Welcome to Babble,
Sign Out

Get the Babble Newsletter

Already have an account? .

I Am Eating My Kids' Easter Candy. And You Can't Stop Me.

The victims of parental crime.

The moment your kids are born, you don’t matter. They are the first priority.

You will stop a train with your face, you’ll take a bullet in your chest, you will have every organ in your body transplanted to theirs if it meant they would survive. It’s unconditional love, and it’s instinctual.

This unconditional sacrificing by parents for children also applies to chocolate.

The chocolate that’s around the house at Christmas. The chocolate that’s around the house at Halloween. The chocolate that’s around the house at Valentine’s Day. The chocolate that’s around the house right now.

It is a right of parents to eat the chocolate so that the kids don’t.  We’re eating it to save the health of our children.  What I’ve done tonight isn’t a crime, it’s instinct.

As I write this, my kids have been asleep for about 45 minutes and I haven’t stopped stuffing my face with their bounty. I’ve bitten ears off rabbits, feet off chickens, and my computer sits in a puddle of shredded foil (I can never get it off in one piece).

I don’t need Jimmy Kimmel to convince me to eat all your candy, I’ll do it on my own thank you very much. I paid for it, I’m going to eat it.

I’m lucky, my kids enjoy the hunt more than the spoils. My oldest son won’t eat fish he catches, but he loves fishing. He won’t eat the chocolate he catches, but he loves the hunting. So I will eat all the chocolate, most likely by the end of tonight.

‘fess up. How much of your kids’ Easter haul have *you* stolen?

Follow Buzz on Facebook or @dadcamp
Read more at DadCAMP or The Blog According to Buzz.

Photo from rgbstock.com

Tagged as:

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.