10 Things I Hate About (Raising) You
Yes, yes. We love our kids. We do not regret having them. They give life meaning and bring us joy. Of course! But we’re so secure in our parentality that we can talk about the parts we hate, can’t we? Let’s commiserate.
10. Loading the Pez Dispenser (It’s the worst!)
9. Holding Garbage (Being the depository for wrappers, old gum, and other cast-offs does nothing for my self-esteem)
8. Bare Hugs (Hey, it happens–toddler gets an owie when mommy is getting dressed–but we don’t have to like it)
7. Dinner (Every night! Even if I just made it last night?)
6. Setting “Goals” at Parent Teacher Conferences (How long are we going to keep up this charade?)
5. The Candor of Children (Even the rudest adult I know doesn’t tell me I have “a little bit fat of a bum”)
4. Peeling Undies out of Inside-Out Pants
3. When You Throw Back Your Head and Hit Me in the Face (Painful AND Infuriating)
2. Eating Gross Breakfasts in Bed that You Bring Me (Is it the thought that counts, really?)
1. Feces (Just, any kind)
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Oh, it IS universal, isn’t it!?
I will add: 11. playdough–seems fun and innocent enough, but it gets everywhere, you always forget about it and buy/make some more and the cycle continues. It’s like it’s a rule that to be a good mom you have to have some. . . at some time.
Yes.
I agree with all of this and Lisa’s play dough thoughts, too. Play dough is the pits!
so so funny. Thanks for keep it real.
My kids will walk past a garbage can to hand me their garbage. Makes me CRAZY!!!
#3 happened to me twice in 6 days by my 118 month old. He actually broke my nose. It still hurts, a week later. But at least the bruising is gone….
#6 was the one! I can not wait. Before we had kids we were called to be the Nursery leaders and I thought, why no have someone who made the choice to have kids be in here week after week. Now that I have a 2 year old in Nursery I would, quite literally, leave the church if they stuck me back in there! Those are my only 2 hours in a week. And when some teacher wants to ‘Set Goals’ I will look her in her eyes and say, “How long are we going to keep up this charade?”
How about my son said “that’s a big bum, huh mommy” to a lady at the store today. Pretty much all but #3 is a big one.
Lego shrapnel. When you least expect it.
So funny and true. #3 brings out my she devil. I’m pretty patient and loving but when you drill me in the nose/face all bets are off. Also I need to add some. 11. Putting gloves on their fingers. Have we checked into using that for terrorists? it would work. 12. “cuddling” where they sit on your lap in a constant state of movement and use every bone in their body to dig into every bone in your body. Love it.
thanks for making me laugh so hard!! Just what I needed the night before “the big day!” I put in a request for bagels for breakfast…heres hoping…
Ugh. #4′s got my vote. And the inside out socks too.
I love this list! Although I think I’d swap out vomit for feces. I’d rather take feces any day over vomit!
Dinner is #1 for me. Grocery shopping for dinner which I feel I do almost every day is close behind. I did get slammed in the chin (I believe) by one of my kids and it was totally infuriating, though I think I blocked out which child probably so I could continue to love/tolerate him/her. When my kids were younger I occasionally got poked in the eye right by one of them usually around 5:00 or 6:00 in the evening when you have just about had enough!?! The teachers at our school have never mentioned goals during teacher conferences (guess I lucked out, or maybe they have low expectations…lol). Love your blog and your babble…
# 8 My four- year old barges in on me while I’m trying to wrap the towel around myself after a shower, runs over gives me a hug, and announces “I love your boobies.”
# 5 My sons watching Shreck 2 for the first time takes one look at Fiona, and says Mommy.
# 3 when my younger son was eighteen months old busted my lip, and dislocated me collar bone.
#1 some day I’m going to write a parenting book called there will be poop
Remembering not to swear in front of them; teaching them to wipe their bottom; and cleaning up wee from around the toilet left by boys to have bad aim.
Number three is the one that gets me. I can’t stand it! It’s just so painful, and you know they dont mean to do it but, it raises my anger level like 10 notches haha.
Oh and to add one more, yelling in your ear. :<
4 is the one I dislike the most my 11year old still leaves her panties inside her jeans when she takes them off no matter how many times I remimd her to separate them before I do londre
Every single one applies! Missing tho is… Do I really need to tell you to go potty? Why can’t you just go? I mean you walked past the bathroom to tell me you needed to go!
If I just told your brother something chances are it applies to you…. Why must I repeat it 4 times?
And hotwheels…. Ok they are awesome to play with… But have you ever stepped on them? Or had one fly across the room and smack you right across the bridge of your nose???
Leaving toys in places they dont belong or suving them under the bed one day while makimg my.daughters bed I ended up with the finger tips of a barby under my big toenail ouch
this week, my particular nemis’ are #4 and 3. 7 is an ongoing issue here too. fortunately, most of the others are still on my “look out for” list as we haven’t hit those stages yet. and as to playdough. DH will not allow it in our house, and I know exactly why. DD was given some as a birthday gift last year. it still sits on the shelf, in it’s original plastic shrink wrap. maybe we’ll be re-gifting that.
and yes, missing the one about why do you run past the bathroom to come tell me you need to potty? LoL, we experience that one multiple times a day at our house. as well as the legos and hotwheels – worst toys to find on the floor in the dark!
The only one that really got me was #3. Guess my kid’s too young….
Peeling undies off inside-out pants—-YES! Never really realized it irritated me until I read ur blog!!!! List is endless…agree 2 all: Lego shrapnel, old play dough….
Love this! I absolutely hate that pez dispenser. I idiotically bought a whole holiday pack of them. Now I have hid the dispensers till the candy runs out. I love the comments added to the list! The rude but to young to know comments that never come out of your kids mouth until your in public get me the worse. my oldest is now getting to old for that one, let’s hope he doesn”t as he just began saying sentences….
Yes to all of them! (except no one’s ever served me breakfast in bed) Ditto on legos, playdough, and hot wheels. I would like to add glitter to the list! Has anyone ever figured out how to get this crap out of hair and carpet? Seriously, I was forced to wear a glitter tiara once and 2 months later, I was still seeing little glimmers of gold on my scalp!
11. Snot. That is all.
12. Never being able to pee in privacy… (seriously, the minute my butt hits that seat some catastrophe that requires immediate mom consultation follows.)
The cooking doesn’t bother me. Other things do, though. Glitter. Glitter is the herpes of craft products. Having my toddler insist I eat something that ends up being dog food. That was already in her mouth. Oh, and when my oldest daughter was 2 she screamed at me and launched a full sippy cup of milk at my nose and broke it and busted my lip. I had to run out the room. That was the closest I’ve come to fury with regards to my children. If I had stayed in the room with her, I may have launched the cup back at her. I don’t think cps would want to hear “But she started it!”
#3…..YES! Why do they do that?! My toddler just chipped my front tooth because of that. Back to the dentist to get it taken care of.
Love this list AND the comments!! My 22 month old bruised the heck out of my wrist throwing her cup at me yet again!! That girl has an arm!!
One more to add: when they are in the biting stage and they get you in a tender spot! nder the arm, inside your thigh when they’re clinging on your legs, I’ve even been bit on the boob! It hurts like heck and always catches you off gaurd!
High five on the Pez dispenser. What the hell?!
I’m gonna have to add potty training! I HATE potty training!!!