So What? We Parent Differently

We walked in the door just minutes before 7:00 pm, found our name tags and moved to the room full of chairs. I rightfully took my pregnant body over to the couch and got comfortable. My husband nestled in next to me and as he turned his phone on silent, I reminded him of his promise to have an open mind. I’m sure every couple had the same discussion just before entering. This was an evening, I’d guess, planned and instigated by the wives and now their husbands were sitting in a room full of strangers about to embark on the topic of families. Just what they wanted! Having attended other Power of Moms Retreats (and loved them) and being a Power of Moms trainer myself, I was familiar with the material and was attending this workshop to lend a supporting hand and allow my husband to get familiar with the system. I knew he would walk away from it with more to say than I typically do.

And I was right and I was also very surprised.

He opened up more than he normally does, offering suggestions and comments and revealing parenting thoughts I never knew he had with this group of strangers. Like, he doesn’t really believe in rules? Wow. We’ve been parenting for 7 years and I had never known some of his opinions. We each took a little quiz about our parenting and how we rate ourselves as parents. Our answers couldn’t have been more different.  Do we not have the same children? Apparently, we don’t talk enough about this! (Note to self: Talk more about parenting with spouse!)

One of the questions asked on paper was in regards to the current family legal system we have. His answer was, “Mom is the law.”

What are the strengths of our legal system? He wrote, “She is good and knows best-she’s always the bad guy.”

Hmmmmm.  Interesting.  I’ve never pictured myself as “the bad guy.” A witch, maybe, but not THE BAD GUY and that is a strength?

What are the weaknesses? He wrote, “Dad is the hero and not THE BAD GUY.”

Hmmmmm. So, so, so very interesting. I had no idea.

I was incredibly enlightened with these new insights being brought to my attention. My brain was a rat in its cage spinning that wheel like it was high on crack. We have a lot to talk about! I thought we were on the same page, instead we couldn’t see things more differently.

He’s right though, I am the law in our house. I am the hand and the disciplinarian and I set the rules and boundaries. I do that because I’m the one that’s home all day, and I believe in boundaries. He’s the one that is more relaxed.

Well, last night I learned that he would do things differently and I would do some things differently in our parenting. But for the most part, we like what we’re doing and I’m wondering how we’re able to raise our kids with such opposing views. Does the term, “opposites attract” apply to parenting as well? Do we need a balance of both?


Do you and your significant other have different parenting views?  Is one of you more strict than the other?


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Article Posted 4 years Ago
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