth could I forget you! You are hands down the nicest mommy of the bunch and coincidentally, the only mommy who ever talks to me.

  7. Emma Apple says:

    I, too, noticed you forgot the quiet Mom.

    What about the special needs Mom, not to be mistaken for the ambush mom, she is the one waiting for the ambush mom to leave so she can communicate with the teacher about more important things than a spelling test.

    Also, what about he Dad who drops off/picks up the kids? ;)

  8. Hilary Stewart says:

    “hoochie mama” lol, sorry can’t think of a better name, you know who I’m talking about tho! The “lady” who is 40+ but still trying to wear her 14 year old daughters clothes, and usually not enough of them (WAAAY too short shorts, etc). I live in SoCal tho, so maybe that’s just here?

  9. Candice says:

    I love this! I’d have to say I’m volunteer mom, but I know some of them all and a mix of some of them all! :)

  10. @MamaLawma says:

    HOOCHIE MAMA! hahahahahahahaha…we have those in Nor Cal too ;-)

  11. @MamaLawma says:

    The Green Mom: Prius set to eco-mode, with Late Mom or CEM riding her bumper, she cruises into the parking lot ever so quietly at a snail’s pace. Her children’s veggie sandwiches, prepared from food grown in their sustainable garden, are packed carefully into their hemp backpacks. She smells of patchouli and needs her hair cut. GOOOO, punch that Prius, Lady, we’re late!

    I like this game! Cheers to all of us Mom-types. We make me laugh! And, yes, Grandmom is by far the nicest and wisest of the bunch!

  12. mommyfriend says:

    You ladies rock my bloggy socks! I think this post needs a facelift!

  13. Kate says:

    What about Young Mom? You know, the one who’s at least 10-15 years younger than all the other moms? Sometimes this mom might be Late Mom, Fabulous Mom, Hoochie Mom or a combination thereof!

  14. Rhonda says:

    Oh the hoochie mom! That’s my favorite one to watch. Priceless.

    I am the last one I think, along with a little bit of lateness. Although I’m not sure why because I volunteer and I wear age appropriate clothing! But I can’t seem to make friends with the other mothers.

  15. Monica says:

    I think popular mom and volunteer mom in some cases could be the same mom. At least that used to be me when I was the PTA president. Had to take a step back because it was too much. But I knew all of the teachers and staff and many of the parents. Sometimes I had parents I didn’t even know coming up to me to talk to me. It’s kind of nice being the quiet mom now though ;) .

  16. Kacee says:

    What about Hipster Mom?? She and Green Mom are friends, but she’s too cool for a Prius or Patchouli. Her kid only wears T-Shirts with retro brand logos on them and one star Chucks. She cusses a lot and lives, eats, and breaths Whole Foods. Hates anything popular or mainstream.

  17. MommyMelendez says:

    You missed tattooed, subculture mom.

  18. April says:

    I am anxious mom. I have one child with special needs and another child with a life threatening peanut allergy. So I come across always as the mom with a harried look in her eyes and I appear to hover and always appear anxious. Because my kids are always on the precipice of death or totally freaking out on me.

    I also have popular mom in me. I host a lot of parties and playdates so I know a lot of the moms and kids.

  19. Lisa says:

    Love the Grand-mom addition! I am not my children’s grandmother, however I am certainly old enough to be! Our 10-year old was adopted when I was 38 and the 8-year-old when I was 40! The Walmart checker asked my then 4-year-old if she was having a nice day shopping with “grandma”. Indignantly, my sweet girl said, ” That is my MOM! NOT GRANDMA!” needless to say, we stopped at the drugstore on the way home to pick out something to cover my pre-mature grey!!

  20. The Culture Mom says:

    How about the stressed mom? That’s me! I’m the late mom, too.

  21. Elan says:

    oh the teacher ambusher….make an appointment! We want to talk to you, but give us a chance to breath at the end of the day and let us be prepared to talk to you!

  22. Anon says:

    At my kid’s school, there are lots of dads there. My favorite types of dads are Chip-off-the-old-block dad, whose son or sons look and dress exactly like him, and Scary-looking dad, whose tender holding of the hands of multiple children seems incongruous with his appearance. Yes, there are more than one of each of these dads!

  23. Taylor says:

    LMAO Im a mix of, special needs mom and Pajama mom. I spend too much time avoiding a melt down and cleaning up the tornado mess to even bother putting on regular clothes. my day to day wardrobe consists of exercise pants and a t-shirt. unless I have somewhere to go I am in my comfy clothes. LMAO I have been known to take my son to the buss stop in my pjs and robe LMAO. the only downside to this regular wardrobe is if you have been to lazy for too long in the exercise department you dont realize you have out grown your jeans untill you actually need to wear them to not look like you just rolled out of bed. I wanna be super Fabulofit mom. (fabulous mom/super fit mom)

  24. Jackie Hennessey says:

    Sarah Jessica Parker, thank you for writing this article. You rock! I can so relate.

