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Things I Do Before I Go on a Trip

I’m leaving today to go to a writing conference.  I am very excited.  And exhausted.  Which is odd, because I haven’t even left yet.

I think it’s because unlike my husband who in anticipation of his business travel has to book his flight and hotel and pack his bag, my To Do List looked like this:

1. Remind kids and husband that I’ll be away Thursday-Sunday.  Every time I tell the kids, they will react as though this is Entirely New Information and then we will  have this conversation:  “Who will take care of stuff here?”  “You and dad will.” “Why are you going?” “Because I want to.” “Well, I want to go to California, can I go?” “No.”

2. Even though laundry day is Sunday, do the laundry mid-week because son’s baseball uniform is in there and asking my family to do laundry in my absence is Cruel and Unusual under the Eighth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

3. Make a pot roast giant enough to feed the Red Army, in case of an invasion.

4. Pre-nag kids about homework, piano practice and being good, upstanding citizens in my absence.

5. Change the litter box because, again, although litter box changing day is Saturday, why should the cat suffer? Also make mental note to toilet train the cat.

6.  Pet the cat extra to help ease feline-withdrawal on trip.

7. Get a pedicure. No one ever goes to a writing conference without getting a pedicure first. Everyone knows that.

8. Tell the kids how much you love them and hug them so much that they start to wonder if you’re dying and this whole “writing conference” thing is a ruse while you seek a miraculous treatment that will probably drain their college fund.

9. Say good bye to everyone a million times.  This does not help with item 8, by the way.

10. Pack.

And I can look forward to doing pretty much the same thing when I get back.

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