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Bizarre Things I’ve Said To My Children

By dadcamp |

Nathan Ripperger

The reason I have Twitter accounts for my children is to keep track of the strange, bizarre things that only kids will say.

Sentences like:

“Have you ever eaten a tuba fish sandwich?”

“I’ve got a cactus in my nose. It’s green and pointy and makes you sneeze.”

Father of four, Nathan Ripperger, has a great spin on the darndest things kids say and how to remember them. He has created works of art out of the things he’s said to them (usually in response to the crazy things they say and do).

“Every parent has that moment when they say to themselves ‘Wow, I can’t believe that came out of my mouth,’” he said. “For me this seemed like the logical thing to do to commemorate these unique times with my children in poster form.”

See 10 Things I’ve Said To My Kids after the jump.

Nathan has an Etsy store where you can buy the posters starting at $15 each. He also has some posters where he’s used Little Monsters as motivation to get his kids to do things like washing their hands, and washing their teeth.

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Dad Makes Posters Out Of Things He's Said To His Children

No The Leprechaun Is Staying In My Pocket

Image Credit Nathan Ripperger on Etsy

Those are awesome.

What sentences would you offer Nathan for future works? What crazy things have come out of your mouth?

Follow Buzz on Facebook or @dadcamp
Read more at DadCAMP or The Blog According to Buzz.

Here’s more from DadCAMP at Babble Kids:

Bizarre Things I’ve Said To My Children
12 Song Playlist Kids And Parents Can Agree On
Why Are We Obsessed With Facebooking Our Kids?

The most age-inappropriate toddler gear (what were they thinking?!)
25 horrifying photos of stuff kids have ruined
The 7 dumbest things I thought before I had a kid
15 ways NOT to raise your toddler
20 totally inappropriate vintage ads featuring children

More on Babble

About dadcamp



DadCAMP is Buzz Bishop, a dad, broadcaster, writer, and runner from Calgary, Alberta. When not working the mic on XL103, or wrangling his two boys, he's always training for another Team Diabetes marathon somewhere in the world. Read bio and latest posts → Read Buzz's latest posts →

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11 thoughts on “Bizarre Things I’ve Said To My Children

  1. FarmWife says:

    How about, “I don’t care if you *are* Spider-Man. You may not punch your dad in the testicles.”

  2. Chris B. says:

    “Don’t gesture with your chicken”

  3. Rebecca says:

    “do not pour your milk in your shoe.”

  4. Kat says:

    No, I don’t want to hold your booger for you, but thanks for the offer.

    Don’t lick the curtain, that’s nasty.

  5. Vanessa Zahel says:

    With four children I have found myself saying some of the strangest things, some usually in response to stranger questions. Recently: “Get that dinosaur out of your mouth”, “Yes, you do have to wash your body when taking a shower”, “Don’t put the lion in the tub, it goes in the toybox”, “Put the roach back” (talking about one of those plastic things they always get at Halloween), and many, many others. My sisters and I are talking about putting a book together of all the things our kids say. It should be a hoot!

  6. Shannon W. says:

    “Don’t you put that bunny tail in the mailbox!”

  7. Becca says:

    Eat your cookie, or I’m going to have to take it away.

  8. Cindy says:

    ONLY a parent with a child in diapers would understand this comment as one sees something on the carpet…”this better be a chocolate chip”…yup, said it.

  9. jjmk says:

    “I can’t hear you, I’m invisible”.
    “I don’t need a hat, I’ll just wear my head outside”.

  10. I had a particularly limber teenage daughter. More than once, I scolded, “Stop biting your toenails!”

  11. Wendy Kling says:

    after hearing a shriek from the bathroom that my 5 year old grandson was occupying, I yelled, ” did you just slam your wang doodle on the toilet seat?!! Luckily he did not..

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