I was cajoling my kids to help me clean up after dinner (to the tune of Gangnam Style, if need be) and I paused to check my Twitter feed. And the news was terrible and I so wish I could un-see it.
A NYC mom returned home from running an errand to discover the unspeakable. Her two young children stabbed (fatally, we would later learn) and their caregiver with what appeared to be self-inflicted wounds.
Sometimes the world just doesn’t make sense. The news is unbearable, doesn’t add up. That a nanny, a trusted nanny would intentionally cause harm to the children, the children that she must have loved? How do we process something like that? How do we, as parents, reconcile the world we know and the one we’re terrified of?
It’s just all so familiar. Having a nanny, a full-time babysitter is a fact of life for so many families that I know. For ten years or so, it was a fact of my family’s life. I worked outside the home and we hired a woman to take care of our children. We interviewed a few candidates, we got recommendations, we did a background check, and we went with our gut. Because hiring someone to take care of your children is unlike hiring someone to do any other job in the world. Hiring someone to take care of your children is hiring them to tend to your very heart.
So how do we make sense of the senseless? As mothers, as parents, how do we process a family’s tragedy?
Unfortunately, I don’t think we can. When I looked at some reports online, I saw ugly, cruel comments from the keyboard warriors. I reject them entirely. I know that as a mother, as a parent and a human being, I’m crying for this family’s devastation. As I’ve cried for so many other families’ losses over the years. I so wish the world we lived in was different. I so wish no parent would ever lose a child.
I wish the world would make sense again. But maybe it never did.
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Photo credit: Wiki
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