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Things That I Don't Want My Kids To Do. Ever.

There are things that I don’t want my children to do.

Not the very horrible, unspeakable things, not the illegal things and the things that come with their own  Surgeon General warning, but things that my kids have hinted may be fun to try one day, in the not too distant future.





Click through to see what things I hope my children never do!

  • Be on a Reality TV Show 1 of 10
    Be on a Reality TV Show
    Or, Heaven Forbid, become a reality TV star. I love The Real Housewives as much as anyone, but I want my children far, far away from anything Bravo.
    Photo credit: MorgueFile
  • Get a Fake Bake or a Spray Tan 2 of 10
    Get a Fake Bake or a Spray Tan
    I want my children to save their skin and not fool with Mother Nature.
  • Extreme Sports 3 of 10
    Extreme Sports
    I don't want my kids to climb a tall mountain because it's there. Because I'll probably have to climb right behind them, yelling "zip up your sweater! You'll catch a chill!"
    Photo credit: MorgueFile
  • Get a Pilot’s License 4 of 10
    Get a Pilot's License
    Is it me, or are the planes really high in the sky? Terra Firma, baby!
    Photo credit: MorgueFile
  • Vote Republican 5 of 10
    Vote Republican
    Hey, I'm a Yellow Dog Democrat, and that one would hurt.
    Photo credit: MorgueFile
  • Play the Drums 6 of 10
    Play the Drums
    Noisily. In my house. Where I can hear it.
    Photo credit: MorgueFile
  • Pierce Anything Other Than Ears 7 of 10
    Pierce Anything Other Than Ears
    It looks ouchy. And I don't want my babies to do anything that's ouchy.
    Photo credit: MorgueFile
  • Hoard Cats 8 of 10
    Hoard Cats
    My kids and I love cats and although so far we've drawn the line (in the sand) at one, they often talk about how they'd like to "have a million" once they're older. I'm sure they're exaggerating.
    Photo credit: MorgueFile
  • Drop Out of College Like Jobs, Zuckerberg and Gates 9 of 10
    Drop Out of College Like Jobs, Zuckerberg and Gates
    Sure, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates all dropped out of college to do amazing things, but I don't want my kids to drop out and then sit around, asking for snacks. Stay in school, kids!
    Photo credit: MorgueFile
  • Write a Memoir 10 of 10
    Write a Memoir
    About all the things that their mom wouldn't let them do. Even though it would be totally true.
    Photo credit: MorgueFile

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