Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition

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  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 1 of 26

    Open road

    Open road We just got a convertible a few weeks ago, so we have been driving around with the top down ... a lot! My 4-year-old son says from the backseat one day, "Mommy, why do you always have to drive around topless?!"

    Submitted by Rebecca

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 2 of 26

    Biologist in the making

    Biologist in the making My 4-year-old son's swim trunks fell down a bit at the pool yesterday, and he yelled, "Agh, Mommy, my gluteus maximus is hanging out!"

    Submitted by Jenny

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 3 of 26

    Honesty is the best policy

    Honesty is the best policy Me: I don’t know if I feel like working out ...
    Son (age 4): You’re gonna get fat ...

    Needless to say, I went to the gym.

    Submitted by Vanessa

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 4 of 26

    Punch on the rocks

    Punch on the rocks At home my son likes me to mix the kiwi punch with strawberry punch. We were at a birthday party, and my son was asked what kind of drink he wanted — he answered, “A mixed drink, please.”

    Submitted by Nj

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 5 of 26

    Benjamin Button

    Benjamin Button My three-year-old says, “Mom, can you hold me?” I say, “No, Logan, I can’t. You’ll have to walk.” He replies, “I can’t walk — I have bad knees!”

    Submitted by Heather

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 6 of 26

    Road trip rage

    Road trip rage We were driving to my mom’s, a 45-minute drive. Emma (my 6-year-old) was whining, "Are we there yet? When will we get there?" Over and over again. So Lexi, my 4-year-old, turns to her loudly (and annoyed) and says: "We'll get there when we get there! Now STOP!" I almost peed myself laughing.

    Submitted by Lori

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 7 of 26

    He's right

    He's right I told my six-year-old he was funny, and he replied, “Being funny attracts girls!”

    Submitted by Alisha

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 8 of 26

    An epic response

    An epic response I tried to carry too many grocery bags into the house, and one of the bags ripped just as I walked in the front door. My 3-year-old looks at me and says, "Well, that was an epic fail."

    Submitted by Cheryl

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 9 of 26

    Messy musings

    Messy musings My son said, “This place is messier than my sock drawer, but it sure smells better.” He’s 3.

    Submitted by Natalie

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 10 of 26

    Foreshadowing

    Foreshadowing My son is five, and his new phrase is “Um, mom, my attitude is coming,” and then he starts acting all crazy.

    Submitted by Jessica

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 11 of 26

    Downward dog

    Downward dog My niece told her dog to "shut up!" My sister told her that's not a nice thing to say; we don't say, “Shut up.” So she then looks at the still-barking dog and yells, "Shut down! Shut down!"

    Submitted by Lori

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 12 of 26

    Gender preference

    Gender preference At home eating McDonald’s — I had asked for the grilled chicken but got the breaded one — I complained under my breath, “Dang it! Why don’t they ever get the order right? I ask for grilled chicken and what do I get?” My 3 ½-year old looks at me and says, “What did you get, a boy chicken?”

    Submitted by Cheryl

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 13 of 26

    Crystal … blurry

    Crystal … blurry When asking my son if the point I made was "crystal clear," he turned to his brother and said, "I wonder what she'd do if I said she was a little blurry."

    Submitted by Denni

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 14 of 26

    Two out of three

    Two out of three “Your teeth are beautiful, your lips are beautiful, and your nose is kind of all greasy.” End of my ego trip.

    Submitted by Melissa

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 15 of 26

    All the way from the North Pole

    All the way from the North Pole “Mommy, can Santa hear when I toot?”

    Submitted by Sonja

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 16 of 26

    Future Casanova

    Future Casanova Bedtime-stalling tactic: “I dropped Mommy's kiss on the floor; I need a new one.”

    Submitted by Rachel

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 17 of 26

    We like the stork better

    We like the stork better My five-year-old just asked where babies come from. I said a stork, and she said, “No, your tummy explodes and then you poop them out.”

    Submitted by AnnMarie

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 18 of 26

    Rational thinking

    Rational thinking I told my 6-year-old he couldn’t have any candy so he grabbed Raisinettes. I asked him what he was doing and he said: “Mom, these are raisins. They are good for you. Don’t worry about the chocolate — it’s just extra flavor.”

    Submitted by Tammy

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 19 of 26

    Why, indeed

    Why, indeed “Why do they call it cremation? You don't turn into milk.”

    Submitted by Eileen

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 20 of 26

    At least it's still a planet

    At least it's still a planet My 3-year-old was asking the names of the planets in his rug. When we got to Uranus, he didn’t understand and asked again. After I repeated, "Uranus," he got mad and said "No, it’s NOT my anus!"

    Submitted by Kendra

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 21 of 26

    The dark ages

    The dark ages After I told my son how much I adore him and how I have spent 8 wonderful years with him so far, he said, "No, you have known me for 8 years and 9 months, and I remember it being dark in there!"

    Submitted by Rachel

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 22 of 26

    A small loan

    A small loan “Mom, can I borrow $1,000??”

    Submitted by Marion

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 23 of 26

    Metaphorically speaking

    Metaphorically speaking Asia: “Jhaleel, you’re pressing my buttons!”
    Jhaleel: “You have buttons, Miss Asia?”


    Submitted by Asia

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 24 of 26

    Slumber party

    Slumber party My 5-year-old says to his dad, “You can sleep in my bedroom, and I will sleep with mommy; I like her PJs."

    Submitted by Jessica

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 25 of 26

    Young philosopher

    Young philosopher Vivian’s latest random gem (she’s 3 ½): “My bones are my people, and my body is an airplane.” Whoa, deep.

    Submitted by Hillary

  • Funny Things Kids Say: Summer Edition 26 of 26

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