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20 Hilarious Valentine's Day Cards NOT Safe For Kids

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and while all us parents are busy cutting red heart construction paper and baking sparkly cookies for our kids, we can’t forget about our fun too.

I love a good Valentine’s Day gift — I love when they are thought out and funny and I don’t like to take life too seriously. I’ve said before, I am not a romantic person and I don’t really care for the gooey, mushy “I love you stuff”.

Don’t bother with the required flowers or chocolate and bring on the laughs and sarcasm — that’s the key to my heart. I can’t be the only Mom who feels this way so I went looking for some off-the-wall-not-typical-love cards and found some dripping with humor, inappropriate and sarcasm. I knew they had to be out there!

Click for 20 hilarious cards for Valentine’s Day NOT appropriate for your kids:


  • You Have a Nice … 1 of 20
    You Have a Nice ...
    Not sure about the donkey but it tells a message.
    Get yours from: etsy
  • You Turn Me On… 2 of 20
    You Turn Me On...
    Words of love right there
    Get yours from: Jack Cards
  • Fries With That? 3 of 20
    Fries With That?
    Nothing beats fast food romance.
    Get yours from: etsy
  • I Get a Heart On 4 of 20
    I Get a Heart On
    Cleaver and sexy.. heh.
    Get yours from: etsy
  • Let’s Pork 5 of 20
    Let's Pork
    Good enough reason for me... again not sure about the animal choice through.
    Get yours from: etsy
  • Fiscally Conservative 6 of 20
    Fiscally Conservative
    Tight on money?
    Get yours from: Some E Cards
  • You Have Your Cats 7 of 20
    You Have Your Cats
    Oh but how much those cats love you ...
    Get yours from: etsy
  • The Special Stuff 8 of 20
    The Special Stuff
    Special nights call for special things
    Get yours from: Some E Cards
  • Let’s … 9 of 20
    Let's ...
    Gets right to the point
    Get yours from: etsy
  • It Won’t Fit 10 of 20
    It Won't Fit
    Mystery always works on us.
    Get yours from: Some E Cards
  • Meh. 11 of 20
    Meh.
    You know, if you're unsure.
    Get yours from: Cafe Press
  • Ouch 12 of 20
    Ouch
    Unlucky in love?
    Get yours from: Cafe Press
  • You Suck 13 of 20
    You Suck
    If you have to send a card but you really don't want to.
    Get yours from: Cafe Press
  • Barf 14 of 20
    Barf
    Not everyone likes valentine's day... or not everyone has someone to celebrate with.
    Get yours from: Cafe Press
  • Love Bites 15 of 20
    Love Bites
    From the single man ...
    Get yours from: etsy
  • Spaghetti, Sushi, Tacos, & You 16 of 20
    Spaghetti, Sushi, Tacos, & You
    What do these things have in common?
    Get yours from: etsy
  • I Will Pretend 17 of 20
    I Will Pretend
    Yeah, that's a fair trade.
    Get yours from: Some E Cards
  • Love is in the Air. 18 of 20
    Love is in the Air.
    What else is Valentine's Day for?
    Get yours from: etsy
  • Sorry It’s the Only Ring 19 of 20
    Sorry It's the Only Ring
    If you're not ready to propose yet.
    Get yours from: Some E Cards
  • It’s A Whole Lot. 20 of 20
    It's A Whole Lot.
    That is a big statement...
    Get yours from: etsy

:: What will you be doing to celebrate Valentine’s day this year? ::

Read more from Devan on Accustomed ChaosUnspoken Grief
Follow Devan on Facebook and Twitter for all updates!
Want more? Find me on Being Pregnant

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Read More on Kid Scoop:
You Look Great in Your Sweatpants: 10 Things Any SAHM Would Love to Hear
Unconditional Love & 10 More Things Being a Mom Has Given Me
Laugh Hard and Often: 22 Life Lessons For My Daughters

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