As you all know, I’m a solo single mom. The father doesn’t see JD—in fact, they have never met. I have sole physical and legal custody of JD. This translates to JD being with me 24/7 and his father can visit if he wants to. This also means if I have personal errands to run and no one to watch JD, I either cancel or take him along. Some of you may find the following places completely inappropriate places to take a little boy … but oh well, I’m surviving.
1. The OB-GYN.
Yes, you read that right. Last year my yearly came around. My mom was supposed to watch JD, but she was sick. I couldn’t cancel because I needed my birth control refilled. I took him. JD played with the model plastic vagina and told the doctor that delivered him it was a monster’s mouth. I turned red. When it came time to do the down south business, JD stood by my head and I distracted him. After all, that really does take only a few seconds even though most women, me included, wig out. It wasn’t ideal, but I had no other choice.
2. My lawyer’s office.
The only time I visit my darling Italian lawyer is when I have business regarding child support or money JD’s father owes me. I don’t like to talk about the father in front of JD, so we talk in code. JD usually colors or chats with my lawyer’s assistant. He’s oblivious that we’re talking about his father.
3. To get my lip waxed.
Look, I’m Italian and it’s genetics, people. I know I could buy wax at the store, but I just can’t wax myself—and, ahem, any part of myself. I literally can’t. Every now and then, JD sits on a chair while a woman rips hair off my lip. I don’t squeal “ouch” when he’s in the room. And, no —I never have or plan on taking him along to get my vag waxed. Boundaries.
4. The Doc.
As I mentioned on this blog a few times I have panic disorder. It sucks. I have to see my doc every 6 months for a checkup and refills. I don’t like taking JD along and letting him hear about my probs, but when I need my refills and don’t have a sitter, he comes. We also talk in code about panic attacks and stress. It’s not the best situation. My doc is awesome and a great listener. I like to unload and get my copay’s worth, but sometimes I just can’t. Comes with single mom territory.
5. My debut “Rattled!” reading in NYC.
A lot of people were a tad concerned that JD, not even 2, would freakout at my 7 PM reading in the West Village. There was no way I was going without my love, so I risked it. I stocked my diaper bag with milk, toys and pacifiers. One of the proudest moments of my life was pointing out MY BOOK to JD. It was in the storefront window. JD sat on my lap and helped me sign books. He was a hit. I was in his shadow. He shined. Sure, he cried and got over-tired, but I had family there to help out. It was a beautiful night and it would have meant nothing to me if JD wasn’t there. My fam took him home and my friends took me out to party after the reading. (JD also came to my NJ and California readings. I left him with Grandma when I went to Philly. I went to college in Philly and I wanted to … party. And I did!!)
6. For a pedicure.
Yep, I’m the mom in the nail salon with her kid. Well, I was today for the first time. I worked a half-day, needed a pedi and didn’t have a sitter. I made JD a deal: “If you behave, you pick the color.” *Cringe. I didn’t want blue nails.* He picked a bright shade of orange and was a complete angel the entire time. The ladies at the salon LOVED him. Patrons commented on his manners and cuteness (given, the cuteness). He loved the “foot bubble bath,” the “green, salty goo” and the pink lotion. The bath lit up in blue, green and purple when it bubbled. JD got a huge kick out of this “rainbow water!” He also pretended to dry his nails when I dried my toes. Adorable!!
The purpose of this blog is for me to send one clear message to moms of all walks. Our kids do not rule our lives. If we have something to do, or something we want to do, they can come along and behave … or get punished for misbehaving. I am a single mom with limited help and I have a life I need to maintain. Luckily my kid rules and rarely gives me crap on my important errands. And yes, getting my lip waxed twice a month is important. If I want a bottle of wine, I’m taking JD to the liquor store. If I want a guy friend to stop over and hang, he can and we keep it G until JD goes to bed. Eggshells, I shall not walk on.
It’s not like I’m bringing him along to pick out a new vibrator. I’d never do that. No, really.
Thank you. Jazz hands.
Do you take your kids on personal errands?
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