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The Funniest Things Our Kids Have Said

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  • The Funniest Things Our Kids Have Said 1 of 26

    Assume the position

    Assume the position

    I was squatting in the store looking at stuff on the bottom shelf, and my 2-year-old yelled, “Mommy, are you making poop?!”

    Submitted by Jessica

  • Funny Things Kids Say 2 of 26

    Say your prayers

    Say your prayers “Jesus, please let me have some more ice cream. Amen."

    Submitted by Tamra

  • Funny Things Kids Say 3 of 26

    Time to recharge

    Time to recharge I tell my 2-year-old that his ears must be tired because they’re not listening, and he responds, “Umm no, they’re not tired. I think their batteries died.”

    Submitted by Tricia

  • Funny Things Kids Say 4 of 26

    Outnumbered

    Outnumbered

    I'm currently 7-months pregnant. I have a 9-year-old boy and a 5-year-old girl. When I found out I was having a boy, I told my daughter, and she said, "Why does God keep giving me brothers?" Submitted by Jacqueline
  • Funny Things Kids Say 5 of 26

    Diagnosis

    Diagnosis 6-year-old: "Mom, I had a great day. I got lunch — wow, look at those birds — I had pizza."
    Mom (laughing): "I think you are ADD."
    6-year-old: "ADD? What’s that? Does that mean I’m pregnant?"

    Submitted by Jessica

  • Funny Things Kids Say 6 of 26

    Just stating the facts

    Just stating the facts My 3-year-old went up to a family friend and said, “Hey, you’re always brown, and I’m always white.” All we could do was laugh. He doesn’t know. He just knows his colors.

    Submitted by Jessica

  • Funny Things Kids Say 7 of 26

    Parents first

    Parents first At the age of 3, when being coaxed to give her great aunt a kiss, Maggie said, "YOU kiss her!"

    Submitted by Cindy

  • Funny Things Kids Say 8 of 26

    That’s what commas are for

    That’s what commas are for Mom: "She’s a baby. All she does is sleep, eat, poop."
    Little Boy: "Mommmm, that’s disgusting! Why does she eat poop?"

    Submitted by Jackie

  • Funny Things Kids Say 9 of 26

    Is that what they’re called?

    Is that what they’re called? "Mommy, I don’t want to wear shorts. I want to wear my LONG-SLEEVED PANTS!"

    Submitted by Elana

  • Funny Things Kids Say 10 of 26

    Hygiene is key

    Hygiene is key Sometimes I wear my hair “crunchy” when I don't feel like straightening it. My 4-year-old son announced very loudly in public, “It’s okay if you forgot to brush your hair today, Mommy, as long as you remembered to brush your teeth!”

    Submitted by Jenny

  • Funny Things Kids Say 11 of 26

    When, indeed?

    When, indeed? 3-year-old Meaghan: "When do I get to have a penis?"

    Submitted by Stephanie

  • Funny Things Kids Say 12 of 26

    Copycat

    Copycat I was breastfeeding my newest addition, and my 2-year-old said he wanted to eat, too, so I explained that I was breastfeeding. He yelled and said, "Me eat boobies, too!"

    Submitted by Nicky

  • Funny Things Kids Say 13 of 26

    Got Bud Light?

    Got Bud Light? When my son was four, his very NON-DRINKING, CHURCH-GOING grandparents took him to the grocery store, where he pointed to the beer and insisted they not forget "Daddy’s favorite drink."

    Submitted by Sami

  • Funny Things Kids Say 14 of 26

    A small misunderstanding

    A small misunderstanding We had just explained camping to our two-year-old when I walked into his room and heard his cat crying from his play tent. He said, “It’s okay, Mom. I’m just crapping with the cat.” Turns out we needed to work on how camping was pronounced.

    Submitted by Caitie

  • Funny Things Kids Say 15 of 26

    Priorities, priorities

    Priorities, priorities

    My 3-year-old told the doctor, "Will you please stop talking? I can't hear my game." Submitted by Jennifer
  • Funny Things Kids Say 16 of 26

    Pregnancy confusion, part I

    Pregnancy confusion, part I I am pregnant with baby number three right now, and my 3-year-old asked if I ate the baby that is growing in my belly. LOL!

    Submitted by Sam

  • Funny Things Kids Say 17 of 26

    Grass has feelings too

    Grass has feelings too When our neighbor was mowing the grass, my 4-year-old told me, “Mommy, the mans are hurting the grass. Tell them to stop!”

    Submitted by Teresah

  • Funny Things Kids Say 18 of 26

    Hey, big spender

    Hey, big spender I was at the bank with my 2-year-old, and the teller asked her how she was doing. She said, “I need some monies.”

    Submitted by Amy

  • Funny Things Kids Say 19 of 26

    No idea where he learned that one ...

    No idea where he learned that one …

    One of our daycare kids came up to me holding his head and said, "I have a headache. It's a bad one. It's pissin' me off." I had to turn my head real quick and giggle. He's 3. Submitted by Elizabeth
  • Funny Things Kids Say 20 of 26

    Mr. Fix It

    Mr. Fix It While in the potty-training process, my 3-year-old was standing at the potty for about 5 minutes. I said, “Go potty, Jayvion,” and he said, “I can’t. My wee-wee’s broken. I need a screwdriver and hammer to fix it.”

    Submitted by Jessica

  • Funny Things Kids Say 21 of 26

    The most wonderful time of the year

    The most wonderful time of the year A week before Easter, my 6-year-old asked, “Is it Peep season?”

    Submitted by Jenny

  • Funny Things Kids Say 22 of 26

    Assume the position

    Is that how it works? When my daughter was about 2 years old, she pooped on the floor in her room. She asked me to come see. I walked in her room and asked her what had happened. She said to me, “I don't know, it just fell out!” Of course I had to laugh at that!

    Submitted by Robin

  • Funny Things Kids Say 23 of 26

    Potty mouth

    Potty mouth My sister’s young son came home from preschool, and he used the word “damn.” My sister informed him that was a bad word, and he couldn't use it. He said, “Damn isn't a bad word. F--- is a bad word!”

    Submitted by Jennifer

  • Funny Things Kids Say 24 of 26

    Pregnancy confusion, part II

    Pregnancy confusion, part II I'm pregnant right now, and a few months ago while babysitting my 5-year-old niece, I was about to drink a glass of lemonade, and she yelled at me saying the lemonade was going to burn the baby's eyes.

    Submitted by Margaret

  • Funny Things Kids Say 25 of 26

    Returning the favor

    Returning the favor When I was preparing my 4-year-old nephew’s bath once, he said “So you bought this bubble bath for me?” I replied, “Yes, just for you!” and he said, “Thank you! I'm gonna have to buy you some bubble shower!”

    Submitted by Valerie

  • Funny Things Kids Say 26 of 26

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