  25. Maggie says:

    the “young mom” Sadly, that would be me. On more than 1 occasion, I’m mistaken for a student. I get the whole “oh are these your sisters?” and sometimes, I get the mortifying “How old were you when you had her? 12??”
    This makes it very difficult to be taken seriously!! I stopped trying PTA meetings, volunteering, or any of that fun stuff. Too many looks, especially at open house night, when they ask you to sign up for the PTA and other stuff.

    Please, be nice to the “young” mothers. I was in my early 20s, but even as I push 40, I look ridiculously young.

  26. Ashley says:

    Maggie, I totally feel for you! I’m a combination of the quiet trendy young mom. I had my oldest at 17 (1 month before I turned 18) so I totally know how you feel! I also quit trying to do the PTA thing because the others moms try to make you feel inferior to them, but little do they know, their kids are the ones that come & talk to us cause we make them feel more comfortable when they have issues with other kids like being bullied or trouble with a teacher. & I refuse not to be a trendy mom & my kids will wear stylish clothes & have anything else to not be an outcast because let’s face it..KIDS ARE MEAN! I personally think they learn it from the Snobby mom.

  27. Karen says:

    What about kid mom…the one who knows every kid’s name and has the kid’s yelling ‘Hi ______’s mom! Hi _______’s mom!’ in the hallways. The kid’s all love them and I’m jealous. And as far as dad’s go…you’ve got perfect dad (the one who actually wants to take their kid to school), rushing to work dad (just kicking the kid out the door as the car slows down), super achiever dad (goes to every family night and school function) and hot dad who can be combined with any of the above. Love those hot dads!

  28. Nicole says:

    How about Combo Mom? That’s me! I am a combo of alot of those mamas! I have 4 kids, 2 special needs, I stalk the teachers to see how my kiddos are doing, I know all the kids, staff and moms and dads in school in seems, I volunteer in all 3 of my kiddos classrooms, I am late ALOT..lol, I help out with school events/PTA, drive my kiddos to extra curricullars, and I used to be young mom.. that sucked for me cause noone took me seriously. I just turned 30!! :) I secretly wish I was fit mom..lol That’s a hard one with 4 kiddos..

  29. janie says:

    How about texter mom?? The one who rips your door off while drooping off her student and texting at the same time?

  30. Benson says:

    And then there’s “Over the Top” mom? She volunteers for everything. Comes to every single school function, stands up in front of people at awards ceremony to get a picture of her kid on the stage. She brings in store-bought cupcakes, juice boxes and goodie bags on her kids’ birthday. Other mom’s wish she would back off so they can do something too.

  31. Caroline says:

    Benson we (lovingly) call those moms you describe as “moms with a capital M”

  32. Erin says:

    Don’t forget the “It’s really about me” mom. I met one this year. Rare (I hope) type of mom who volunteers for everything, then forgets to show up or needs to “check her email” because she’s sure you gave her the wrong date! Starts crying in front of everyone because the teacher didn’t ask her to run the class party. You can tell this parent from the rest because it’s never private emails or phone calls, she needs to make a scene. Maybe wants to be seen as volunteer mom but doesn’t want to actually put in the work.

  33. sarah says:

    How about the Stepmom/Dad’s Girlfriend or Tries-too-Hard Other Mom. None of the mom’s want to talk to her because she’s not the “real” mom. Even though she shows up and supports the kids, and is trying really hard to figure it out with kids she did not raise from birth. That was me a couple years ago. It sucks, but with time you relax enough into it to be the other types.

  34. Heidi Lawrence says:

    Just one more reason why women are labeled as catty. Seriously? Now PARENTS of elementary school kids have to be put into groups and labels? Wasn’t this what we went through High School for – and now we’re done and beyond this. What are we teaching our kids – don’t we have anything better to do with our time?

  35. JBC says:

    Anyone notice that nearly every, single picture was a thin, white woman. I guess their are many types of mom-personalities but only one accepted mom-type body.

  36. taunya says:

    Forgot working mom – you know the mom who shows up for teacher/parent confrence and the teacher wonders who she is becuase she thought the daycare provider was the mom. Then the mom spends the entire time hitting ignore on here phone during the entire confrence. – Shoot thats me! :(

    1. Susie Brown says:

      I’m the “do I really have to be here for this” mom. I do not like the back-to-school picnics. Five different ways to make BEAN salads. Really!! Call me, text me or E-mail me when it is important.

  37. Connie says:

    How about the “teacher mom” This is the mom that might not have time to check their kids homework because they have homework of their own. This is also the mom who can’t go to Christmas or Easter parties because they are always on the same day as their own class parties. I feel bad for my kids some days!

  38. Christine says:

    How about the I can’t believe I am doing this at my age mom. Been there done that mom. Yes I will be 60 when my son graduates high school mom. Of course I know how not to get preggo! Tenses things happen mom.

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