As I’ve mentioned before, my kids and I aren’t always the best at communicating with each other. It often seems as though we are speaking two completely different languages.
And then there are the times where, instead of not understanding what I’m saying, they’ve understood it perfectly. Which is to say that they understood what it is that they wanted to hear, and not necessarily what I actually said.
When I read Katie’s post over on Being Pregnant, about what she says versus what her husband hears, I really started to think about how often this happens in our life. So I thought I would put together a list of the most common occurrences. At least one of these things happens on a daily basis in our house.
Check it out below, and then tell me, does this happen in your family? Is there something you would add to the list?
Going to the Bathroom 1 of 10I say: "Go to the bathroom."
They hear: "Continue to hold yourself and dance around the living room until you almost pee your pants. Then, please feel free to pee all over the toilet seat and floor because you simply can't hold it long enough to get yourself positioned over the toilet."
The result: I either yell at them to "JUST GO ALREADY" or I spend another 5 minutes of my life cleaning pee off of the bathroom floor, while they cry because they've managed to also pee on the front of their pants and underwear.
Photo Credit: BradleyGee via Flickr
No Dessert For You! 2 of 10I say: "Eat your dinner, or you don't get dessert."
They hear: "You don't have to finish your dinner. I'll still happily give you ice cream and candy later, so be sure to ask me incessantly."
The result: *I* end up eating double the dessert, just to prove a point. As a bonus, I get to go on a shopping spree to buy myself new pants...in a larger size.
Photo credit: Jamieanne via Flickr
Hamper? What? 3 of 10I say: "Please put your clothes with the dirty laundry."
They hear: "Go ahead and toss your clothes anywhere. The living room floor is a great spot."
The result: We can NEVER, EVER find any socks, and the floor underneath our couch becomes a hiding ground for dust bunnies AND articles of clothing.
Photo credit: John Morgan via Flickr
Don’t Wake Up the Baby! 4 of 10I say: "The baby is sleeping. Please be quiet."
They hear: "Now would be the PERFECT time for a really loud game of indoor soccer. And you can absolutely use the door to the baby's room as one of your goals!"
The result: A very unhappy mom comforting a very unhappy baby. Also, two very unhappy brothers who have been forced into silence for the remainder of nap time.
Mud Magnets 5 of 10I say: "Try not to get dirty, we are going to (insert place where we have to look decent here)."
They hear: "I just had you change into nice, clean clothes so you could go outside and jump in the mud puddle a few times. Please be sure to get dirt in your hair, too!"
The result: We show up at dinner with children who resemble Pigpen. But I guess people are probably be used to it to it by now.
Photo credit: SoapyLoveDeb via Flickr
Milk? Or SODA!? 6 of 10I say: "Do you want water or milk?"
They hear: "Hey, kids! We're having soda with dinner! Please name every type you can think of until I say yes!"
The result: They get milk. And I get another glass of wine.
Photo credit: Vox Efx via Flickr
Shhhhhhhh 7 of 10I say: "Please be quiet, your dad and I are trying to watch this show."
They hear: "Molecular physics and the inner workings of the human body? I'd love to discuss those things with you, in depth, right this very moment. Please ask me any and every question you can possibly think of!"
The result: We spend 2 hours watching a 30 minute program because we have to stop and rewind it so many times. Also, my kids are probably very confused, thanks to some of the answers I made up in an effort to shut them up.
Photo credit: Bazule via Flickr
Brush Your Teeth 8 of 10I say: "Time for bed, go brush your teeth."
They hear: "Why don't you guys head into the bathroom, fight over who gets to open the toothpaste, and then forget to brush your teeth completely."
The result: They come out of the bathroom ten minutes later, still arguing. I ask them if they've brushed their teeth and they look at each other like, "OH. THAT'S what we were supposed to be doing." Lather, rinse, repeat.
Photo credit: Janmi_ via Flickr
Getting Dressed 9 of 10I say: "Get dressed, we're going to be late for school."
They hear: "Don't worry about getting dressed. You can absolutely continue to sit on the couch and stare absently at the cartoon that you've seen 8,000 times because your baby brother will ONLY WATCH THIS PARTICULAR SHOW every morning of his life."
The result: They frantically get dressed as I make a big show of getting my things together while threatening to leave them behind. Also, I now dream to the tune of songs from Nickelodeon's Bubble Guppies.
Wrestling 10 of 10I say: "Stop wrestling with each other. Right now."
They hear: "Get in one more jab, and be sure to make it a good one. I want to see some tears or blood."
The result: They are forced to sit on the couch and hold hands until the crying and/or bleeding stops. I am lucky enough to get yet another opportunity to perfect my technique for removing blood from upholstery. Hint: It involves hydrogen peroxide, a white cloth and lots of dabbing.
Photo credit: Available Light via Flickr
And stay tuned, I’m working on a “They Said/Mom Heard” edition, too!